KerryAnne Shigley

Hello, my name is KerryAnne and I am a 50-year-old disabled woman who is on the brink of eviction and having my utilities turned off. In April, I attempted to end my own life. I did check into a psychiatric ward and attended intensive outpatient group therapy via Zoom. I have severe fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, IBS, arthritis, ocular migraines, and other comorbid diseases which make day-to-day life very difficult. I suffer from severe depression, PTSD, agoraphobia, and severe anxiety disorder. Having both physical and mental ailments has begun to stop me from having a fulfilling life. It is very expensive to be ill. There are no cures, only treatments. I was diagnosed in my late teens with my mental health issues. In my early twenties, I was diagnosed with my physical disabilities. I am currently fighting for SSI. My doctor declared me disabled many years ago, yet I struggle to receive SSI. One of the scariest things that has happened is that I woke up with a black eye and a cut on my eyelid. I have absolutely no recollection of what happened, and this was in May. It's been over 6 weeks, and I still do not know what happened, which is frightening. My eye is still not healed, and the doctors that have looked at it have just noted it, but I feel as if I may have a fracture. Being both physically and mentally unwell creates a barrier with doctors and receiving the correct treatment because they are quick to place it upon either my mental illness or my physical illnesses. I was recently in the hospital due to severe withdrawals from a medication that my doctor refused to refill for me. I was in the hospital for almost a week before I was released. I have been desperately seeking out a part-time job but have had very little luck in finding anything that would be suitable for me due to my illnesses. The last 4 years of my life have been spent in complete survival mode. 4 years ago, I left a narcissistic abusive relationship. He ruined me mentally, socially, and financially. While I was with him, I attempted to end my life twice and was hospitalized. He showed absolutely no compassion and forced me to come home early in order to take care of his child. He also abused me in other ways that I do not wish to speak about because it is too painful. He did not hit me, but it was worse abuse than the physical abuse I suffered from my ex-husband. I was forced to sell my home and move into an apartment. I don't mind living in an apartment because my house was too big for me being alone and ill. Unfortunately, my apartment is unsafe. My landlord does not fix things, and I have asked many times before I just gave up. I have access to a washer and dryer here, but the dryer never works, and the stairs leading to the basement are very dangerous. They're rickety wooden stairs, and the last two stairs are literally crumbling. He also never gave me keys to my apartment. There are no deadbolts on either door. I am scared that somebody will break in here and harm me. Being in survival mode for 4 years has been incredibly detrimental to both my physical and mental health. I am a very frugal woman who lives a very quiet life. My main sources of happiness are spending time with my cats, watching movies, and reading. I don't live a luxurious lifestyle, and I don't wish to. I simply want to live my quiet life and not feel like giving up all the time. It has become too much for me to do day-to-day chores by myself. I contacted a local organization, and they can hopefully provide help for me. It would be a personal assistant who would come and help me with my day-to-day chores. I am a high-risk adult, and I am on the verge of being evicted and having all of my utilities turned off. I am scared. I'm alone. To be quite honest, I am embarrassed too. This is the first time in my life where I have not been able to completely take care of myself. I realize that many people are struggling, and I do feel their pain as well because all we want is to live a simple life. My physical and mental health are very poor, and I struggle with suicidal ideations. I truly appreciate any help that you could provide to a struggling soul. I just want to live a simple and happy life with my cats. Thank you for reading my story, and if you have it within your means, it would be a blessing to receive financial help during this time.