Another update ❤️
Dear friends,
Firstly, thank you to everyone who has continued supporting my children and me. Your kindness has made such a huge difference during an incredibly difficult time.
Our home
We are slowly turning the house into a home, although there is still a lot to do.
I’ve bought a dining table and four dining chairs, and I’m still paying off the chairs. I’ve also bought a desk and chair for Azalea’s room, shelves for her room, shelves for Alex, a room divider and a bed for Alex.
Azalea’s bedroom is downstairs in what was originally the living room. The kitchen now functions as our living room/kitchen, and there is an opening between the two spaces, so I’ve ordered a room divider for privacy. Her bedroom also has a large door leading to the garden, so I still need curtains for that door.
There is still an upstairs storage room with boxes to unpack, much of it books. I only got Azalea’s shelves a couple of days ago, so I still need to put those up.
The work
The back garden has already taken a huge amount of work. There was a lot of rubbish left behind, along with weeds growing extensively between the existing tiles and stones. I’ve already cleared a lot of the rubbish and overgrowth myself. The shovel was already here, but I bought a broom, strimmer and rake. I still don’t have all the equipment I need.
I eventually want to make the garden more self-sustainable by growing vegetables. I’ve collected and bought seeds and a few small pots, but I haven’t started planting yet. I’ll need more pots and containers as I build it up.
The front garden is a completely separate nightmare. The landscaping sheet is extremely old and deteriorated, with stones laid over it. Grass and weeds have grown through the sheet and around the stones, and everything has become so old and tangled together that I can’t simply remove the weeds and keep the stones. The sheet, stones, grass and weeds are essentially stuck together and need to be stripped back. For now, I’m trying to clear what I can myself, and I’ll need suitable containers or heavy-duty garden waste bags to dispose of what I remove.
I’ve also bought a sander because the downstairs doors are extremely old and filthy. One is the two-door storage cupboard where I keep dry food, and the other is the downstairs toilet door.
The downstairs toilet needs significant work. The walls are deteriorating badly and literally flake when touched, so they desperately need replastering. The upstairs bedrooms also desperately needs plastering and redecorating and in general all the walls inside house are not in good condition.
The letting agents have said they will not carry out much of this work as it will be costly. Some work requires the landlord’s agreement, and getting these decisions made will take time and I simply cannot afford to get everything done all at once.
The shed and front gate
The shed has mould and water damage, and I was told it would be removed and replaced with a smaller one. The letting agents have said the landlord has agreed to this, but the landlord is taking a long time to actually arrange it.
The plastic roof covering is badly damaged, but I have been told they will not replace it because they consider it an aesthetic issue rather than a health and safety issue, and because they say it would be too costly.
The front fence and gate are also a problem. The fence is extremely unstable and wobbles, and the gate has dropped so badly that it is practically on the ground. It has to be lifted to open and close. During a severe flare-up of my back pain, I was unable to lift it, making getting in and out extremely difficult.
My health
My back has improved since getting proper seating, but I still have daily pain, particularly in my lower back. I have an appointment with a spinal specialist on 7 September.
Taking a pause
For the time being, I’ve had to let the groups and families I work with know that I probably won’t be able to properly resume my voluntary campaign work until around 10 September.
I feel like I’ve been forced into this pause. There is simply too much to manage right now, and I need to stop pushing myself beyond what I can physically manage.
My phone
My phone has also become a huge problem.
For the last few months, on and off, I’ve been dealing with constant storage problems. It repeatedly tells me my storage is full and kicks me out of WhatsApp, meaning I have to keep deleting photos, videos and old campaign material just to use my phone.
It becomes particularly bad for two or three days at a time, before settling down for a few days and starting again. The last two days, it has started happening excessively again.
Sometimes the phone won’t even let me delete things. It glitches and refuses to delete them, so I have to restart my phone, sometimes repeatedly, just to clear space.
It has become a vicious cycle: storage fills up, I’m kicked out of WhatsApp, I try to delete things, the phone glitches, I restart it, and then the storage fills up again.
On top of the storage problems, the battery has also deteriorated badly, and I now have to keep my phone charging throughout the day just to keep it running.
It is seriously affecting my ability to communicate with the families I support. I simply cannot manage like this.
My phone contract ends on 29 August, which is also Azalea’s birthday, although I still have two months of payments remaining on the device.
Instagram
I have also lost another Instagram account — my fourth account shut down over the past year.
The account that was just shut down was one of my backup accounts, and I used to accept around 30–40 collaboration requests a day from families needing help. I also used my different accounts to amplify campaigns and boost videos.
Over time, I’ve lost four accounts. My 90k account was shut down about a year ago, followed by two smaller backup accounts, and now this 27k account has also been removed.
Every account I lose means another channel of amplification disappears.
I now only have my original account left, currently around 67k followers. This is where I run campaigns for my core families, so I need to be extremely careful with it. With four of my other accounts already shut down by Meta, I simply cannot risk losing the one account I have left. It is now my only remaining account for supporting and amplifying these families.
Once I have my new phone, I plan to set up a new email address and create another backup account.
For now
I need to slow down. I need to finish getting the house into a manageable state, look after my health and sort out my phone. I also want to be able to get back to supporting these families as soon as possible.
Azalea’s birthday is coming up on 29 August, and after everything we’ve been through, I’m trying to make sure she can enjoy it.
Having to step back from the families I support is incredibly difficult because it means so much to me. But right now, I cannot keep pushing myself until something completely breaks.
If you are able to support us, whether by donating or sharing our campaign, it would mean more than I can express. Every contribution helps us continue rebuilding our lives and making this house a home.
Thank you for understanding why I have had to take this pause and for continuing to stand beside us.
With love and gratitude ❤️
Layla