William, the smallest of my triplets, was born a with a heart defect called Truncus Arteriosus. Throughout his life, he has endured 5 open heart surgeries and all of things that go with it, regular visits to the cardiologist, testing, procedures, medication, etc. Three years ago he went into cardiac arrest during an outpatient procedure. After 10 days in the ICU, he was listed for a heart transplant. Since then his health has declined, and he is no longer eligible.

When I was a child, my catch phrase was “I’ll do it myself.” I have grown up to be fiercely independent to a fault. I have been completely full of pride and those of you who know me, know that I am unwilling to ask for help in ANY way. So here goes, and it’s a big one; William isn’t doing well. During our last cardiology appointment, we learned that we don’t have further options to prolong his life.

We shifted to home school because he is too exhausted to continue going on campus. I was given time off with pay for the first few weeks because he can’t be home alone. Unfortunately, my employers laid me off since then.

I must put all of my focus on my kids.
We are having the hard conversations about life and death. Finding beauty in the sadness and loving each other as hard as we can. Everything is uncertain. We have good days, really high-energy good days, and sleep-all-day days.

So for once, I’m swallowing my pride, and it feels like giant rocks going down. So many people ask how they can help, and I keep saying “I am fine,” but I’m not. So I am asking for help with household expenses, because as a single mom, I must continue to take care of William and focus on, not only  William, but also Tharyn and Waylon because that’s what matters the most.