My name is Mercedes , me and my husband has had a very hard road into parenthood. Last year we found out we were pregnant with our very first baby and at 6 & 1/2 weeks we miscarried sadly. About three months after our lost we found out we were expecting our 2nd child and at just 8 weeks I found out it was an ectopic pregnancy where I was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery to remove our baby as well as my right tube. After 6 months of grieving we finally went to an infertility doctor and found out I had tubal disease and would need surgery to remove my left tube and can no longer conceive naturally. My world came cashing down but knowing at least my dream of becoming a mother may come true through IVF. We started the process, had my egg retrieval in June 2019 which only one embryo made it to the transfer stage and our very first transfer was the July 2019. Again we were faced with another lost of our child at 5weeks our baby did not make it. Yet again my world came crashing down , we’ve put so much money , faith & hope into this. And unfortunately we will have to start over , another egg retrieval , more genetic testing as well as a transfer. IVF is extremely expensive and as hard as this is. We have decided to create a gofundme to get help in making our dream of being parents not only to our angel babies but to also have children here on earth with us. For everyone who knows us knows how much having a child means to us and anything little bit helps a ton. I would like to thank anyone who can help us reach our goal and Keeps us in their prayers. I cannot wait for the day to come where I no longer wonder what my children would look like or be but be able to see and feel them not only inside of me but in my arms as well.
Dear sweet little ones who was gone too soon…
I often wonder about you. Your face shape. Your smile. The way you would have hugged or blown me kisses.
I wonder if you would have been a mama’s boy or a daddy’s girl. And what color hair I would have twirled in between my fingers. Or the color of eyes I would have gazed into while rocking you to sleep.
I wonder if I would have recognize you by your daddy’s smile or seen myself in your personality.
And I often wonder what a day would be like in which my heart didn’t ache. And I didn’t have to always try to imagine what the sound of your giggle would have been like. Or the pitter patters of your tiny feet coming towards me.
I see little boys and girls your age and I cant help but wonder. I cant help but dream. But most of all, I can’t help but cry.
Dear sweet little one who was gone too soon…
Please know that I will always wonder about you. I will always love you. And I will always hold you in my heart until I can hold you, and snuggle you, and nestle you in heaven.