Jennifer Fiddes

hey hey, treatment went well yesterday, so I'm hoping for a better week than last. too much crying last week. I am physically safe, and he's mostly cut out the verbal abuse. money to get out of here is still a problem. I need a job, and I need it to be remote, and there's a lot of us out here. your generosity has helped me survive the last few months, and I am so appreciative. please share this. I'm not out of the woods yet. Have a great day! june/jen p. s. I do daily video updates on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/junefaramore

hey hey I am safe, I am sound. At least physically, tho this cold sucks. Sorry it is taking me so long to get my life together. Things are expensive, and I went and pissed off my kid, so... I am not sure where to go or what to do. I shouldn't be here. But life is scary and I haven't been alone out there in twenty years. Besides, the only room that's popped up is from Jack who only wants female roommates in a 1br studio. I need to be okay with being uncomfortable. I just don't know how I can continue music if I am sharing a one bedroom. I went to two Full Sail events last week, and I am not sure how useful they were other than the guy who looked us right in the eye and said to keep doing your shit and it'll come for you. So the alumni mixers are worth it. I am not sure about the job fairs. Not a lot of remote positions, only R&B studios, I hurried and got dressed up just to feel overdressed again. On a positive note, my resume did get sent through to ASCAP I believe, so maybe something there will work out. I am just worried about the pressure of taking something in my field. I still don't do so well with pressure. I hope your lives are more together than mine, and will try to be back mid-week. love you, jen/june

hey hey. Just got finished putting in a trio of applications. hope I'll get extra credit because I submitted in the "preferred" format. gofundme likes to eat my updates, I had a novel written then I had to close my phone. it was not there when I got back. So I will try to summarize: daughter probably hates me. BPD is a bitch. job search going well, at least in number of resumes submitted. I am very sad. thank you my new donators and hope you get a kick out of these rants of mine. this is my face at rest atm:

hey hey, so I was wrong and made assumptions - as we all do sometimes. My daughter will speak to me but just doesn't want to live with me. This still hurts. I guess our depressions wouldn't work well together or something. I don't know. She won't tell me exactly why. Probably to save my feelings. But my feelings are hurt anyway and now I am not sure what I am going to do. The quest for a job begins. I don't know enough people up there anymore to sleep on someone's couch while I try, so here I sit, stuck in the same situation I've been stuck in for years. I am grateful not to be on the street. I am with someone who both helps me and hurts me, so it's difficult. Difficult not ro complain. I'm still trying to make a fresh start. I'm just bumbling around with it because I've never lived on my own, and haven't looked for an apartment in 15 years. I don't feel like I can do it. Please help me. thank you, jen/june

hey hey, Someone let me know if these get annoying and I'll stop. Anyway, my daughter backing out of living or talking to me finally hit me today. No more shock, just pain. It does not help that I do not understand what I did. Maybe hurt her feelings cause I wasn't ready to see them having a good time at Faire without me. I am a child. That is the update on the daughter front. I tailored and submitted a resume for one of the curated jobs Full Sail posts, though I am not quite sure I used the right resume. I am very new to this. But yes, that does mean I need your continued support, at least through your hearts and prayers. I don't want to use the "Help June Get Home" fundraiser money from Second Life, as that money was raised specifically to help get me back to Baltimore. There's just this little thing of getting a job before anyone will rent me a place. She has the job and lack of history that we hoped would get us in a 1-2 bedroom with a cosigner, who would've been one of her friends. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of working at this point, but at least I like the computer. Now the plan is job, then move and restart my life. Alone. Hope you have a great day! Jen/June

hey hey as I continue on this journey, I've realized that a job is an important part of the puzzle. but not just any job, one that uses the skills I learned at Full Sail. I was Salutorian after all. I just didn't care enough. my bad. so I will apply to at least one job today, tailoring my resume to fit what the company is looking for. I never submitted resumes in my previous life of Gas Station Cashier. SSDI Admits I can't do it anymore, but still won't pay me. bastards. I am applying for SSI. I'm through the first appeal, I am sure there will be others. But I can't wait around anymore. he's been sweet as pie but I know how it goes, and if I fail in his eyes he will bring the hurt. he thinks me moving to Baltimore is a joke. I suppose it is without a job or a roommate. These are things I can fix. I'm sorry Skya. thank you, jen/june

hey hey, a real update. My daughter basically telling me to fuck off sucks. I am at the beginning of my job hunt. I know, I know, I should have started sooner, but hopefully with Full Sail's alumni career help I will be able to find something soon. Need a blazer. Or to find my black cardigan. For all the interviews I hope will be coming. One resume a day at least, that's what I can handle alongside my current sl shows, managing an sl musician(as I want to do), and dealing with J. Notice that cleaning is not on the task list. I will get to what I get to. Hope everyone is well. If you can donate anymore, it would really help me get back on my feet. My plan of working through sl is obviously not gonna happen, and I don't want to dip into the fundraising money that was given to get me back to Baltimore. thank you, jen/june

hello. my daughter no longer wants to live with me. but i said i was going to baltimore and that's where i'll be trying to go. still want remote job, still wanna keep moving forward. i'm in shock tho. i'm sorry child, I should have looked at your stuff for your feelings, not mine. i was just wet and cold and in shock ren faire actually closed. anyway. i'll start looking at studios and rooms for rent up there. it'll probably be easier. i think i have joined every baltimore rentals fb group. i'll find something. sorry the dream is dead. june/jen