2 Corinthians 5:7
That is a bible verse I have held close to my heart throughout this three-year infertility journey. Heartbreak and disbelief are some of the emotions you feel on a three-year battle. Infertility is a nasty word; couples that are trying to conceive a child never want to say, “Our diagnosis is infertility.” But that is us and this is our story.
My husband and I have been together for eleven years and married for four. We waited a year before we decided we were ready to begin our journey to parenthood. We decided to “not prevent” and give it a whirl. Our first miscarriage to me was the worst. I scheduled a yearly papsmear and the nurse asked me, “Are you pregnant?” I paused and told her no and hurried off the phone. I then started thinking…wait maybe I am pregnant. I never thought it would happen so fast (it seemed that way) when we were not “trying.” I had extreme cravings for salt and vinegar chips with greek yogurt ranch. I hurried home and took a test! When I saw that big fat positive, I felt like I had hit the lottery!! I instantly started planning on how I would tell Will. I made this video slideshow of pictures with quotes and verses about Will becoming a father. I showed him the slideshow and he couldn’t believe that we were actually pregnant. We were so happy! We anxiously awaited the first appointment! The doctor routinely makes you wait for an ultrasound to where you are 8 weeks pregnant according to your monthly cycle. During the wait, I bought books for me and Will and a book that tracks the progress of your pregnancy. I started writing in it, posting pictures in it and it was so exciting! At the appointment they found the yolk sak and couldn’t find the heartbeat. They pushed my due date back for the first time. At that point they said it was too early and we didn’t think anything about it. I thought well I do forget a lot and maybe I was off on the date for my cycle. After the first appointment we invited our immediate family over and put a cute little sign I made on our dog Sadie that said “I’m going to be a big sister.” Everyone was so surprised and extremely excited. We even showed our family the “Will becoming a dad slideshow.” It was a wonderful day! I even let the news slip to my close friends. They showered me with little baby gifts that were so precious. I even purchased Baby Einstein books to read to our future child. Then we went to our second appointment…still no heartbeat. They pushed my due date back again. They rescheduled for the next week…I started bleeding the day before my appointment. Our world came crashing down in June of 2015. We tried the medicine to pass the baby on our own and that wasn’t fun. I ended up having to have surgery to remove the remaining tissue. After surgery, I had complications where I had to be out of work for two weeks. Then the first medical bill came in the mail…$6000 out of pocket we owed to the hospital.
Since then we have had three more heart-breaking miscarriages, an endometriosis diagnosis, loss of one of my tubes, two laparoscopic surgeries, a precancerous mole surgery, a lengthy job layoff and Will had a pressure washer accident and had to have two surgeries and almost lost his finger/hand. These last three years have really tested our faith with God and each other. Infertility for a long time period stirs up all emotions of the spectrum. We have done our best to remain positive and keep our faith that God will carry us through all of this. We truly believe everything happens for a reason and that God would not give us something we could not handle. I feel like God wants to use me as an advocate for women who suffer infertility in silence. This is a topic many do not talk about openly. I am hoping our story will touch just one person and give them the strength to keep pushing forward.
We are so grateful for our families and close friends for being there for us when we needed you. We will forever be grateful for the kindness and compassion you have shown us in this extremely difficult time period of our lives.
We have made the decision through doctors recommendations as many of you know to move forward with IVF with PGS screening (genetic testing). This is a three and a half month process. IVF is our last hope of having a baby on our own. We have spent over $18,000 in medical bills and treatments over the last three years and are currently paying monthly towards $15,000 in medical bills. The costs associated with IVF are extremely overwhelming. What many don’t know is that insurance covers very little for infertility and IVF. The cost for one round of IVF with PGS screening is going to cost us close to $18,000. We were very hesitant to accept the offer of help from our friends and family. They understand how overwhelming this process has been for us. Being so public about our story broadcasts extremely personal business for everyone to read. We feel that God wants our story to be used to help others. Will and I will keep pushing forward and we know all of the things we have been through will be worth it in the end! Bless you all and please pray for us in the months ahead!
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