Funeral Expenses - We Lost Our Dad & Husband

Hi. Everyone! Thank you for being here and reading.

My name is Laura, I am writing this for my mum, in an effort to help her during this sad and troubling time.

3 weeks ago my step dad - my mums husband - and the father of my 10 year old sister, unfortunately passed away.

His health story as of recently, started to decline when he was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer. With success after some time this was treated and removed by surgery. Though, surprisingly during the surgery the surgeon made a mistake in which he accidentally cut through his urethra. This left my step dad with great stress and a permanent injury that could not be treated at the fault of the surgeon.

As you can imagine, discovering about the stage 4 cancer was already distressing enough, then when hope came, another burden fell upon him.

Then, soon enough another. He was diagnosed with Alzheimers. It started slow, he would forget simple small things, but of course it continued to get worse to the point where he would forget who he is, or where he was, then the hallucinations began.

A couple times, he left home without a warning, one time in the middle of the night, thinking that he was going to work. He was found in the morning by a neighbour, with his pyjamas, ID, and a briefcase, collapsed on the ground, Thankfully a neighbour rushed to bring him home, with everybody at home unaware of what had occurred. He had already been retired and not working.

His condition worsened, and then would get better, and then worsened again. Of course, this meant that he needed permanent care. To be left alone was a risk to his safety. My mum could not afford to put him in a care facility, so she and my grandmother even at times his 10 year old daughter took on the full time role of caring for him at home, which I believe was the best decision as we got to be together in the warmth of our home. Though it was at times frightening for my sister. Other times, I came to help, though I had not been home much and was not fully aware of how bad his condition had gotten. I travelled back and forth. My mum continued to work, as the sole breadwinner of the family.

Then 3 weeks ago, my step dad got sick. One doctor checked him and said its no big deal (which was false). He stopped eating for 4 days and could not stop throwing up. On the last day it became very bad, he no longer had control of his body, it’s as if his soul was very gone, just holding on by a string. That day we called the ambulance, which took about 5 hours to arrive (shocking). They took him away into the hospital.

Not knowing, that was the last moment id ever see him. All of us actually.

It was either that night, or the next day, he passed away In the hospital. My mum was on the way to see him, and we received the news of his passing. She didn’t get to see him alive. We were told it was Pneumonia.

He had actually been taken into hospital a few months before and was kept there for about 4-6 weeks before he came home. We thought it was another one of those scenarios.

My sister at 10 years old lost her father, my mum lost her husband. We all lost someone we cared for.

As you can imagine, the last year or 2 have been incredibly heavy for my step dad, mum, sister, and grandma.

Yesterday, we had the funeral. My mum thankfully received help from his brother and other son in orchestrating it which took a little bit off her hands, though, unfortunately all the costs of the funeral fall onto her, and no one else from his family is helping.

On top of that, she has lost her car and means of getting to work, which was in his name and is not transferrable to her.

As well as bills, mortgage payments and utilities which had previously been split between them. Now she worries about the future for her, my sister, and grandmother who also lives with her. She thinks she will have to leave her home because she can’t upkeep the mortgage all by herself. AND unfortunately, he had also accumulated debt onto him after all the last years tragic events. Now this falls to my mum.

I wish to do what I can to help ease all of this weight and stress for her, especially when she is grieving very deeply. At home I do what I can to help. Although financially I am not in a position to be able to help with these costs.

I want to surprise her, to bring light and a sense of hope to her heart. To offset every stressful situation that has happened over the last years to them all. Maybe if I can help to bring peace to my mum, it can also have a positive effect on my baby sister and her grieving process. She's smart, and she too feels these burdens lingering around, they affect her deeply too, and have now changed her childhood forever, it took a turn none of us would have wanted for her.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for helping if you can.

2,200 GBP (must be paid within 28 days)

554 GBP

+ anything extra that can help with mortgage, or bills, or car payments.

The rest of the costs are not known to me exactly though I will ask and update here when I can.

Any contribution, no matter how small, will make a meaningful difference.

Blessings to you! Thank you!