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You'd think the last thing a transman in a queer relationship would have to worry about is unplanned pregnancy…


 


Well, this pregnancy was far from normal:


 


The pregnancy was a cryptic pregnancy - They are more common following a traumatic event and causes the mother to not know she's pregnant.


 


In my case, the pregnancy was a product of an assault. For the full story... click the link below


 


<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j43r8PbDmqA" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j43r8PbDmqA" target="_blank" class="" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j43r8PbDmqA</a></a>


 


Our daughter, Beau, was born premature at 3lbs and had to stay in the NICU for 6 weeks. With Covid still in full swing, we had to follow the hospital guidelines and be incredibly safe to ensure we could always make our daily visitations; But even that was hard. We could only see her singularly. So everyday we each spent 4 hours sitting, loving our tiny miracle alone in masks, to then come home and immediately retell all the cute Beau moments of the day.


 


 

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A month into her NICU stay a stressful situation we had tried to make as beautiful as possible got well.. 100x more stress full. Beau started having syncope episodes. A week later they found the source, a brain injury. We found ourselves 5 weeks into this surprise adventure being told that our daughter Beau would have special needs with the high risk for developing a possible seizure disorder. The severity of each unknown. We can only wait and see.


 


We are still doing that.... only now, 5 months later. August is working two jobs while I can only work from home so I can both take care of Beau and make sure she has her four physical therapy sessions a week to help her grow, learn, and stay on her milestone track.


 


We’ve been so incredibly blessed with donations such as clothes, diapers, wipes, even a mattress and a swing. It in a lot of ways has returned our faith in humanity and given us so much to be thankful for.


 


But like so many other coming out of a pandemic, where we had lost our jobs and finances got tight. More like tighter, living here In Downtown Los Angeles, it has become an unsafe environment for raising a child. I can’t walk to a park, or to the doctors without being harassed these days. We’ve fallen behind on our bills, rent, and there is a breaking fee to get out of our lease. We can’t afford living in the apartment anymore and we cant afford to leave, as days on we are only getting further behind.


 


This would help in so many capacities !!!


 


Parenthood was always part of our life plan. That plan was down the line and only came with financial stability attached. Even though we were thrown into parenthood in the blink of an eye, after everything we’ve faced, there isn't a thing we would change. Beau is the best thing that has ever happened to us.


 


We want to raise her in a safe, clean, calm environment that a post pandemic downtown just doesn't offer. Social media has a way of framing people as put together and perfect through the lens of what they let you see. Our struggles are private and we try to keep them that way. In this case we have to set Ego aside and ask for help. The eviction memorandum ends September 30th and we would love to be free of this stress moving into a more manageable financial future. We have tried our hardest these past few months but giving the circumstances we know that this situation was largely out of our control. As of now we are 7,000 behind in rent and it's going to cost us another 6,000 to buy out of our lease ( two months rent ). Adding on top of that moving costs in LA. First last and deposit that's another 8-10k depending on the area. This is a realistic look at what a fresh start will look like for our tiny fam. 


 

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Surprise Baby in a Pandemic Fund

Luca Dolan Ruiz

Luca Dolan Ruiz

Luca Dolan Ruiz

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Surprise Baby in a Pandemic Fund

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