Kendelle Phillips

I just want to start by saying thank you. Truly. Every donation, every share, every message, every prayer, every person who has helped us get this far has meant more than I can explain. We are officially at the part of this move where everything feels very real. We’re packing constantly, booking hotels for the drive, trying to keep every expense as low as possible, and doing our best to keep moving forward. One thing I didn’t fully account for is how expensive traveling with two large dogs can be. A lot of hotels charge per dog, per night, and some of them are charging as much as an extra $100 a night just for the dogs. Over a week of travel, it adds up incredibly fast. Packing has also been much more physically and emotionally exhausting than I expected. I’ve been having more migraines lately, which I know is probably my body responding to the stress of all of this. And I still haven’t packed Zeppelin’s room. I keep walking past it knowing I need to start, and I just can’t make myself do it yet. This will be the first time since he was born that Zeppelin will not have a dedicated space in our home. Even though he isn’t physically here, his room has still been his. His things are there. His space is there. There is something about packing that room into boxes that makes this move feel heavier than I know how to explain. Right now, we’re shooting for a goal of $25,000. That would help us cover the remaining moving and travel expenses, but it would also give us something I think we desperately need: a little bit of breathing room. The drive from Nashville to Oregon will take us about a week. Our hope is that we can also take one additional week off work once we arrive so we can unpack, get the boys settled, recover from the stress of the move, and allow our nervous systems a minute to come down before immediately jumping back into working full time. Having even that small cushion would make such a difference for us. We are believing that our needs will be met. We are trying to have faith that the right people will continue seeing this, sharing it, helping where they can, and opening doors for us along the way. Thank you for carrying us through this season in all the ways you have. We love you more than we can say. Photo is of Zeppelin around age 4 when we carved pumpkins together. ☺️ Kendelle, Mikey, Luca & Florin

We’ve stalled out at $14,104, but we’re still holding onto hope that this update might reach new eyes. People who may be able to donate, share, or simply help us get this in front of someone who can. The last couple of weeks have been a lot. August 31st marked two years since Zeppelin was killed. September 2nd was Luca’s 13th birthday. And just three days ago, on September 7th, Zeppelin would have turned 19. Emotionally, we are carrying so much right now. And at the same time, real life keeps demanding things from us physically, financially, and logistically. We’re both working full time. We’re homeschooling the boys. We’re trying to pack up an entire house, take care of the dogs, keep up with daily life, and somehow get our family across the country to Oregon. We simply haven’t been able to get everything packed and ready in time for Luca to start school there when he needs to, so we’re now having to fly him to Oregon ahead of us so he can start school on time. We’re also facing a very large expense to break our lease, along with all of the moving costs that continue to add up. This move is not something we decided lightly. We need family. We need support. We need a chance to breathe and figure out how to keep living and parenting after everything that has happened. $14,104 is an incredible amount of help, and we are deeply grateful for every single person who has donated and shared. Truly. You have already taken an enormous amount of fear off our shoulders. But we aren’t there yet. If you’re seeing this and you’re able to donate, even a small amount helps us get closer. And if donating isn’t possible, PLEASE share this. Post it. Text it to a friend. Send it to someone who might understand why getting our family to Oregon right now matters so much. We’re holding out hope that this reaches the people who can help us close the gap. Thank you for continuing to hold our family up through one of the hardest seasons of our lives. -Kendelle, Mikey, Luca, and Florin

**We hit $13,000! ** I have to start with this: we received one incredibly generous donation from Sally E. that pushed us past $13,000, and I am just overwhelmed with gratitude. We are so lucky to have good people in our lives — people who show up for us in ways we didn't even know we needed. We're two days away from Zep's death date, and honestly, I'm feeling better than I expected to going into it. I did have a good cry last night, so maybe that's part of why today feels a little lighter. Grief doesn't move in a straight line, and I'm learning to just let it come when it comes. On the moving front — the boys are starting to come around to the idea of Oregon and us living in my parents house. It's going to be an adjustment for all of us, no doubt. There will be sacrifices along the way, but when I look at the bigger picture, I know it's going to be worth it for our family. We still have some ground to cover to hit our goal. Anything raised beyond what we need for the actual move will go toward bills while we get settled, and help make up for the income we'll lose during the 5 days it takes to get there. To everyone who has donated, shared, or just sent love our way — thank you doesn't feel like enough, but thank you. We feel Zeppelin's generous heart in every single one of you. He is shining through all of this, through all of you, and it means more than you know. Zeppelin's mom

Hey Friends! GUESS WHO'S CAR NEEDS 2 NEW TIRES BEFORE THE CROSS COUNTRY MOVE???? You can't make this stuff up. Please share the Gofundme if you can! This move is becoming more and more expensive as each day passes and I'm actually getting really nervous that we won't be able to pull it off.

