Hi! I’m Jackie Hill, 60, and a widowed mother of 3 young adult children. Never in my life did I ever imagine I would be in my situation or having to ask people for money to pay my living expenses or my daughter's medical and moving home expenses. I’m a bit of a talker, so this may be long…

I had thought the worst thing to ever happen in my life was when my husband died of cancer in 2013, but being informed in early January 2024 that Jessica (26) was found unresponsive at home and rushed to Intensive Care was worse. Rushing from where I live in Northern California to where she lived in Southern California, seeing her with a traumatic brain injury, on a ventilator and unconscious, unable to walk or use the toilet, not knowing if she would live, was worse.

She gained consciousness, got a tracheostomy and gastrostomy tube (G-tube), and was sent hours away from her home to a sub-acute nursing home in the desert, where she has been since January 27, 2024. She has slowly recovered from the traumatic brain injury, but she still has issues with memory and function–she calls it her Swiss cheese brain. She is slowly relearning to walk and use the bathroom. Her tracheostomy was removed, and she’s breathing well with only mild issues and no longer has the G-tube but is on a mechanical soft food diet.

Her mobility recovery has taken much longer than expected with some setbacks. She has gotten infections and other health problems while at the nursing home, but the worst is her kidneys. She had an infection when she first collapsed in January but has had problems with her kidneys ever since. The week of November 5th, she had to be transported via ambulance to a hospital for treatment for infections and stones in both kidneys. She ended up having nephrostomy tubes and bags surgically implanted in both her kidneys, then sent back to the nursing home.

Jessica has been mostly alone during her recovery. I visit her as often as I can, but it’s only every few months as the nursing home is at the opposite end of the state from where I live. She’s 527 miles or an 8 ½ hour drive away. I can’t exactly pop over for Sunday dinner. I don’t make a high income, and my retail work hours were reduced prior to the holidays and don’t appear to be picking back up. I’m looking for other work, but it’s slim pickings.

I also don’t have just Jessica but I also have 2 young adult sons that live with me. My oldest son has ADHD and does well on his medication. He works and does his best to help me at home, but my youngest son has Autism with NOS Mood Disorders and Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Unfortunately, he is medication resistant, so none of the 30-odd medicines or combinations of medicines he's tried in his life have helped him. He has gotten very good at trying to identify his triggers, but sometimes it just happens, which is difficult at best to live with.

I have just turned 60, but I had a lot of health problems and complications prior to that. Turning 60 has just amped up my arthritis and slowed me down somewhat, although I’ve tried not to let it. I can’t afford to! I didn’t choose to get a good education in my youth–I didn’t get good grades, so I wasn’t encouraged to learn. I was steered towards work, which is what I did after high school. I worked hard, had a secretarial job I wore a suit to, and thought I had it made. I got married, 5 years later we had our 3 children, and life was good, but money was always too tight. I had been a stay-at-home mom with my first son, but after my 3rd child, I had to get a part-time job to supplement my husband's income. But we never could make paying for daycare or babysitting work–it was costing us even more money for me to work, so I stayed home. For years I was a stay-at-home mom. I tried working off and on over the years, but my son’s autism was too much, so I stayed home, but money was always short, and there was never enough for extras or vacations, etc.

When my husband retired, I thought we would have a little breathing room, and we did for 1 ½ years until he was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer and died 22 months later with no life insurance. My bottom dropped out, and I tried to pick up the pieces, but so much time had passed being a mom that I couldn’t get work anywhere. I tried for college courses, but I had trouble finding funding, grants, scholarships, etc., and I didn’t want a loan I couldn’t afford that I would pay on until my death. I got part-time jobs here and there, but not enough to pay all the bills all the time. I have grown up without and lived my entire life without it, and my kids too.

I finally landed a part-time job at a local retailer, and things looked up for a while. I had gotten on MediCal for health insurance for myself and my youngest son, so I was able to qualify for being a home care worker for my youngest son due to his mental health conditions–so there was a small amount of extra income each month. Money wasn’t flowing, but I was able to just make ends meet, as long as nothing broke down–which it always did.

Then January 8th happened, and Jessica collapsed, and my life stopped. I flew the first 2 times to see her, and between the plane, motel, and renta-wreck, I was able to borrow enough to cover those expenses and then play catch-up with the bills when I got home. I drove the next two times, which was somewhat less expensive without the plane trip but still costly when I had no sick/vacation time to use. I had to take unpaid time off and still pay catch-up with the bills. I sold everything I owned of value–including my wedding rings. I have put nearly everything of mine in my home up for sale online and in yard sales at least 2 or 3 times, and what hasn’t sold, I gave myself permission to keep, although I need to put together another sale soon.

A few months ago, I had my MediCal canceled because I made $49 too much income. When they canceled the MediCal, my in-home care income for my youngest son was terminated. Through looking for another job and new insurance (which I’m not getting because despite what California claims, I really can’t afford it), my retail job began reducing hours, and even though we’re heading to the holidays, my hours aren’t increasing.

Now Jessica may be coming home to live either in my house (a rental duplex) or to a short-term nursing home. I have late rent to pay and so many bills to pay, multiple vehicle repairs to make, hospital furniture to address Jessica’s needs when she comes home, plus the expenses of going to pick Jessica up from her nursing home.

Jessica also has things stored in the townhome she shared with her (now) ex-boyfriend before she collapsed, so I have to rent a UHAUL in Southern California, load up her belongings and furniture with the help of her older brother, then go to her nursing home, load up her meager belongings from the home, and bring Jessica home!!

I am beyond blessed to have the opportunity to bring Jessica home in a mostly healthy state. She has a few miles to go in recovery, but she’s light years from where she was, and she’s ALIVE, so it’s hard to ask for more than that, isn’t it? But I have to because I just don’t know what more to do short of asking people for help. As I said, I never in a million years thought I would have to ask people for financial assistance. But my family is in desperate need of financial help that I cannot provide them. I dream every night that there is help for us out there–I just have to humble myself and ask.