Help me make a way out of no way

Hi, my name is Lotta and I need your help.

I am a single mother with a son whom I love more than anything.

We have been thru some real struggles these last years and have done everything in my power to make things work and to stay with my head above water. But now it feels I have reached a point where I can´t do this by myself anymore.

I´ve been having sole custody of my son since his birth, being a single mother is a struggle financially and emotionally. But I made it work. I had a full time job, was taking care of my child, raising him by my self. My sons father and I split up early, but kept a good communication and relation during all the years.

It was stressful, and when my son got diagnosed with epilepsy when he was five years old i started to get symptoms of burnout. I kept going and did my best to make things work out for us. My main goal has always been to give my child a safe and stable environment to grow up in, since I know boys raised by single mothers are at higher risk to end up in trouble.

I got diagnosed with burnout the first time in 2015 when my sons epilepsy diagnosis came, and my sons biological father decided to leave Sweden, to return to his home in Georgia USA. Even though I was a single mother, his presence in Sweden was always comforting and he was there to help when I asked him, he was not everyday active, but on "demand" he would always step up.

I worked in a social institution with focus on troubled kids at this time, but I started to feel as if the private struggles I went thru and the struggles and social injustices I met at work started to get at me, and it came to a klimax when a close friends son got murdered in a shooting where he was a innocent victim of the increasing gun violence in Sweden. This affected me on a very deep level, and my worries and fears for my own sons future and health got very strong.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that I needed to change my working environment for my mental health, this happened after another young boy who was shot, this time a student

attending a school that was under my employers brand and care.

But, as I was changing my career and was about to sign papers for a new employment in a completely different job environment, the entertainment industry, I got diagnosed with Her2 Positive breast cancer stage 3. I never signed.

Instead I got thrown into chemo therapy, surgery, antibody treatments and radiation. This made my financial situation completely crash and the so called social security network we allegedly have in Sweden failed me completely. All this while I tried to keep a brave face infront of my son. Alone, because my cancer diagnosis came 2 months before the Covid lock down. Needless to say, going thru cancer during covid was severely traumatizing.

At this time my sons father had established a career as a truck driver in the USA and was making enough money to be able to help us out financially. He stepped up big time and was really doing the utmost to make our lives here in Sweden a bit easier to cope with. He was a big help and supported us financially so that I could keep my sons security, keeping the home, getting him clothes, he was also very helpful in raising our son, as he was getting older and I needed extra support navigating thru adolescence and communicating as a father does with his son.

In august 2024, from a severe heart attack and other complications, my sons father died. My co parent, provider and support for my sons health and future died. We talked to him hours before, so it was a complete chock.

During this time I have been trying to get back in to the labor market, I have applied to jobs, made several efforts to come back to life and to start getting a normal income. It has been hard. And still is. Eventually I started my own business, and for a year i felt as if life was finally going to be ok and we would make it after years of trouble. The work was perfect as it gave me enough money and time to take part in my sons struggles after his fathers death, and made me flexible enough to go to meetings and psychologists that has been needed for him to be able to cope with the loss.

But I got laid off around new years , and now I feel as if I have reached ways end...I am exhausted, my mind is blocked from the financial stress, knowing we might have to move out from our home with no where to go within the next months... I have lost my way and I am calling out for help for us to make it thru this time of struggle that feels like it has taken the last breath out of me. I need a break from the constant struggle financially and emotionally. I need you.

Love, Lotta