Support Tyler and His Daughters After Lauren's Passing

This fundraiser is for my friend Tyler who lost his wife, Lauren, recently. He and his 2 daughters need our support during this time as they process their grief. Tyler was his wife’s full time care taker while also caring for their children. Below is a message from Tyler about his wife Lauren’s final days.

Please donate what you can! Let’s support our brother in his time!

Hello everyone, on April 24, 2025 at 5:08 PM. Lauren passed away and it’s been a rough week since Lauren has been gone. I just wanted to make an update so people can see through my eyes the time leading up to Lauren passing. I know it's a long update and it's not proofread either but please read it fully. This all started the week prior to her passing away. Please understand as some of the details might be a little off or even missing some details. The past couple weeks have been very difficult to deal with and very stressful so my memory is a little rough.

If I’m not mistaken, it was around the weekend of April 12 and the 13th when Lauren and I were talking about closure and fulfillment for her during this time. It was very stressful, very heart wrenching and difficult to talk about but I’m glad we did. But also, we talked about some last-minute fulfillment items that Lauren wanted, and one of those things was going to the beach, even if it was super hard and having everyone she loves here for her when the time comes for her to pass away.of course, I agreed and said I will do my best to give you what you want.

In the beginning of the week which was the 14th, 15th and 16th I started noticing a little bit of change in Lauren, a little more confusion, and more difficulty just moving. Whether that’s to turn on her side to get more comfortable or to get her to the bathroom. I was getting a bit concerned through that time and I was talking with Lauren about how she felt at the beginning of that week. She expressed that she doesn’t feel normal, and she doesn’t feel like herself and these feelings she had were like, what I can assume based on how she explained it, It's kind of like a separation between her physical and spiritual self. She started to get more physically uncomfortable. She couldn’t explain how her body felt, almost as if she couldn’t feel her body the same. she started feeling the disconnection and numbness that comes with the body shutting down with this information that she was explaining to me. I asked her around that time of the 16th how do you feel about where things are going with you? She asked in reply. How do you feel about it, honey? And I replied if we can get you to the beach that Saturday and celebrate Resurrection Sunday, I truly feel that you would pass shortly after. She agreed and said she felt the exact same way and my heart was heavy in that moment to give my wife what she wanted. As we are planning to do the beach trip, we were gonna go on that Friday, but because it was supposed to be rainy and cold we were a little concerned about how cold it was gonna be and scheduled for Saturday. All I knew is that we were gonna do it if she said let’s go we were gonna make it happen regardless of weather!

On the 17th and 18th of that same week I started noticing a big change in Lauren, more frustration and irritability, a lot more tiredness and weakness. I could only imagine what Lauren was actually feeling knowing that her body was giving up on her. But she still kept the peace that God has given her. In that time she tried to stay focused on me and the girls and trying to make it to Saturday for a beach trip but by the end of the 18th that evening time-Ish, she was feeling like the beach might not happen because of how she felt, so now the trip it was up in the air and I let her family know and those who were gonna go and if we go to the beach on the Saturday 19th, it would be a last-minute thing at that point I was super nervous that Lauren wasn’t gonna be able to get to complete her last wish. I was ready to do whatever necessary to get her there when she gave me the okay. So leading up to that night going to bed and we prayed, we watched some SpongeBob with the family and went to bed. On the morning of the 19th, I kid you not what I saw as a blessing, Lauren woke up with gusto. She had a bit of energy that we haven’t seen in a little while. She looked at me and said I wanna go to the beach. I was like really? she said absolutely! I was like okay! I’m gonna let everybody know so I sent out a message to everybody and everybody was ready to go. There were some setbacks but everybody was coming. I then proceed to look up the location. We were going to Oceanside Harbor where they have a beach wheelchair that Lauren was able to use. Then I checked the weather and it was a beautiful day. It was 5° warmer than what it was supposed to be and it was sunny. It was a perfect shift that allowed Lauren to get her wish. I was stoked and she was too.

