Divorce Legal Fees
Donation protected
This is the last thing I want to do and in fact the last thing I’m trying; my values have prevented me from asking for help (apart from family of course) until the 11th hour. But after three years of finding creative ways to make things work, that time is upon me!
For those who know, I suffered a vicious divorce in 2013, with tactics and behavior that I won't detail in public, but were completely unwarranted, and uncharacteristic of the person I thought I married. Unfortunately, some of the machinations were serious enough that handling it required an attorney, and not just for the divorce itself.
My representation wasn't stellar. I suppose my lawyer did a fine job of getting me through the process, but the settlements left me in a financial state that has been untenable. She also didn't help as my ex lost my house to foreclosure, and destroyed most of my personal belongings through repeated contempt of court.
But, most importantly, I did get full shared custody of my four wonderful kids. They have, amazingly, weathered the process better than I would ever have expected. They are truly incredible.
As anyone who has gone through such a contentious process knows, it cost quite a lot, much of it in the final day of settlement. Some of this expense was left unpaid as I truly left the court with nearly nothing. I needed time.
For the last three years, I've scraped by and managed to deal with a budget that is massively overextended given the court-ordered payments. While my ex-wife's tactics backfired and the judge awarded her minimal alimony as a result of her behavior, child support for four has been expensive; essentially funding two households.
Starting in December 2015, however, my lawyer...who from this point forward will not be referred to glowingly...has decided her fees are more important than my ability to feed my children and provide them a home. She is now garnishing my wages so that I no longer have the ability to make choices about what to let lapse to ensure I provide for the kids.
I apologize if any of my friends, or those reading, are attorneys, but I see this as despicable, considering all I've asked of her is time to let the support orders expire before paying her (while she would continue to earn interest on the arrears!). It's even more horrendous when you consider the sub-par representation and the drop in the bucket the remaining $5750 is to her mid-six-figures vs. my paycheck-to-paycheck existence.
I've borrowed and budgeted as much as I can, but as I mentioned in the first paragraph, it's not enough. This is a last ditch effort, and the last thing I wanted to do.
My hope is that there are a few of you who have a little extra that could help me through the next four months by providing enough to restore the garnished portion of my income that is being taken for the legal fees. I'm willing to try and pay back those who want it to be a "loan," though given the outstanding debts created in trying to provide these last three years, it could be a while and I can't promise that. I owe a lot of money trying to stay afloat since 2013.
If there are those who have gone through it, maybe you understand most of all. If you came out whole on the other side, it's my goal to join you when the entire process is over. I think I can.
I would be most appreciative of ANYTHING, no matter how small, and will thank each and every person that helps me.
I'm a proud dad, but not so proud (/stupid) that I don't realize when I have no other options but to ask for a little help.
It occurred to me a few days ago, with people that I hadn't seen in years wishing me well on my birthday, that I have more friends and acquaintances than I knew.
If you are unable to help financially, please consider liking the post (or, better still, sharing it) to increase its exposure and sending the link to those who you think might have the means:
www.gofundme.com/ahwheelock
Thanking you in advance.
Andrew
(...and without their knowledge: Meredith, Hannah, Hayes and Trevor)
For those who know, I suffered a vicious divorce in 2013, with tactics and behavior that I won't detail in public, but were completely unwarranted, and uncharacteristic of the person I thought I married. Unfortunately, some of the machinations were serious enough that handling it required an attorney, and not just for the divorce itself.
My representation wasn't stellar. I suppose my lawyer did a fine job of getting me through the process, but the settlements left me in a financial state that has been untenable. She also didn't help as my ex lost my house to foreclosure, and destroyed most of my personal belongings through repeated contempt of court.
But, most importantly, I did get full shared custody of my four wonderful kids. They have, amazingly, weathered the process better than I would ever have expected. They are truly incredible.
As anyone who has gone through such a contentious process knows, it cost quite a lot, much of it in the final day of settlement. Some of this expense was left unpaid as I truly left the court with nearly nothing. I needed time.
For the last three years, I've scraped by and managed to deal with a budget that is massively overextended given the court-ordered payments. While my ex-wife's tactics backfired and the judge awarded her minimal alimony as a result of her behavior, child support for four has been expensive; essentially funding two households.
Starting in December 2015, however, my lawyer...who from this point forward will not be referred to glowingly...has decided her fees are more important than my ability to feed my children and provide them a home. She is now garnishing my wages so that I no longer have the ability to make choices about what to let lapse to ensure I provide for the kids.
I apologize if any of my friends, or those reading, are attorneys, but I see this as despicable, considering all I've asked of her is time to let the support orders expire before paying her (while she would continue to earn interest on the arrears!). It's even more horrendous when you consider the sub-par representation and the drop in the bucket the remaining $5750 is to her mid-six-figures vs. my paycheck-to-paycheck existence.
I've borrowed and budgeted as much as I can, but as I mentioned in the first paragraph, it's not enough. This is a last ditch effort, and the last thing I wanted to do.
My hope is that there are a few of you who have a little extra that could help me through the next four months by providing enough to restore the garnished portion of my income that is being taken for the legal fees. I'm willing to try and pay back those who want it to be a "loan," though given the outstanding debts created in trying to provide these last three years, it could be a while and I can't promise that. I owe a lot of money trying to stay afloat since 2013.
If there are those who have gone through it, maybe you understand most of all. If you came out whole on the other side, it's my goal to join you when the entire process is over. I think I can.
I would be most appreciative of ANYTHING, no matter how small, and will thank each and every person that helps me.
I'm a proud dad, but not so proud (/stupid) that I don't realize when I have no other options but to ask for a little help.
It occurred to me a few days ago, with people that I hadn't seen in years wishing me well on my birthday, that I have more friends and acquaintances than I knew.
If you are unable to help financially, please consider liking the post (or, better still, sharing it) to increase its exposure and sending the link to those who you think might have the means:
www.gofundme.com/ahwheelock
Thanking you in advance.
Andrew
(...and without their knowledge: Meredith, Hannah, Hayes and Trevor)
Organizer
Andrew Wheelock
Organizer
Frederick, MD