As we get closer to the 2-year anniversary of losing Zeppelin, I find myself annoyed at all of the daily life, human crap we have to deal with. It seems so trivial and unnecessary. It’s pulling my attention away from processing what happened and grieving the loss of him. The loss of us. The loss of a life that wanted to be lived.
 I just want to focus on memories of him and let the waves of grief and sadness wash over me without having to pause for this human existence.
 I would be an absolute basket case right now if it weren’t for you all supporting us as we make this huge decision to move to Oregon. If it weren’t for these donations, Mikey and I would be panicking and stressing day and night, racking our brains trying to figure out how to make this work.
 With our financial goal almost met, we are able to know that the basics are covered. That with a strict budget and sacrifices, we can make this move to Oregon happen. Today, I have a peace that wouldn’t be present if it weren’t for y’all and your donations. My family is and will forever be so grateful for those who held us up during our darkest times.
 Please keep sharing the GoFundMe and our Venmo (kendelle-phillips) & CashApp ($kendellephillips)! We are almost there, but we haven’t met the goal yet, and there are so many more expenses that weren’t factored into this goal.
 Thank you for the gift of security. -Kendelle, Mikey, Luca, Florin, and Zeppelin in spirit *Photo from our trip to the Oregon coast.

Almost two years ago, our teenage son Zeppelin was murdered outside of our home in Nashville, TN. We’re still not okay. Both of us kept waiting for the part where it gets easier, and it just keeps getting harder. As time goes on the shock has worn off and the reality of losing him mixed with intense trauma from the violence brings us to our knees. We’re coming up on that time of year again and it has become clear that we cannot keep doing this by ourselves. We are giving our boys a fraction of what they need right now. Not because we don’t love them completely. But because there is literally nothing left in either of us to give. For two years we have held our heads up high and fought hurdle after hurdle, all while being so incredibly wounded ourselves and trying to parent and bring safety to two grieving and traumatized children. We are losing. We simply cannot go on without help. So we’re moving to Oregon. Kendelle’s parents are there in Eugene, and have offered to let us stay with them rent free while we heal and get back on our feet. Her brothers and sisters in law are there, along with MANY aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, cousins, and friends that feel like family. Her last living grandparent lives in Eugene and turns 100 next year, and we want to spend as much time with him as we possibly can before he goes to join Zeppelin on the other side. We will be close enough to Zeppelin’s dad in Portland to see him and be able to heal together with him. Mikey’s family is sprinkled throughout Oregon too and will be a source of comfort and support. That’s the whole plan. Get to the people and let them help. Two unromantic reasons we want to make the move before winter. We want the kids settled into a school at the beginning of the year instead of dropped into the middle of one. And we’ll be taking a moving truck over the mountains, and December is not the month for that with two cars, a moving truck, two kids, and two big dogs. Getting there is about 2,300 miles and five or six days on the road. Motels that will take the dogs, gas for three vehicles, food for four people for the better part of a week. That part alone adds up fast, and then there’s the cost of the moving truck, storage, and any fees associated with moving out of our current home. We can’t pay for this. That’s the problem, plainly. We are not treading water over here. We went under a while ago and have been holding our breath and trying our hardest to keep going. Losing a child rips the rug out from underneath you without any warning or safety net. We are both self employed, and our income is service based and depends on us feeling like whole, functioning people. Which, as you can imagine, is almost impossible and leaves us so depleted. We need your help. What we raise goes toward the move itself and toward keeping our bills current while we make this transition back. Some of you already showed up for us once, in the worst days of our lives, and we have never once forgotten it. Coming back a second time is the hardest part of writing this. But we’d rather ask than keep pretending, and we’d rather our kids have parents who are present and healthy than parents who were too proud. If you can give, thank you. If you can’t, share it, or just think of and pray for us. All of those things are real help. We’re trying to get to the people who can hold us up for a while until we’re able to do it again on our own. With so much love and immeasurable gratitude, Mikey, Kendelle, Luca, and Florin