So as we started getting everything together and getting her ready to go to the beach, it took us a while. She needed a lot of breaks. She was very tired and very weak, but determined every time we got her moving to get dressed or do anything, she had to be on her oxygen and take a rest. When it was finally time to go, which was at about 1:30pm we carried her to the car, packed up the vehicles and headed out. When we got out to the beach to finally set up and hang out as a family. Lauren was super excited Super happy and full of joy with that peaceful spirit she’s had through all this. The peace was overflowing. We got there about 4 o’clock and we were able to stay for two hours. During that time she enjoyed watching her kids digging in the sand, playing in the water, hanging out with family and just having a good old time. Lauren was taking pictures talking, hanging out with the family and enjoying herself. She tried to eat a little bit. Just keep in mind throughout this whole journey there has been a lot less eating and drinking than almost none. so the fact that she was trying to do that, she was really enjoying and trying to have a normal time at the beach for the last time. My heart was joyful, but heavy at the same time knowing that my wife is having a great time, but this was the last time I got to go somewhere with my wife and that hurt. I was so happy she was happy as the day was going on and it was time to pack up and leave. I was able to get her back home before I had to give her her next set of medicine through her Broviac line which we did every four hours. After I gave her her medicine when we got back home, she was super tired and fatigued. She tried to get as much sleep as she could throughout that night that Saturday, so she would have energy for resurrection Sunday. Sunday morning came along and it was kind of a late start, Just because of the day before.

Some family came over to enjoy the time with Lauren. We got her outside to watch the Easter egg hunt and have a little laugh and throw some confetti eggs. I was grateful that she was able to throw some too, which was cool and fun and took a lot of energy out of her though. The family was having a great time. She was having a great time. We heard the Elote guy coming down the street and I asked her if she wanted one, even though she wasn’t able to eat anymore, she said yeah! I was able to enjoy one of those with her as I watched her try to enjoy a treat she never denied. She was only able to eat a couple bites, but she still enjoyed it. After that most of the day was pretty much done because of our late start. When I got Lauren back inside, she was laying down on her bed in a praying position with her hands Together And I couldn’t help myself to take a picture. My oldest daughter Adaline came in and said mommy and woke her up and said were you praying to Jesus. Mommy said yes and I showed mommy the picture and she was like, “wow” because her hands were together like she was praying while she was actually praying in her head. After that point it was time to just relax and end the day as everybody went home, we relaxed more. I talked to Lauren a little bit with what energy. Just seeing how she felt and she felt very complete. She felt fulfilled and she said at this point she had all the closure she needed!

The start of that next week, on the 21st I noticed a dramatic change in Lauren's speech, understanding, and movements. I talked with Lauren about how she felt and she expressed that it was time to start telling everybody that she’s ready to let go. I told her okay, I understand and she didn’t want me to be upset or angry or sad. She wanted me to be able to accept what was happening because she was accepting it, and I told her I understand, sweetheart, and I accept this. It’s just hard to let go of the person that I was supposed to spend my entire life with. We had another 40 years to go but I accept this, it still hurts though. So much! But I am here for you and I will do whatever you need me to do. So I sent everybody a message and called people and let them know that Lauren’s ready to let go and that it doesn’t look like she has more than a few days left.

Now as Monday the 21st was ending. Things were starting to go downhill a bit quicker with all the symptoms she was having. The signs of her body shutting down were going way quicker and this continued into Tuesday the 22nd and I was getting really worried. I was there for her as much as I could. The girls and I were trying to watch SpongeBob with Lauren, but mom was dozing in and out a lot. Mommy was just going through it!!! She was talking in weird ways, mumbling now, starting to pee in her diaper, which she didn’t wanna do. She was having some fits, trying to get up to go to the bathroom and just collapsing on the floor a lot, which is typical with somebody at the end of their life. These things continue to get worse that night. That night wasn’t that great going into Wednesday the 23rd and it was getting harder. She was breaking down faster and there were only a few moments where I was able to have a small conversation with Lauren. Although, through all that, she did like to have her chocolate milk and Dr Pepper which she tried to push through and have the entire time lol! But, as Wednesday was continuing, there was a lot of emotion and a lot of scared feelings. I was breaking down, crying a lot, having a rough time as I am right now telling this story! My wife, all she did, even in her pain and suffering, when she knew me or the girls were falling apart, there was a burst of protection or survival. I don’t know what you would call it and she said come here, Let me hold you and I would ask her are you still at peace and she said, yes! I am scared for you guys, but I am at peace. She's mentioned this multiple times and even when it got hard, for some reason this part of Her stayed very aware and always looking out for us, even to her last breath. By the end of Wednesday the 23rd I knew something was gonna happen. I can’t remember if I mentioned that Wednesday or the day after on Thursday, But that it’s time for people to be here if they want to be here for Lauren, because she is going to pass soon.

