Kacie

Kiara has always been healthy, but two weeks ago I found a hard lump near her belly button. It has grown rapidly, and as of Tuesday it began to bleed (whether from licking at the rapidly stretched skin or a broken blood vessel, I dont know). I am terrified, especially as I am physically disabled due to lifelong chronic health conditions, with no income right now and I have already struggled to keep up with bills and the boys special food (as theyre elderly with their own conditions and no teeth, they require specific food and to be spoonfed everyday). Kiara didnt show any signs of pain, but the lump is clearly uncomfortable (with 2 additional smaller lumps now popping up nearby), and I know now she could make a FULL RECOVERY WITH URGENT CARE. The funds will cover a vet visit, bloodwork/scans, and possible sedation and medication to treat what I now believe are ABCESS/CYSTS (READ UPDATES). WHICH IS VERY EASILY TREATED IF HANDLED SWIFTLY. SHE WOULD MAKE A FULL RECOVERY AND BE ABLE TO LIVE MANY MORE YEARS!!!! If you are able to donate, even a penny, I am forever in your debt. Kiara is my reason for living, my baby, my daughter, my reason to keep going, and my hope for a more peaceful future. Helping her would also be saving me. Life would lose all warmth and light if I lost her. We don’t have anybody left—just each other. Me, Kuroo, Ty, Tanner, and Kiara. Nothing would be the same without her. Thank you to anyone who reads, shares, or donates. This is the very last thing we needed right now, and I just want to make sure she is okay. I am afraid for even one more day to go by. I can’t lose her, WE cant lose her. She is the glue in this house. Kiara | Her Story & Personality Kiara was a raggamuffin from the streets, abandoned in a cardboard box in the winter of 2013. I was the luckiest person ever that day. She was barely 4 weeks old, alone, out in the snow... I took her in and she bonded with her brother (my first soul baby). She was (and still is) so tiny, with a kitten-like build, a sassy personality, and so incredibly loving. Shes cautious, but when she trusts someone, she’ll curl up on them and refuse to let them move. She sleeps on my chest/under my chin every night (right where her big brother slept before he passed in 2021 due to cancer), and during the day shes attached to my hip. We’ve only ever been apart when I was caring for my mum before she passed from cancer, I cant imagine a world where she is not right next to me. Kiara is the oldest (turning 13 this October) and runs the roost, not afraid to keep the boys in line but also gentle enough to rub against the dogs if they sit still and retrain from excitedly running her over. She’s like a judgmental French girl—unimpressed with most, but intuitive and loving. Her cheeks and chin are her favorite scratch spot (you must use both hands, like an expensive facial), she likes human food torn up into teeny tiny pieces, she takes joy in exfoliating my face at night with her sandpaper tongue. She is my everything, my baby, and one of the four reasons I strive to see specialists again and reach a more functional place despite my physical disabilities... So I can take care of them, give them all the things they've always been used to, and so I can strive to outlive them once they have truly lived to their FULLEST potential.

Hello, my name is Kacie. I have 4 babies (2 cats and 2 dogs) and I am physically disabled due to family conditions passed down to me, which have now left me with limitations that mean I cannot survive on my own. I am in a crisis situation where I have no income whatsoever and won't survive without external help. I have tried for the last year to seek external aid until I am able to obtain disability benefits but that has been a dead end as I don't have children which is often one of the main requirements for most programs. My 2 elderly dogs require special wet food which is about $38 a week, as they don't have teeth and they do have health conditions of their own. All I care about is them being fed, my cats are getting older but they're in much better health and aren't highly sensitive when it comes to food and so a large bag of their food is about $20 and lasts a month or more. I have ankylosing spondylitis, MS, degenerative disc disease, thoracolumbar scoliosis, severe arthritis, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, carpal tunnel, bulging discs and bone spurs, chronic migraines (on average 26 days per month), right hip needed replaced at 15, as well as issues throughout my GI which is common amongst those with severe degenerative autoimmune conditions. Especially those exposed to aggressive medications from a very young age, which I unfortunately was due to chronic infections and eventually trying to manage the symptoms of my other conditions rising to the surface. There are additional ongoing concerns that are a bit more…detrimental, but I've not sought confirmation as I've been more concerned about surviving than continuing the endless doctors visits as I have the last 17 years. When you have been sick more of your life than not, there is no desire/rush to add anything else to the list. However I will go into how my conditions have impacted my life the last few years and what my limitations are like on the day-to-day at the end of my ramblings. I have created this GoFundMe as my life has changed drastically over the last 6 years. Ive lost all my family and live in a state where I essentially only know my neighbors. I have come to realize that if I want to survive another week (and give my babies the basic needs and peace they deserve) I need help. I should have asked for help much sooner, thats how badly I need help. Even once I manage to have active disability benefits, which will likely take over a year as it did the first time, I will need help to survive until I can stabilize my health and begin any endeavor to bring in the additional income I will need to afford to live (maximum monthly disability is $994). Right now I have no income whatsoever, I do have food stamps but despite only eating once a day it is not enough to get me through the month. I