My name is Sarah Hendrick. For my birthday, I am raising funds to support the victim services organization in Guelph and Wellington.

I have debated for a while on raising money and sharing my story. For years, I hung out with abusive men. The cycle was endless. The emotional and physical abuse was addicting and had a powerful grip on my mental state. I was lost and in fear in what felt like a never ending story drawn to these men who treated me horribly. It led to feelings of inadequacy, an avoidance with reality and a disconnect from my support network.

On February 6th, 2023, I read my victim impact statement to a man who physically kicked me and my dog in the head. It had a profound impact on my confidence and ability to remove myself from those belittling, toxic and persistent situations.

It has been two years without contact. I carry the story with me, but I do not let it define me. It is easy to place judgement on circumstances you have never been in. Prior to these relationships, I always judged those who stayed in abusive situations with comments such as "Why would she or he stay". I think it is important to reframe it as "What is the abuser doing to make them stay". We do not choose to enter these relationships, whatever they may be, with hopes of being abused. Rather, it feels like an entrapment in your mind. You stand in the mirror, reflecting, knowing that you are being treated poorly and you regain hope in those glimpses of kindness, soft words and manipulation.

My goal with this fundraiser is to increase the support for victims in domestic violent circumstances. The judicial system often favors the abuser. There needs to be more structure and advocacy for those who can not fight the battle alone. The funds will be donated to the unit in Guelph to aid in putting stronger systems in place, counseling/therapy, safe and secure housing and help with navigating the court system.

“Simply put: your brain, in its attempts to protect you, doesn’t want you to change. With this in mind, it’s not surprising then that it takes most victims of abuse an average of 7-12x times of trying to leave before they actually do.”

Stand by those you know in any violent situation. Listen. Offer a soundboard which is safe. Refrain from asking questions that lessen the victim's morale. Love deeply and meaningfully.