Wednesday night into Thursday was very rough. We had no sleep. Lauren was babbling, swinging her hands so I knew things were getting worse by 4 o’clock in the morning. I believe when I gave her her medicine I told her to just use her diaper to go pee. She was a little reluctant but she did and when it was time to go back to sleep or try to sleep. Lauren said First, “I have to get my keys.” then “I have to get my pants on! I have an appointment, Remember! I have to leave!” I said okay sweetheart, but just rest for now. When I heard this, I knew it was time as the sleepless morning continued on, I believe by around 7 or 8 o’clock am. I asked her if I could cuddle her and she said yes. I would like that! I cuddled her for a while and just kept her company. I tried to stay there as long as I could, but I started getting antsy as time went on through that morning. I got up and got the day started and my mom was here at the same time. She stayed the night with us. Lauren said she had to pee again and so we checked her and she peed so much. She peed through her diaper, filled two chucks and soaked the bed. At that point I knew her bladder and kidneys had shut down. Around 10 or 11 o’clock Ish. I started noticing a dramatic change in Lauren's pain, discomfort, and uneasiness. She said she couldn’t fill her body much and everything was uncomfortable and numb and so I asked her if it was time for sedation? she said yes! I repeated myself again. Is it time for sedation sweetheart for sure? she said yes! I proceeded to ask it two more times a total of four times, asking her if she’s ready for sedation and she got frustrated and said yes! I said okay, beautiful! Then I asked Are you ready to go see God? she said yes! At that point I couldn’t hold my composure and it was really hard to speak, but I called Hospice Care and let them know that Lauren wanted to be sedated. It was time! Unfortunately, because of the time I called, we had to wait a while to get a nurse here. They said they had to make a few calls to get somebody out here to evaluate laurens for sedation. Immediately after the phone call, I looked over at Lauren and Lauren was mute! Her eyes shut, breathing started to become sporadic around this time. Also, Everybody was starting to show up and by around 12 o’clock we knew Lauren was going to pass away as time went on. I kept calling the doctors to get sedation. Over a period of three or four hours, Laurens heart rate spiked and stayed at 150 bpm the whole time her breathing was rough. Her eyes were shut. Her body was pale. Her body was getting stiff and tense. She no longer had control as those 3 to 4 hours were going on I called the doctor a few times and I had to sedate her with what they use, which is Ativan so we increased the Ativan and we did back to back one after another per hour and at that point when we finally were able to get a hold of the nurse who was supposed to com. The nurse said he’ll be here around 5pm. At this time Lauren Heart was still pounding. Her Chest looked like it was going to explode from breathing so hard.

At around 5:05 The nurse started getting her hooked up to check her vitals and by 5:07pm when the nurse was hooked up, immediately, Lauren let off the biggest breath I’ve ever heard her do! At that moment, my heart dropped just as heavy as her breath and I knew it was it! Once her breath was out, Lauren’s eyes shot open and her face dropped and I knew this was the last time for her to see my face in the flesh, before she sees the Lord! SO I HELD HER HAND AND I GOT RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER, AS THAT LAST MOMENT OF SIGHT HAPPENED, I TOLD HER, “ YOU DID GOOD BEAUTIFUL! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!” By 5:08 PM she was pronounced dead, but I knew when she saw me for that last time, she closed her eyes and saw her savior Jesus Christ.

Immediately after when she closed her eyes for the last time, I wept so hard and felt so broken, the only thing I could do was touch every part of her body and cry over her. At that moment I tried to keep the feeling of her in my hands as long as I could. The weight I felt in that moment felt like the most painful moment of my entire life, and that I lost the most precious gift God could’ve ever given me and that I could never hold it again. I wept and wept until my heart felt like it felt out of my chest, and I had to take a moment for myself outside as her family and friends stood by her after her passing the time went on throughout the night, where I was just trying to grasp reality, I was thinking and feeling numb.

At 9:00 PM that night the funeral service people showed up. When they came into the house with everything. My mom asked me if I am going to be okay watching them bag her up and I told my mom, I AM GOING TO DO IT! So I asked the people if I could put her in the bag and I did and they let me. After we got her on the gurney, I asked if I could carry my soul mate, my beautiful wife, my partner, my gift from God out to the van PLEASE!? I can do it! They said yes so I carried her out and I put her in the van. I feel in my heart that it was a way of honoring my wife and honoring God. I know her spirit has left her body, but God presented her and gave her to me in my life. I felt the right thing to do to honor her, and God is by giving her back in that manner. So by about 9:30 pm that night she was gone and the surreal feeling of this unimaginable burden sat in my heart, and still tugs on my heart to this moment, and will sit in my heart for a long time!

I know this was a very long update, but I appreciate all of you who have stuck through this journey and taken the time to read these updates and be involved. I appreciate and love all those who have been here for us and that have made it a point to love us unconditionally, and support us. I do apologize once again for some of the details might be a little off and might not make sense, but I did my best with the scrambled brain that I have at the moment. I love you all. God bless you all, and God bless my family.