Support Tigger Lunney's Legal Battle for Family Stability

Hey y'all, Tigger Lunney, everyone's twelfth favorite punk rock librarian here.

The short(ish) version:

For the past two years, I have been in the midst of an incredibly difficult divorce. For the entirety of the process I have been operating at a massive disadvantage financially due to the differences in income between my ex and I which has caused me to go into huge amounts of debt.

Throughout it I have worked to find a fair and equitable resolution and making what’s best for my two amazing kids who live with me 50% of the time my top priority. I did so while finishing full time grad school and getting a job in the Library world, which I've dreamed of for years. Unfortunately, despite best efforts, at this point the divorce is going to have to go to trial, which is both unusual and extremely costly.

I often say I’m rich in people, not in my bank account, and that has never felt more true than right now. Not enough money, too much heart. I hated even setting a goal here. I cannot expect the friends and friends of friends reading this to bail me out of my situation, which has already cost me over $50K and will probably cost close to that much more in trial.

But every little bit helps, so I am checking my pride and launching this GoFundMe. My amazing friend Syd made the cute collage of Scout and I. (Cute of Scout, at least.) If you can give, I promise you it will be money spent on doing everything I can to get a fair and equitable outcome to ensure my kids are getting their needs met in safe, stable and healthy environments.

The tastefully written backstory:

Nearly two years ago my ex-partner and I made the mutual decision to end our marriage. We did so (at the time) amicably. We had 26 years together, 23 married, two fantastic kids, and issues that had proved insurmountable despite therapy and everything else. But I believed that we could find a way to a fair and equitable resolution because the kids and the history were more important than the issues. We said we were going to show our kids that loving families can happen in many forms. I believed those words then, and still believe them now.

It is unfortunate that things have not worked out that way.

I was maybe too optimistic about our capacity as individuals to do what was needed to achieve that ideal. Suffice to say, the divorce process the last two years has been very difficult and a fair and equitable solution on key things is going to have to be decided in court.

In Minnesota it is very rare that divorces go to trial. Instead, you invest time, energy, and money in trying to work things out first between lawyers and mediators. With that comes moments where you have to accept that certain things that seem fair and ethically right aren’t going to happen because that’s not how it works legally. On my part, I have had to let go of some things, despite how important they felt, or how unfair it seemed. I have instead chosen to remain grounded in what’s in the best interest of our kids.

Unfortunately, we still have to go to trial.

I have no interest in being negative here. I still want everything to work out for everyone in a fair and equitable way, so that the kids can continue to live in stable, safe environments. The definition of that differs significantly between my ex and I, and it’s going to end up being up to a judge to decide which one makes more sense.

I remain incredibly proud of my ex for the work she does and the immense success she’s experienced. I also remain incredibly proud of my contribution to that success and the many years I supported her financially, emotionally, and practically, prioritizing the kids and her career over my own as she achieved her career goals. I am also grateful for the support that my family provided us over the years when things were tough, which I now have to repay.

Despite how hard and sometimes traumatic the last two years have been, I have done everything I can to move my life forward while trying to do what is best for my kids. I finished full-time grad school with the best cumulative GPA of my life, got a job in my chosen field, and am working every hour my employer will allow. I give 110%, take challenges head on, and know that every day I do great work and open up future opportunities for myself. I’m glad my Dad lived to see me on this path even if my Mom did not.

I’ve done all this while showing up for two awesome kids (now teenagers!) 100% of the time, whether it's the 50% of the time they’re with me or not; my Dad dying; raising a puppy the size of a small dinosaur; and having to deal with the constant work that comes with a very complicated divorce. I have had to borrow extensively from my family and friends, run up credit cards, nearly let the home the kids grew up in and we currently live in fall into foreclosure, and wreck my credit. My parents, who have now both passed away, were middle class educators from working class backgrounds who made some good decisions about money, but the debt from borrowing from them over the years is significant and has to be repaid to my family. Dad's will is not going to be resolved until next year, and anything left once I've squared things with my family I swore would be saved for the kids.

It’s been clear for a while that fundraising would need to happen. I hated the idea. I’ve avoided doing so for months. Too much guilt. Too much pride.

But that time has come. Too much heart.

Give what you can. Thanks for even reading this far, y’all.