Surrogate journey

Hello everyone!

After already receiving several messages           asking if we’re accepting donations for our surrogate journey, Rich and myself have decided to go ahead and set up a go fund me account for anyone who is interested in supporting our journey, but may not be able to attend our event! Below is our story, if anyone is wanting additional details as to why were asking everyone for help in raising money to something so near and dear to our hearts, please feel free to contact myself or Rich. Thank you guys again for all of your support, whether it’s donating, sending positive thoughts our way, helping with our party, and even attending. We’re already so appreciative of everyone who has reached out to help us out!

As most of you know, I have always been open about my cancer journey, and post cancer journey. I am forever thankful for all of the support I have received from family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and even strangers throughout the years! Part of why I have always been open about my cancer journey is because my type of cancer, melanoma, can be so preventable and I want to educate as many people as I can in hopes to save the lives of others from the beast. I vowed that I would always use my story to help change the minds of those who don’t think that melanoma is a deadly cancer, because it is. I am lucky enough to be considered stable disease now for five years. But not without 6 surgeries, two types of cancer treatments, and a weakened immune system leaving me to do immune infusions to remain healthy, scans ever six months, and a lifetime of worry that the beast can return at any time. And I am now facing the hard truth that I am just not safe enough to carry my own child.

During my cancer treatment in 2014 I decided not to bear my own kids in the future for two main reasons. First and foremost, melanoma never truly leaves someone’s body, there is no such thing as remission. We can be ‘no evidence of disease’ or ‘stable disease’, but that just means melanoma cells are microscopic and not traceable with CT or PET scans, therefore, I would risk melanoma coming back and metastasizing again because the immune system suppresses during pregnancy. The second reason being that melanoma can be transferred to my unborn child in-utero. Despite being fertile and able to carry my own children, this decision devastated me, but I could never put myself or my child at risk. It has been a gut wrenchingly heart breaking decision, but I know it is also the safest decision. In 2016, after multiple fights with my insurance company, I was finally able to preserve eggs.

In 2017, after several years of focusing on my health and my career, I met Rich. He has changed my life in so many ways. Immediately upon getting to know each other I let him know of my cancer history, my journey, and where I stood with having kids in the future. Luckily, he didn’t run the other way, because let’s be serious, who talks about these sensitive, and important topics while just getting to know someone? Well, I felt I had to, because immediately I knew that Rich and I had this connection that could change our lives forever. He immediately wanted to know more about my cancer, my journey, and was open to this possible future we could have if things worked out. I found my soulmate. I can’t forget to mention, Addie, his daughter. She was 16 months when we met. I am lucky I have been able to help co-parent her with Rich, it has filled this void within me because I have always longed to have children. He has allowed me to love, support, and teach Addie in every way possible, and for that I am forever grateful. But I still deeply yearn to have my own biological child with Rich, and I am even more lucky that he has been so supportive and open about this journey with me.

Unfortunately, insurance companies do not pay ANY portion of the surrogacy process, and therefore, we must absorb the financial burden to continue this path. Rich and I both thought it would be a great idea to throw a “surro-babe” party to help defray some of the out of pocket costs associated with the surrogacy journey, and most importantly to be surrounded by friends and family to celebrate our friendships, our health, and our future child.

Love,
Heather and Rich