Help Me Follow My Heart to Cambodia

My name is Jennifer Ka and I am a Cambodian-American performance artist/writer/educator. I recently graduated with my Master’s in East-West Psychology at the California Institute of Integral Studies to dive deeper into my intergenerational trauma and the suffering within my lineage.

Through the stress of healing and transformation, my chronic illness psoriasis covered almost 90% of my body off and on for the past three and a half years. Though I was physically disabled, I stayed in school and finished my Master's degree because I was determined to heal. I wanted to heal not just my body but also my spiritual disconnection to my ancestry and myself.

I was forced to face the darkness within my parents’ history in the Khmer Rouge Genocide to understand my the ways in which genocide continued to run through my veins, waiting to be released. I was afraid to trust and reach out to my community, but I learned to break down the fears inside myself to find support at my school. I didn’t have a choice. If I didn’t heal and ask for help, I wouldn't heal. The illness would take me over and kill me. I couldn’t see my own face.  I felt ugly and useless just like how I felt inside. My illness showed me the truth. It showed me how much I didn’t love myself, but I found the little strength I had in myself to keep living to finally see my own value.

I lived day by day to overcome my fear of being seen and heard. I stopped feeding my fears and instead I fed my courage.I began creating art, monologues, enigmatic dance, and spoken word that channeled through me to address the pain within my country, the pain of oppression, the pain of racism, and the pain of war. I realized I had a gift I needed to share with the world.

Now, I have been given the opportunity to work with my trusted friend Kalyanee Mam, the documentary filmmaker of A River Changes Course, and the environmental activist group Mother Nature to help protect and preserve my environment through their environmental media campaign. I will be documenting stories of those who are losing their land, creating my own art through spoken word, monologues, and dance to address what is happening, and collaborating with other Cambodians to fight for what is rightfully ours.

Cambodia is in danger of losing its culture, history, and spiritual roots that live within the land. As my psoriasis made me realize, I couldn’t know myself fully unless I reconnected back to my land. Within her lie the wisdom, grace and ancient traditions that may be lost. I can’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.

I am ready to fight. Ready to fight with my people. Ready to fight for my country. But I need your help. For me to lead this environmental campaign, I will need money for my plane ticket, shelter, food, clothes, and basic necessities and  my passport! I plan to live in Cambodia for a three months and possibly longer to work with Kalyanee and Mother Nature, and I will need $5000 to survive on  to focus all my attention on the work we will be doing making videos, performances, and creating campaigns.

I am really excited about this, but I can’t do this alone. My path has led me to this very moment right now. To overcome my fear of not being supported. To overcome my fear of reaching out to my community. To overcome my fear of not getting any money and not feeling worth it. But I believe it now. I am worth it.

I would be so, so grateful! With every contribution, you will be standing right there with me preserving the beauty of our country as we reclaim our power and spirit from a painful history. I couldn’t fight back then for my people, but I can now. The genocide of the land and the people is still going on and I can’t sit here and do nothing. I plan on going as soon as possible. Please, please help me follow my heart to Cambodia!

I will make sure to provide everyone updates on my trip and my journey back to my homeland!