only have power and water due to the limited medical deferments I have per year. I have only been able to feed my babies thanks to the help of my neighbors and those who have chosen to donate. I do not need thousand dollar donations to live comfortably, I just need the bare minimum anyone may be able to donate to make it through this period and survive long enough to get my disability sorted finally and then be able to hopefully get out of survival mode, manage the pain and symptoms of my conditions, and therefore hopefully gain enough functional hours during the day/week to obtain income through my creative pursuits or any option that I can manage with the unpredictability of my conditions. Despite being an adult I have never been able to live on my own, I've been physically disabled since I was a teen. I had more mobility and less limitations then AND I had a family friend functioning as my caregiver at that time. As a result, I was able to use that semi-functional period of my life to focus on my conditions and becoming fully functional (as I believed that was an option back then). I was very stubborn and arrogant as a teen though, I thought that my family that suffered from these conditions (my mother, my grandfather, etc) were too lax and submissive, too willing to put a bandaid on the issue and just accept their slightly slower descent into disability… I was always the health nut of the family and believed my healthy diet, strict routine, perfect habits, and dedication to trying every route of treatment was going to protect and then cure me! I was an idiot. Ironically all of my tests/scans/results were worse at 18 (compared to theirs in their 40s and 60s). I had twice as many medication allergies, twice as many side effects and symptoms, twice as many “medical mystery” moments... I was the only one in the family to pursue all the medications, procedures, therapies, alternative and holistic treatments. I have seen more specialists than I can count and they all said the same thing: There is nothing we can do for you, the only option for these conditions is to manage the symptoms. However, by the time I had spent years going through all the specialists, medications, procedures, and options, I didn't want to accept the only option that was left which was pain management. I had a lot of fear around it and felt I was too young to accept such extremes so early. I regret this more than anything to be honest as my health has deteriorated rapidly over the last 5 years of grieving the loss of the people I loved most, of putting it off as the last resort, or trying to survive when one bad thing after another happened. I have lost so much time, some would say the “best years of my life” lying in pain for 90% of every day. The simplest things I used to be able to do for myself I cannot anymore. It is the most miserable dehumanizing thing and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially anyone who was once a neurotic workaholic, busybody, “I can fix it/do it myself” person. My conditions have limited me from working any kind of job, even remotely, as my migraines are so severe and unpredictable. I am allergic to 80% of the migraine medications available and have been on one of the few that are safe for me to take for over 10 years now. Not only are there only 9 doses a month, but they do not work the way they used to if at all. My migraines alone are like a full time job, often coming on in the morning and lasting 6 hours at BEST… I do not get any warning, I am “blind deaf and dumb” as they say… during the entirety of the migraine. When I was young the light and sound sensitivity was severe, but now I physically cannot see my hand in front of my face. When taking the risk of using my migraine mediation 2 or more days in a row I risk rebound migraines in addition to the morning migraines. Admittedly my migraines were not as severe when my back, neck, and hip pain weren't as bad. Which is why I hope I can obtain some little bit of stability, to seek whatever last resort their is, which will hopefully lessen the whole and leave me with hours during the day where I may be functional. Where I will perhaps be lucky enough to have some semblance of a predictable schedule where I could work and have purpose and obtain the necessary additional income I will need to survive on my own. My back pain is, out of all the pains, the absolute worst and most consistent. It does not stop and has not dipped below a 7 in the last six years. It makes it extremely difficult to stand, which makes sense when you consider the fact that I am quite literally missing the entirety of most discs and have bone spurs growing into my spinal canal since the age of 16. It's just as painful to sit or lay, I am constantly having to slowly adjust my position. Both my back and my bad right hip wake me constantly. I cannot recall the strict 8 hour sleep schedule I had as a young teen because now its a miracle if I sleep for 45 minutes straight. I used to hike, swim, ride horses, and work on a FARM. The mental anguish of having all of that taken away from you is just as bad as the constant physical pain and feeling trapped inside a body that doesn't work while all your mind wants to do is be free. My hands and hip ache like they're being slammed in a truck door any time it's the slightest bit cold, when it rains, when I have to open a jar or bend to put on a shoe. My hip is straight bone on bone and you can often HEAR the grinding and popping. It's painful to sit or lay on my side as it often feels like my hip is a rusty spoon being scraped into the socket. Sometimes it's agonizing to even shift position if I settle for too long because then it's painful to move at all. I often get severe muscle spasms shooting up my back and down my leg which prevent me from moving at a normal pace or taking the stairs like a normal adult would. My stomach issues are something I've “managed” by primarily keeping my diet healthy but just eating once a day. I couldn't bare to eat multiple times a day and deal with the consequences 3 to 4 times a day… I have holes in my stomach and ulcers so eating at