TAC surgery needed

Long Emotional Post...
First thank you for reading my campaign. This is a bit lengthy because I want you to understand my story. My name is Amanda, I am 33 years old. Since I was young all I dreamed about was being a mother. At 16 I was diagnosed with PCOS. A severe case. I was told that I could never have children. I was 16, I wasn't thinking about babies even though I had always wanted them. My focus was school, college, good job and my own house. But that changed when my sister had her second daughter. I held her and cried because it finally sank in that this was something I would never have. But I wasn't one to give up, and I was determined that the Drs we're wrong. I wanted motherhood, I couldn't be broken and unfixable. I had to be able to do what God created a woman body to do, bare children. I went to several different Drs with all the same answer don't get your hopes up, it highly unlikely that you will ever have children. When I bought my niece some things I picked up some carebear outfits and told them, watch what my God can do because I will bring a child home in these outfits.
At 18 I was working a good job, good pay and great insurance that covered infertility!!! I asked my parents if they would give me their blessing and support to try to conceive a child using donor sperm. They told me as parents they love me and would support my decision. Because of my age insurance required me to do a psych evaluation before covering treatments. At 19 I was able to start treatments. A couple rounds of failed Clomid later, I ended up in and out of the hospital. It took a year and a half to be diagnosed with a gallbladder about to rupture. So that postponed fertility. Years and years later with no avail on treatments working, I hit an all time low. Both of my sisters had children, and I hate to admit it I was jealous. I was angry and hurt, it hurt to see pregnant women and women with children. I avoided the baby aisles in stores because it hurt to much.
Fast forward til now. We moved to Georgia and as I was unpacking I found all the things I'd been saving for my one day baby. I cried and prayed into those items for a long time. I started researching fertility Drs. I found Dr. Blohm and despite his reviews I went to see him. He was going to be my Dr. Tests and tests he ran and told me that my problem was I don't ovulate on my own, and hadn't for about 11 years!!! I finally had some answers, but now where does that leave me? More broken than before, did I miss my chance to be a Mom? Mothers day every year was hard, especially these past 2 as I watched my oldest niece become a Mom herself. But Dr Blohm said he could help me. We tried rounds of Clomid until I had reached the highest dose of Clomid and it all failed. We did a laproscopic surgery and Dr Blohm said there is a good sign that injectable meds could work.
However, he discovered I had diabetes and I couldn't do the injectable medicines until my diabetes was under control. It was 9.3 I told him I would see him in 3 months, and in February 2016 it was down to 6.1, thanks to Trim Healthy Mama (a biblical eating plan, great for diabetics). I had to use 3 vials of follistim, injected every day, plus all my oral meds. Insurance doesn't cover the meds. Follistim was almost $900 a vial, but it was going to be worth it. Did a timed IUI and dreaded the 2 week wait. And disappointed it was negative. I came home and prayed and prayed. I told God I will step out in faith, I stocked the spare room with diapers and wipes galore. Everything a baby would need. Crib and all, I pulled out that old outfit and poured more tears and prayers into it.
March 2016 came, more Follistim injections, this time added lupron to keep me from ovulating too soon from the medicines again. March 17 I triggered with Ovadrel and did a timed IUI on March 19. 2 weeks again, I tested and two pink lines showed up. At 5 weeks I started to bleed. I was scared to death, went to the ER, they said all looked good, yolk sac and all on both! It was twins. I prayed for 1, God was giving me 2. At 6 weeks I bled harder, saw Dr Blohm and he said the words no one wants to hear, I can't find the heartbeats. But lets wait a week. My bleeding stopped. I spent the week in the nursery praying. At 7 weeks, I went back to be told my body had started to reabsorb the babies. They were gone. I barely made it into the hallway before my legs gave out and I collapsed on the floor. I didn't have the strength to get up. That same night I had a co-worker test me and call me a baby killer, to stop wasting my money trying because all I would ever do is kill my babies. That I was never meant to be a Mom because she has two kids and now mine are gone. I was crushed.
In August my body had healed but my insurance cut all fertility coverage. But I was ready to try again. All the shots, pills everything again. On my birthday August 19 I got those beautiful 2 pink lines. I was so afraid that I would have what happened to the twins would happen again. For the next 7 days until I could have blood drawn I took 18 tests in disbelief. After 3 blood draws I was told not to get my hopes up because my hcg wasn't doubling and that indicates an ectopic pregnancy. I went in for an ultrasound to confirm. He checked my ovaries which he said was clear. Then he said lets check the right side and started counting, 1,2,3 now lets check the left. Well you got them, triplets! But only 1 has a heartbeat, come back in 1 week and lets see what we have. 7 weeks all 3 had a heartbeat, but was told 2 were measuring a week behind expect that they won't make it. Then he asked me about selective reduction, I said no God gave me 3 I'm keeping 3.
