Support Robyn, Maxine, and Zachary

Dear friends and family of Gabe and Robyn,

I recently had a chance to catch up with Robyn about her life, and Maxine and Zachary. I had 2 immediate thoughts after catching up:

Everyone who knows and loves them would LOVE a detailed update (read below! and for some heartwarming pics see this photo album)

It must be extremely hard for Robyn to manage - I have a 5 and a 2 year old so I’m very aware of the energy and time requirements. There are surely some friends and loved ones who would be very happy to help support her again.

On that note… Robyn has decided to get a live-in au pair for a year, which will hopefully allow her to carve out some free time and mind space. She plans to get licensed as a lactation consultant and prepare to re-enter the workforce. An au pair sounds like a brilliant idea to help the family set up for the future, and help Robyn be fully present for the kids while also getting things done. She was matched with a woman from Naples, Italy named Meryem, who arrived in late February! In the short time she’s been here, she’s already proving to be a competent, nurturing person that is the perfect fit for Robyn and her family and just the help they need.

So, I am sending this outreach to anyone who may want to contribute to her au pair costs. The upfront cost of the au pair program was $11K, so I put that as the goal - but you may also just think of it as a late holiday gift to the family - whatever the total is will be a huge help in enabling Robyn to manage the financial portion of having an au pair as she continues to work toward finding her groove and footing.

If you prefer, you can also just send directly via Paypal (we can't include here so please ask for account info) or Venmo to @lillynilly. Or feel free to reach out to Robyn (or me) if you want to contribute in a different way.

And please feel free to spread this far and wide to anyone who may have been touched by Gabe or Robyn!

Final note is a personal share: I think about Gabe often, often in two situations. If I have an everyday experience that’s awesome for some subtle reason, I think of Gabe and how he would fully appreciate it (in his understated way). Or, when I see something odd and funny about the human condition, I remember that I’d send to Gabe for his interesting or hilarious perspective. I’m sure many of you have your own ways large and small that you remember him as well.

Thank you so much for reading and supporting Robyn, Max, and Zak.

Much love-

Cody

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A note from Robyn:

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Dearest Friends and Family and beyond,

I wanted to share a snippet on our post-loss life.. It’s impossible to explain everything, and I come up quite short sharing it in writing, especially compared to Gabe, but here’s a go at it.

First off, Maxine, Zachary and I are together and healthy. I remind myself often what a gift that is. After living in Chico with my incredibly supportive and loving family for a little over a year, I felt strong enough to make a move to a beautiful spot on the Central Coast called Felton; it’s a small mountain town just 15-20 minutes north of Santa Cruz. We are surrounded by majestic forest with Redwoods, easy access to nature, the beach, school, and lots of fun stuff to do along with a sweet community of neighbors and friends. I feel lucky we’re getting to try this place out. Will it be our landing spot? I don’t know. But as of right now, despite the challenges and very hard compromises of not living closer to family, I feel it’s a really important time for me to process and learn how to live this life I was given. I struggle with and am wanting to be able to increase my quality time with Maxine and Zachary as it’s hard for me to manage day-to-day life and think about their needs and wants while planning for our future and managing my own energy for it all.

It’s hard to believe, but Maxine is now FIVE; she learned to ride her bike, which she is very proud of. She is learning the piano and currently her favorite song to play is “Oh, Christmas Tree”. She's also working hard on “Silent Night” and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”. She taught herself “Frere Jaques” by ear which I’m always so impressed by. She loves to be silly and be tickled. She insists on playing the same game we have played since she was about 2 when getting out of the bath, being a ‘talking burrito’ wrapped in a towel. Oh, and she absolutely loves popsicles, just like her Dad. We always had some in the freezer and that continues to be the case now.

Zachary, Zak for short, is 2 ½. He is a ball of joy and energy. His physical capabilities are impressive for someone who’s only been here for 2 years. He also just learned to ride a bike! And he loves to climb anything and everything and run, run, run (which is a challenge when trying to do something in public!). For the past several months, he screams anytime we see a construction truck or cross a bridge that reminds him of a train bridge. He’s so loving and generous with his hugs and kisses, which especially helps when he’s put an entire roll of toilet paper and random toys in the toilet. He is also very enthusiastic and willful about helping to cook - his scrambled eggs are delicious! After I crack the eggs in the pan, he takes over from there (with supervision of course) adding the salt, pepper, and stirring, stirring.

In the last six months, I have seen Max and Zak’s sibling bond and relationship grow which is extremely sweet to witness. Both of them love to build and they have built some mighty impressive magnatile houses, castles and tower trucks together. They also have spent plenty of time fighting and knocking each other's creations down too, but I guess that’s all part of the sibling bond! They both continue to love books and one of my favorite things is when Maxine ‘reads’ (from memory) a book to Zak, it melts my heart. I see Gabe in them both on the daily - from his looks, to his spirit and joy and even how he thinks (I see this in Maxine too!). He would be absolutely over the moon for these two beautiful people.

It definitely isn’t easy, but I continue to put one foot in front of the other and try. I often think about the immense amounts of support I have received throughout these past several years and am forever grateful and in awe of anyone in my situation who could do this with any less. I appreciate you all. THANK YOU. And a special shout out to friends and family that helped us with all aspects of moving - from moral support, to talking it through and actually getting us here to helping us unpack! Thank you for reading and please always, always feel free to reach out to us - it’s been hard to carve out time to reconnect with a lot of friends, but I'm hoping there's an opportunity to do that this year. I wish I could give you all a big hug. Much love.