Cameron Ok

Hi all, my name is Cameron. I have long term mental health issues (which started around the age of 6). I was subject to a lot of bad things as a child. I witnessed violence, had someone try to murder my family and I as a child, suffered sexual abuse, bullying at school (severe from nearly my whole year group for ‘being weird’), and went into care as a child due to a near fatal suicide attempt. ive had long term mental health problems stemming from many things I’ve been through from an early age. as a child I was with CAMHS (nhs mental health team for children basically), and I was with them from around the ages of 6 to 18. At 18, when I left care, I was told that I’d be fully discharged and need to access adult mental health services to get referred. In 2021 (when I turned 18), I tried all of this. For years and years I’ve been turned down for the help that I really need. Instead, I’ve just been swapped around on medications and turned down. I tried to access talking therapy several times through the nhs. I was turned down several times, spanning years, as they felt that their services were not right for me, due to the complexity of my health. They believed that I had complex PTSD and possibly personality disorder. They each time referred me to the CMHT (central access point in my city), and I was throughly assessed each time via phone call. Every single time I was turned down, and told to go back to the talking therapy to be assessed by them, or given to my gp for care. I spoke to them again this year, and all that they did was put me on yet another medication, Mirtazipine or something. so, I’m back in this cycle. I’ve not gotten better from medication, as medication doesn’t get rid of thoughts, memories, trauma… I need real help. Someone to talk to, someone to process trauma with, someone to just listen… not some medication to maybe boost my mood. im really on the edge of life, and I just want a way out. I want to get better desperately though. I’ve considered ending it all, but I don’t want to die. I just want to be well. I’ve looked at private route, and there’s no way I can afford that. I’m on low income, and a carer to my mother. I can’t afford this. As all of the help I need would be very expensive. If anyone can help with me getting psychiatric help, and talking therapy, I’d be so appreciative. I just want to live a happy life and thrive. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m trying to make changes, but it’s impossible to when I’m not supported. I have dreams. I dream to be a pilot. I love medication. I want a family. I just want happiness. So, if anyone can help me. thank you so much. I hate asking for money, but one day I’ll pass on the kindness to someone else. When I am eventually thriving. I’m determined to get better and live happily, but just am lost in a cruel system. thank you. Cameron