“She could be home by Christmas”
We are still in shock! It has been years up to this point. I have sat here, looking at this Go Fund Me page for hours, wondering what to write…afraid to start and may not be able to stop…am I saying enough? Am I saying too much?
“She could be home by Christmas” our agency says
The little girl we have dreamed about is waiting for us and once the judge signs off on our paperwork, we are on our way to India. India?!? Sure, we went on a cruise to Mexico for our honeymoon but other than that, we have never left the states. Now we will be heading to the other side of the world to pick up our daughter! How did we get here?
For those of you who don’t know our story, my name is Jennifer. My husband, Sean, and I are high school sweethearts and have been together over half of our lives. Throughout our relationship we faced many adventures and challenges together. I can’t say we went through anything different than most people. We simply took on life’s ups and downs, side by side, resting in our faith and growing as people do.
However as the years went on, we kept facing a very familiar challenge with many tears- the desire to grow our family. It never really occurred to us, that we would be faced with fertility issues. I suppose you don’t really think about it, until you are faced with it. We tried so hard to have children which led to endless doctor appointments, multiple fertility treatments/procedures, surgeries and miscarriages. The physical and mental toll was heavy as life just seemed to continue on around us. This went on for many, many years (before and after the birth of our son, Mason) as we were determined not to give up on having a large family. We felt that if the Lord put the desire in our hearts, He can take it away…and He didn’t! We knew it would all be worth it. After all, we had our son, Mason, who forever changed us. However with time comes age and after several failed attempts, my body just couldn’t take any more. So at the end of 2016, with continued prayers and no clear answers, we decided to stop all fertility treatments. During this time, we remained thankful for our little family of 3 and in that, we found comfort. But what we didn’t know, was there was a bigger plan for our family and the road to our daughter would reveal itself soon.
In early 2017, two lines from “First Response” changed our direction, entirely. Surprise! We’re expecting and without the help of fertility meds/procedures! We were beyond thrilled and could hardly contain our excitement but sadly it was short lived. We lost the baby and with it came so many questions we thought we buried. Why is this coming back up? Is there another child out there? At this time, our best friends were in the process of adopting. We were walking alongside them through it. We heard all the details. We saw the toll it was taking on the family. We saw the delight in their eyes when they would get an update. We saw the struggle for funding. We saw the love of a Mom and Dad who just wanted their babies home. We had never been so close to the adoption process…and for good reason! All along adoption was growing in our hearts, we just didn’t see it. Until a car ride back from a family vacation that summer.
It started with a conversation. You pretty much talk about everything on a 7 hour drive. One thing led to another and we found ourselves talking about our family. Were we truly done with having children? We knew physically it was almost impossible. Then I recalled a conversation I had with my girlfriend who is adopting. She asked if we ever considered adoption and I told her “if the Lord opens that door, yes we would adopt”. She then straight called my bluff (I know some of you know who I am talking about here and could totally see her doing this). She said, in this country you cannot adopt without a home study unless your sister, or someone you know, straight gives you their baby. So if you are going to say “if the Lord opens that door”, you have to have a door there for Him to open…which is your home study (I am paraphrasing but that is the gist). In sharing this with Sean, I knew she was right. We always felt in our spirit there was another child, it just never occurred to us she was waiting for us to “get” her as opposed to “have” her. It was at that moment, Sean said (with that Sean smirk of his) “what’s another $1,000 for a home study. Let’s see what God does with our door”.
One thing led to another and just a few days later, we found ourselves, sitting with a good friend who happened to be a social worker. The thought of adoption frightened us a bit but as we learned more about it, we realized we didn’t know much at all! From domestic to international adoptions, from open to closed, from the chronological age of a child to our age (we are not Spring chickens here). But with all of our questions, God provided us with an indescribable peace like we had never experienced before. So after the endless amounts of paperwork, we continued on towards adoption and with that, on April 25th, once again our lives changed forever. We were matched with our sweet baby girl and it was at that moment we knew...it was her…it was ALWAYS her! We didn’t have her yet because she wasn’t born yet. It wasn’t God saying “no”, He was saying “wait”. He was leading us all along but we were too busy following our own paths.
Between, the moment we realized the journey that stood before us to now, so much has happened (I will save it for another entry). But through it all, we ended up right where we are supposed to be. He knows the desire of our hearts and He is filling it in ways we could have never imagined for ourselves.
“She could be home by Christmas” her parents, Sean and Jennifer, say
UPDATE 12/20/18: She may not have been home by Christmas but she was legally ours by Christmas!!!! We hope to be traveling in January. Stay tuned!
For information on our puzzle fundraiser, select the READ LATEST UPDATE button (below). You can also follow along on our journey via Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1750577428577491/
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