Last night Colton wasn’t reacting to me and saying I want mum while I was right in front of him.
This morning was the same so we were worried his sight was affected.
We had 2 reviews over night as he was limp, not reacting and a bit swollen.
Then neurologists came in to do an EEG on his brain and look for seizures if any.
Today I went into the meeting having in my mind it was the PTLD - Post Transplant Lymphoproliferative Disease because this is curable some more chemotherapy and done.
That was not the case, there was the immunologist, oncology doctors and neurologists plus student doctors, social worker and student.
It was very overwhelming, I’m used to people but knowing there was something I didn’t want to hear in front of so many people broke me.
I try not to let people see me cry so to break down in front of so many people got me.
There is a lot of white marking on the grey matter of his brain and there was swelling.
They think when they found the PTLD that there may have been something else, they do not know what it is.
They also told me his cells, he must have had some “playing up” have attacked my cells so they are stopping transplant.
The words I heard today is “ this can be life threatening”.
The plan was to give steroids and another chemotherapy drug in his spine to reduce the brain swelling then to put him back on Cyclosporine an immune suppressant to stop his cells attacking mine.
Weeks ago it was all my cells! The doctors told me there was nothing wrong with my cells, he just had a couple of overactive ones.
The results from the Lumbar Puncture aren’t all back yet but the ones that have come back are negative.
When Colton came to this afternoon back on ward, half asleep but he was looking at me.
To make sure, I put my thumb to my nose and wiggled my fingers, he gave me the brightest smile then I could see his eyes following me ❤️
We have a longer road ahead by the looks of it but you just push through, you just do it.
Yes we’re exhausted but we can crash and burn when this is over.