Support the Armstrong Family in Their Time of Great Loss

I wanted to firstly say that this not "for" Sebastian Starkey as it says, he's not the beneficiary. Sebastian is my partner, my dad Luke's son in law. The reason it says it is "for" him and "on his behalf" is because his bank account had to be added to receive donations because I do not have my own bank account as I do not have any income. We share his bank account if I do ever have a need for that, like I do for this. And I could not just put his bank account on my gofundme account because it does not allow that.

My dad, Lucas Armstrong, was first diagnosed with cancer in 2020. It was colon cancer. Every week day for several months following his diagnosis he had to go to his radiation treatments. After which they were able to remove the cancer, along with most of his colon in a grueling 17 hour long surgery. Following that began his recovery, which included adjusting to life with a permanent ostomy bag, several hospital stays, infections, chemotherapy treatments, and other various issues that occurred throughout the years. That on top of twice a day wound dressing changes that, up until now, had to be done by his mother, my grandma Sharon. We later found out that the cancer had spread to his lungs, likely through his blood stream from the initial cancer removal surgery. This resulted in tumors in his lungs, and thus began another journey of radiation treatments, chemotherapy, and even more hospital stays.

Despite all of his tremendous struggles since the cancer first manifested, he remained strong through it all, and was making some progress. His cancer was stage 4, so the goal was to shrink the tumors as much as possible and keep it from progressing. His IV chemo treatments stopped working so his doctor recommended a pill treatment. There was some struggle with this treatment but he was doing better than expected with it.

That was until he started coughing.

His doctor wasn't overly concerned but said he needed to be seen if it persisted or got worse. He may have waited too long and didn't go in when he should of... He started having shortness of breath so he went to the ER on Tuesday the 6th of August. We found out that he had Pneumonia in both lungs. They drained the fluid that was around his lungs, 1 liter worth when they only expected a teaspoon worth. He was doing well until Sunday the 11th. We got a call saying we should come in to the hospital to see him because he wasn't doing very well. When we got there, things seemed like they were better, they said in the time they called and us getting there that he was doing better. We found out that the Co2 levels in his body weren't being expelled properly and it had built up far too much in his system. They were able to get his levels to go back down through oxygen therapy. It seemed hopeful despite how he was struggling. The Co2 had done its damage to his body and mind, he was very confused, disoriented, and uncomfortable. His cognition wasn't there all that much. But he was still somewhat coherent, more so at times. When leaving the hospital that day, he was able to tell me and my partner Sebastian "Be careful." like he always did every time we went anywhere. It was one of the last things he spoke to me directly.

He improved enough to come home on Wednesday the 14th after a week in the hospital. That evening, he was awake, responsive, conversational. He even ate, had his favorite drinks, and kept it all down unlike when he was in the hospital. It seemed hopeful, like he would get better. He might not get back to his normal self but we would adjust to a new normal like we had several times throughout this whole journey that started in 2020. But the next day, he only slept, the few times he woke up he was able to drink some water but was hardly coherent. It only declined from there and he eventually refused water, and then was unable to swallow anything.

As I was writing this, my brother knocked on our door and told me he passed (around 7pm on 8/17/2024), but I had originally wrote that we were keeping him as comfortable and pain-free as possible until he passed, which would be very soon. And we did, he was comfortable and as pain-free as possible.

He was only 53 years old. I'm struggling so immensely to cope, to believe this is even happening. This was so unexpected and it happened so fast. I thought this hospital stay would be like all the others. He'd be there for a few days and then he'd come back home and things would go back to normal, like they always do. This shouldn't of happened, not this soon.

My dad was part of the glue that held my family together. He was the one we could always go to for anything, advice, help, an ear, just to show something that excited us. It's been hard being on facebook because I used to send him reels of things I thought he'd enjoy in some way, it's hard coming across one and thinking "I know he'd love this/find it funny/enjoy this." It's hard taking a cute picture of our dog Ava and not being able to show him like I always used to. He was our support, our biggest supporter. The voice of reason, the light that lit up our household and lives. Seeing him struggle and suffer so much over the years with his disability that he struggled with since 2009, and then with his cancer, has been hard to say the least. He is the last person to have deserved the pain he has experienced in his life. Despite it all, he moved through all of his suffering and pain with as much grace and strength as anyone could have. He was still always there when we needed him, still a light in our lives, still the one we could always go to for anything. He was still mine and my brother's dad, still my grandma Sharon's only child, no matter what.

The pain of the loss of his life will be felt for as long as I am still alive on this Earth, and I know it will be the same for my family, and any other lives he's touched. The pain of it feels too much to bear, and adjusting to life without him will be one of the most difficult things I have faced so far in my 26 years of life. But, it is made even worse so with worry of our financial future without him. He provided roughly $2,500 worth of monthly income. Some through his SSDI benefits, some through my brother who was paid for being his caretaker, and the rest through SNAP Benefits on which my dad claimed my brother Jake and I. I'll be put on Sebastian's SNAP Benefits, and Jake will possibly go on his own or my grandma's, it will help some but it won't replace the $560 he was getting monthly. Thankfully through his SSDI we will possibly be able to have his cremation paid for. We have plans for securing more income, but it's all so uncertain and could be far in the future, for example with my SSI. But for right now, once September comes, we will be without.

We are asking for anything you can spare to help get us through this loss and uncertainty, to help support us through this and provide us with a safety net of money during this time of great need and pain. Every cent will go towards our several monthly bills, or possibly his cremation if we are unable to have it paid for by his SSDI benefits. We hope to have a little bit of breathing room for at least a few months to be able to get through without that income by having that extra money to put towards our bills. And hopefully some to put back in case of emergency.

Nothing is too little, even $1 if that's all you can spare would be so appreciated. And I can speak for my whole family when I say we will appreciate every donation and be so grateful to each and every one, big or small. We know what it is to struggle financially, to live in poverty and not be able to give much or at all. Therefore any help, even just sharing this page is more appreciated than what could be expressed.

Thank you to anyone who is able to donate, or shares this page, and also to our family that has already been very generous in giving us food and buying us groceries.