all is painful, period. Therefore for many years now I only eat after everyone else eats (in other words, after the boys are spoonfed their dinner) so that the hours of discomfort don't interfere with their needs (or if I'm lucky and have recovered early enough from a migraine, don't interfere with with the limited time I get to make any calls or do my telehealth appts). Sometimes my GI issues do result in miserable extremes every once in a while, but I've tried to manage it the best I can. Its the rest of it that is debilitating, but made all the more difficult with the symptoms of the “smaller" conditions sprinkled in. The chronic pain, fatigue, muscle atrophy, the grating and aching and spasms, the pulled muscle from one sneeze that takes weeks to heal. The constant pain no matter whether I am standing, sitting, laying, meditating, rolled in heating pads and patches. Nothing helps anymore. Right now I just want some little chance of surviving. Of being able to continue feeding my babies as they are all I have left of my mother and of my life before. I love them more than anything and they're the only reason I am still here. I don't think anyone could survive or endure it otherwise. I just want a chance to survive and take care of them and maybe have a semi-normal life. I don't want subscriptions or takeout, I don't want to have any kind of special life, I just want to have power and water. I made it through multiple winters without heat. I can manage, I just want to survive so I can keep my babies well enough to live out their full lives with me for however long IM here. I can't do it on my own. I have put this off for too long out of embarrassment, self hatred, stubbornness, fear… But I can't anymore, I need help. If you or anyone you know is able to donate, every little penny makes a difference. It buys the food for my babies. It allows me to focus on trying to keep the bills on, save our home, take the steps needed to get my disability benefits, move us towards a place where we won't need help to survive. Any donation makes a difference as we have nothing. I have only made it this long thanks to my wonderful neighbors but I cannot rely on them alone as it has already been too much of a burden. If anyone can help or share this PLEASE do. I am grateful to anyone who even reads it (p.s. I am hoping to come back and make it more comprehensive/thorough) let alone chooses to help. If youre able to donate, please know that in my eyes you are directly delivering the comfort/security/peace to my babies that I have been scrambling and failing at trying to provide... and because of that I am forever grateful and indebted to you. I know its a difficult time in the world, and sometimes I think its hard to see whats worth contributing towards. If you've decided that my fundraiser is worth contributing the money you worked to earn, thank you. You have no idea the gift youre handing me and I promise to you that I will make the most of it. Please meet my beautiful babies: This is Ty Earl. He turned 16 on September 5th this year and he was my mothers pride and joy, her reason for living despite her disabilities (and then cancer). He is a baby. He will look into your eyes and cry, just because. He will bark if you stare for too long... he enjoys staying inside and never being left alone. He has suffered from stress induced seizures for as long as I can remember, which is unsurprising considering most of his life he has never been alone for more than 15 minutes. He only has tiny teeth and must be spoon fed. He likes to wear sweaters in the winter and aggressively rub against furniture to remove his clippies. He enjoys making more work for sissy (aka. Me) by knocking things over and generally causing chaos. This is Tanner. He turned 12 on April Fools Day this year. He is Ty's (and Torie, my mothers other original service dog) son, I am actually the one who delivered him! He is a gentle boy who enjoys being the center of attention. The only toy he accepts is his purple lambchop which has been replaced several times over the years. He will roll on his back and swipe his hands over his eyes to get your attention and affection. He is truly a baby but in a joyful way as opposed to Ty crying to gain your affections. He despised thunder storms and fireworks and requires around the clock surveillance when these events occur. He has a skin condition which makes him sensitive to seemingly everything, but he is not upset about it. He is prone to growths like his mother was, so he had to have surgery to remove a potato sized growth behind his ear last year. Another underneath his other ear was meant to be removed during the same surgery however it wasn't, and has grown a bit over time. I am hoping it does not become any larger as the previous growth caused him a lot of discomfort. These are my 2 cats which I had prior to taking in my mothers service dogs after her passing. Kuroo was adopted and Kiara was found on the streets during winter at only several weeks old, she is still tiny like a kitten due to genetics according to the vet. Kuroo birthday is March 9th and he is 9. He enjoys playing fetch and will beg for anything dairy related even though he is lactose intolerant. He will eat just about anything and enjoys sneezing on everything. He has had an upper respiratory condition since he was a kitten but he doesnt let that get him down. He is slightly overweight but he isnt upset about it as his favorite activity is lounging in the sun and snacking. He enjoys being held and heavy pets. This is Kiara, her birthday was estimated to be around September/October, she is 11. She is a small ragamuffin from the streets but she sleeps on mummies chest every night. She's as big as a zucchini and probably weighs less. She's lithe and sassy, but sweet and lovable. She enjoys being swaddled and held, shes rarely ever a few feet away from me, and she only gives kisses to those she likes. She enjoys medium scratches and gentle pets, just dont touch her belly or she will knife you in a back alley. My mother used to call her "keekerz". She is currently in my lap chirping as I write this.