Nikki Long

I guess I will start where this all happened. Back in 2014 I had my first child. A daughter. She was preemie and came at 28 weeks. She is now 10 and thriving wonderfully. In 2017 I had my second and last child. A son. Dealing with all the emotions and roller coasters of having a child on top of the child being premature, visiting nicu, going to eye doctors, cardiologists, neurologists etc, I didn’t pay no attention to what post partum depression could be, even after having my son. Well in may of 2018, dcf was contacted based allegations of neglect. I was in an emotional/physical/mental abusive relationship. I was told that during times of my ex having my son (because I would go to a friends house to be away from my ex) he starved him by diluting his formula. I had concerns on why it didn’t look like he was gaining weight but I just thought it was something to do with the formulas so I kept changing it trying to figure out what was wrong. In the beginning I took my son with me, but my ex stopped allowing that and I didn’t know any better that legally he couldn’t do that because we weren’t married. I wanted away from him so bad and I felt like I didn’t have any options. Well I stayed at my friends a lot. But fast forwarding, during the dcf investigation I learned that my ex told dcf I was involved in starving my son and that wasn’t true! But they didn’t believe me! So my son and my daughter were taken from us! I went through the dependency case for a whole year. I did everything on my case plan. I had a amazing lawyer! But when it came to the final hearing he just up and dismissed himself from the case and I got put to a new public defender. Keeping in mind my case plan was complete, I felt really nervous, my case manager approached me without my public defender present and told me she was going to request permanent guardianship to the guardian who happened to be my mother. I couldn’t understand why because I did everything I was asked to do! My public defender approached me afterwards and said he believed the judge would go with what dcf wanted! That I needed to just give them what they wanted and come back later. I felt so overwhelmed at this point. I fought for a whole year to get my kids. I went through parenting classes, I did individual and group therapy etc! The case ended in permanent guardianship because that’s what they wanted and I felt hopeless and threatened so I just said whatever. Ive learned years later they trapped me. They intimidated me. They did the only tactic they had left and it was intimidation! I’ve learned that case worker is no longer employed and I’ve made changes in my life to better my situation. But I’ve been told I will receive the same lawyer! I don’t want that. He didn’t fight for me. He laid down and gave dcf what they wanted! I have an amazing relationship with both of my children and they both want to come home. I have them a majority of the time anyways so it only seems right. I’m asking if anyone could please help me with funding so I can hire my own attorney and bring my kids home! Please!