Support Timothy and Family in Their Time of Need

God has laid it on my heart to be honest and real. So much of what we see on social media is curated in perfection and I think some people have lost sight in understanding that it's okay to not have it all together. It's okay to be terrified and cling to faith and prayer more then ever.

A few years ago Timothy and I decided to trust God completely with expanding our family allowing God to gain all glory, praise, and honor from the children we would have that we knew would be dedicated back to him. We decided to give God complete control, from our finances to my womb, all of it, we surrendered. Because we knew the children he allowed me to carry to full term would be used for his kingdom along with our angel baby. We knew the children we birthed we would raise to worship our Lord and praise his holy name. We knew the conviction was real and that God kept telling us we couldn't compartmentalize the areas he could reign while we controlled the others. We battled breaking addictions, breaking materialism habits, breaking anger, breaking generational curses.

We didn't know then how beautiful but difficult it would be. When I say everything is a spiritual war it is, everything that could go wrong absolutely goes wrong everytime I get pregnant, I literally know how infuriated hell is everytime we have another baby...so much that Satan tries with his all his might to destroy everything. It appears everything falls apart everytime we have another child. If it hadn't been for our church family and our parents, I don't know where we would be.

To losing jobs, almost becoming homeless multiple times, vehicle repossessions being right around the corner (thankfully God has intervened), late bills, taking out loan after loan to just afford to make ends meet, putting numerous items back in the grocery store because I nor Tim didn't have the funds to cover them, maxing out credit cards, my dad and bonus mama buying us diapers for the first year of Adah's life because we couldn't afford them, my mom and bonus dad feeding us numerous times a month to providing me gas to get Abbie Gene back and forth to therapy as well as many other things, to Timothy's mom and papa(stepdad) helping us in so many unexpected ways (to many to list them all), to all of our parents helping get the big girls clothes and school supplies last year so they wouldn't feel less then, to our church providing Timothy with instruments to use for worship, to our church stepping in and helping with the girls so he continue to worship on our praise team, to our church helping provide.

And while all of this was going on, nobody would know about it.

Our family struggled in private in confidence of God and our families and church.

But people would judge us, speak so negatively, and screenshot and spread lies and gossip about our family more then I would know could be possible.

So many people speak so negatively because of our family size.

I lost numerous "friends" in the most difficult time of my life.

I lost many opportunities because the will of God is more important.

There were so many people that strived to destroy our marriage.

I fell deep into depression, so deep.

And here we are pregnant again, I have been officially diagnosed with Hypermesis Gravidarum, I've been on medical leave from work for right now, meaning no pay currently, I've been to the ER numerous times for fluids, Adah was sick in the ER and at Children's for days. Timothy is working as hard as he possibly can but life and the bills are all piling up. We can't afford to live again but here we are waiting and praying. We don't know where our next meal comes from, if I will be able to return to work, we don't know where we will have the funds to continue to meet our insurance deductible, and where we will live in a month from now, but our God is greater, and he will provide.

We know God will provide, he always does. And he always uses the most selfless people in his kingdom to help us.

It's okay to not have it all together. It's okay to take one day at a time and cling to prayer and worship.

When you are deep in the trenches, God hears all of your cries, remain steadfast for joy comes in the morning. Our God is greater and the enemy can not destroy want God has created. Our family isn't our family it's the Lords and I know he is no where near finished with our story yet.