C Zuckerwise

Time for a small update: This Tuesday is our court date for eviction. Not sure what to expect, but the lawyer that was VT Legal Aide assigned to us has informed us last week that since we don’t really have a case, she isn’t going to represent us in court. Based on the information we have, the sheriff will likely be here by the end of the week to serve us the final eviction, and then we’ll be forced out of the apartment within a week or so after that. This past Wednesday we had an intake interview with economic services for a program that offers motel stays for homeless families. They can’t actually do any placement until we’re officially homeless, so once we have the ‘writ of possession’ from the sheriff, so for now, all we can do for now is wait and prepare. I’m looking at storage units for the bulk of our possessions, but since we don’t know specifically where we might end up living, it’s hard to decide which facility makes the most sense. I’m afraid of renting a unit near our current apartment and then being told that we’re going to be living someplace an hour away. Also, since we cannot physically do much in the way of packing and moving items to storage, I don’t want to have to hire movers twice, once to take the bulk of our furniture and again to take anything that we can’t go without, such as our bed. Speaking of our physical limitations, this week I saw my orthopedist and things are not looking good. I’m getting a new MRI this coming week to check for any major changes in the two years since my last scan. There is some concern because my pain has gotten progressively worse and I’m having issues going up to the C1 vertebrae, which could mean that degeneration could be affecting up into the base of my skull. Once the MRI confirms and pinpoints specific problem areas, I’m going to be undergoing a series of new procedures, the last available option before surgery becomes inevitable. First will be a series of ‘medial branch blocks,’ where the doctor will inject anesthetic into the nerves along the outside of the vertebrae. If, and only if, these are successful in reducing the pain, then I get to go in two more times for a ‘radiofrequency ablation,’ where they use heat to burn off those nerve endings, stopping pain signals from traveling to the brain. On one hand, his sounds really fascinating and promising, but at the same time I’m also horrified at the idea of completely disabling pain receptors. My biggest concern is that if I can’t feel the pain, how can I be sure that I haven’t potentially injured the affected area worse? Of course, at this point, the alternative is surgery. Based on the issue’s that I’m having and the apparent area that would be need treatment, surgery would likely be focused somewhere from the C-1 to C-4 vertebrae, an area that has a major risk of causing severe limitations to my range of motion, and from what I’ve been reading, this is a best case scenario. Losing major range of motion could potentially affect my ability to drive, in turn, making it more challenging to be able to get to work or even do most basic jobs. I feel like my only choices at this point are to continue to live my life in constant excruciating pain or completely lose my ability to function in general, and that is a terrifying concept. In the meanwhile, I’m still currently unemployed and looking for work. It’s been extremely challenging just trying to find potential jobs that I feel I can physically manage. I’m hoping to find an office type job, or even something remote so that I can balance my work life with my physical restrictions and needs. In the meantime, I’ve filed for disability benefits, hoping that maybe if I get approved, it can help supplement our general needs. I think that covers everything going on right now. I’ve honestly never felt so physically useless and hopeless in my life.

I would just like to start by saying how much I hate having to post another one of these. It kills me having to beg for help from family and friends, and part of the reason my credit is so bad is years of ignoring bills instead of asking for help when things were exceptionally bad. The last few months have been incredibly tough. Back in November, Kerri was once again denied for disability (that fight continues), and we lost our SNAP benefits because I apparently make just over Vermont’s poverty line cutoff. Additionally, the persistent health issues that have been affecting Rollo have cost us quite a bit in vet bills, and to make matters worse, I’ve been in the emergency room twice since early November. And then there’s my car… my yearly inspection expired back in May, and I have kept pushing it off because I haven’t had the money for the inspection, never mind any repairs that might be necessary to pass the inspection. Then on December 12th, I was in a car accident, which thankfully was very minor, but even with my insurance, I have a deductible to pay when the car is finished and then I have to wait for the other driver’s insurance to reimburse me since she was at fault. It really feels like the hits never stop coming, and I’ve been desperately trying to get a handle on our expenses, but now as we head into the peak of winter, our work hours have been cut, and I’ve gone from working 40-45 hours a week to an average of 30 hours. I don’t know what to do anymore—every time I take one small step towards getting our finances in order, I feel like something comes along and gives me a swift “Sparta kick” to the gut, sending me several giant leaps backwards. Kerri and I love y’all and I hope that one day we can make up for all the begging we have been forced to do over the last year. Words cannot properly express how grateful we are for the help we have already been given and any help that will be given as we try and get back on track.