At 11 weeks all 3 were active with strong heartbeats and measuring 3 days ahead. I loved every minute of it, the heartburn, the morning sickness. I was proud of the stretch marks and I still am it was the only home my babies knew. I loved their first movements, kicks, and falling asleep with my hands feeling them and talking to them. I loved the fat that came. I was starting to breathe easier and become excited until November 23, 2016. I went for a routine check up and they told me my cervix had opened. What did that mean? I didn't know until they told me to prepare to lose my precious little miracles. I came home and went into instant research mode, and read about the trendelenberg position. So my dad used car jacks to elevate my bed to 45 degrees to take pressure off my cervix. For days I laid upside down, determined to keep my babies safe. Nov 25 I called asking for a cerclage, with no call back, on Nov 28 I went to labor and delivery because I just didn't feel right. I was admitted. I was 3cm dilated.
I asked again for the cerclage and I was told no because there was no proof that it helps with multiples. I pleaded that even if there was a 1 % chance to save my babies I would try. I was offered Pitocin to "hurry up and get it over with". I was 18 weeks, no contraction no labor, I refused because I know you can be dilated and stay like that for months. They said there was no hope because they were not viable at 18 weeks. I cried out to everyone that would listen, they are viable, they were still healthy and active and good heart beats, that they are more than just fetuses, they are my children. They are wanted, they are needed and they are loved. They are mine and I'm not giving up hope and I am not giving up on them. 6:28 Nov 28 my water broke. My heart with it. Again I was offered Pitocin. I refused again, because I was told there was a chance after 1 was born that my cervix could close and I could continue to carry the other 2. I prayed I begged that God take me and save my babies instead. Wednesday my contractions started, I was told don't push, pushing could cause the other 2 to drop. At 4:04pm Friday December 2 my son Dennis was born. I held him briefly and kissed my perfect baby. After 60 hours of labor, all the pain meds, I passed out. I don't remember the other 2 being born. At 10:15 and 10:24pm, I don't remember holding them after they were born except through pictures. I wasn't the one that held my daughter as her heart stopped beating my sister did. I woke up at 9:30 the next morning to see all 3 in the incubator next to me, and I feel as if I had died with them. I woke up to a reality of every mothers worst nightmare. My children were gone. I held them tight, I kissed them, I prayed to wake up from this nightmare. Then the funeral home came to pick up the babies in a wooden box. I sank into the corner covering their tiny bodies because this isn't how it was supposed to be, they were supposed to come home with me.
I came home empty handed to an empty nursery and a broken heart. Milk for a baby you can't feed. Physical and emotional pain that is beyond compare. I went Monday to the funeral home, no mother should do this, plan their children services. They let me hold them one last time, I wanted to take them and run. Freeze time where it was me and them forever. I begged that they get cremated together, they spent their whole life together I couldn't seperate them. Nor could I bare the thought of them going into the fire alone. I was told they didn't survive because of an incompetent cervix.
I researched it and there is a procedure called a transabdominal cerclage that can prevent the cervix from opening too soon, which in turn means no weak cervix causes a child to die. Problem is insurance doesn't cover it, so I've called around and most insurance companies require 2 or more late term miscarriages or stillbirths, or 2 or more failed transabdominal cerclage before they cover it. Why should you have to lose so many before you can get help??? I've lost 5 in 2016 isn't that enough? I called Dr. Haney in Chicago and Dr. Fogwell in Dallas and both offer a self pay price around $7000 not including travel and hotel. I couldn't work during the pregnancy I was too high risk, most savings were exhausted to cover my time off, plus cremation etc. So why $15000? For cost of cerclage, travel, hotel and fertility meds and treatments. I have had a lot say if you can't afford treatments you can't afford the baby. But that couldn't be more wrong.
If you find it in your heart to give to help make a dream come true. I thank you. If you can only pray, I thank you because prayers are greatly needed. If you can only share, I thank you for reading this an helping to spread the word.

Gods got great things in store for me. His promises are true, He is faithful. This is my fire and out of the ashes I will rise. If you follow my fan page for updates, please be aware, I have shared pictures of my preterm stillborn.
https://www.facebook.com/5angelsholdmyheart/