Support Sam and Tooli's Journey to Parenthood

We are raising money to help protect our marriage and make our dream of becoming parents a reality. And we'd love your support.

Tooli’s Story

I know I was born to be a mom. I've known that for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, and my younger brother was born, it felt as though he was my firstborn child, with the deep connection we had and still have. I loved loving him, caring for him in a way that went beyond being just a big sister. That deep, innate sense of nurture and protection is part of who I am. The knowing of the desire to be a mom has run so deep, and is one of the main reasons I know is why I am on this earth.

Sam’s Story

When I was realizing I was queer back in high school, one of the hardest parts was understanding that my life would not be like I had once envisioned. I knew I could never have a biological child with my partner and that having children would be harder for me than for most other couples. It was a lot to carry in my 16-year-old body.

But through it all, one thing has never changed: I have always been a deeply nurturing and loving person. Since I was a kid, I have taken care of others, always wanting to make people feel safe, seen, and loved. Becoming a mom has always been my dream, even when I didn’t know exactly how it would happen. Now, as my wife and I take steps toward starting our family, especially in today’s political climate, all the emotions from my past are resurfacing. But so is the joy and deep knowing that this is what I am meant to do.

Why We’re Asking for Support

Since 2022, we've faced a lot of challenges that have delayed our parenting journey. Life has been hard for us on many levels, and if you know us well, you know what's been happening behind the scenes. Through it all, we’ve been doing the emotional, mental, and relational work to be in the best place possible for our future child. We've had to put our dream of starting a family on hold longer than we wanted, but we are ready now and we don't want to wait any longer. We deeply believe in the power of community, and we’ve been incredibly grateful for the ways our people have shown up for us in the past few years.

We are now moving forward with two big steps:

1. Securing Legal Protections for Our Marriage and Family – In a political climate where LGBTQ+ rights feel increasingly at risk, we want to ensure that our marriage is legally protected in every way possible. The legal documentation we need will cost $3,000. Once our baby is born, we will also be seeking either a declaration of parentage or a second-parent adoption to ensure the non-carrying parent has full legal parental rights no matter what happens with state or federal laws or where we travel. This will involve additional legal paperwork and fees, though we don't yet know the total cost.

2. Starting Our Family Through IUI – We are beginning the process of conceiving through intrauterine insemination (IUI) with a sperm donor from a sperm bank. None of this is covered by our health insurance, so we are paying entirely out of pocket.

It is also common to need multiple rounds of IUI before a successful pregnancy, so we want to be financially prepared for that reality. Each round will cost:

• $1,900–$2,400 for a sperm vial (plus shipping)

• $300 for the procedure

We know in our hearts that we are meant to be parents and meant to do this together. In November, we attended a sweat ceremony to usher us into this next phase of our lives, and we received a powerful message affirming that parenthood is in our path. We know our child is a soul who is ready to meet us in human form, and we are incredibly honored to be their parents.

Any support you can offer, whether through donations, sharing our story, or simply holding us in your thoughts, means the world to us. Thank you for being part of our village and for helping us take these next steps toward building our family.

With love and gratitude,

Sam and Tooli