For those of you who may not know me, my name is Grace Minakowski and I am the daughter of Lisa Anne Minakowski. I’m a recent graduate of Huntingtown High School and the last of our family’s children to fly the coop for college. And, for those of you unfamiliar with my mom’s story, she passed away in March of 2021 after a recurrence of breast cancer. Her strength was unparalleled.

“Your mom is always with you.” I can’t think of an event this year—my last cross country meet, my last high school theatre performance, my last prom—where I got through without having this phrase repeated to me, usually by a well-meaning friend or relative. But, every time I heard those words, all I could feel was frustration. How could that possibly be true?

For me, every milestone I hit—every milestone that my mom would never be there to see—was a step further from the life I once had with her. I was marching toward college and adulthood (I even had to take myself to the doctor alone) and leaving behind the version of me who was helpless without her mother. Despite the guilt that succeeded, I didn’t think of my mom when I received my high school diploma or blew out birthday candles on my 18th birthday. In those moments, my eyes were set on the future. And, usually sometime in the days that followed, I scolded myself for being too forward-looking and questioned whether apathy could coexist with grief.

Many of my mom’s friends memorialize her through the image of a butterfly. A symbol of new beginnings, the butterfly reminds us that starting new chapters is an essential and unavoidable part of life—that no butterfly can form its wings without shedding its caterpillar status. As I reflected on what it means to both move on and keep her spirit with me, I couldn’t get this image out of my mind. The one thing my mom would have never wanted for me was to spend my life trying to remain a caterpillar out of fear of what becoming a butterfly meant. I wasn’t supposed to be the 14-year-old girl she left me as. Rather, I was supposed to blossom into the woman she sacrificed so much during her time on earth for me to become.

As I enter this next chapter, I don’t want to waste any more time trying to turn back the pages in my life’s story. Instead, I’m challenging myself to celebrate my mom’s spirit and inviting you to join me. For 7 days starting July 7th (next Monday), I’ll be taking on one task each day that embodies the principles and values by which she lived. We’re calling it “The Butterfly Effect” Challenge, and each day’s post on this Facebook page will include a brief reflection on the meaning behind the daily task. We encourage you to share your thoughts, memories, and feelings in the comment section as you follow along and to pass this along to someone who may need it.

We are also celebrating the close of our 3rd annual selection process for the Lisa Anne Minakowski Memorial Scholarship, having given over $10,000 to college-bound students over the past 3 years. Should you like to donate, you can do so using this donation link. For information about other donation methods, please contact [email redacted].

I am so excited to hear your personal reflections as we embark on this short journey together.