I'm a proud Mimi of 8 beautiful grandchildren. I have an amazing son and 3 sweet fur babies. After a bad marriage, I swore I'd never marry again. Then I met a sweet southern guy and became best friends. We did everything together and soon fell in love. After waiting for me for a few years, he finally wore me down and I agreed to marry him. I was happier than I had ever been. For 14 years, we stood by each other through thick and thin, making wonderful memories along the way.

This past year was a rough one. It seemed as if the world was against us at every turn, but he would always say not to worry because we are a team and we love each other. I've always had the worst Christmases. Death and divorce plagued them. This Christmas, however, had promise. I even decorated the house and did all my gift shopping early. Three days before Christmas, it came crashing down on me hard. My best friend and partner came home from a hunting trip, sat down in his chair, and told me we were over, packed a bag, and left. I, along with our families and friends, was shocked. None of us had a clue this was coming. I know that sounds strange, but it's true.

Due to the rough year, our savings were gone. I didn't have a job or money in the bank. He supported us while I helped take care of Dad, who battled cancer, and a mom who was sick and couldn't drive. My previous job of 15 years ended due to the owners wanting to retire and closing up the office. I wanted to go back to work, but family care came first. I am looking, but with arthritis in my hands, back, and neck, I'm a bit limited. But I'm tough and know the right job is out there. I love working. I'm not lazy.

I have to move and I need funds to move, some furniture, pet food and care, and to pay my bills till my paychecks come in. I know it's a lot and I'm terribly embarrassed and humiliated. I just don't know what to do and I miss my best friend and the safe place he gave my heart. I miss dancing with him. I guess I always will. I miss the joy of Christmas I had so many years ago. Our grandchildren are all under 8 years old. They adore their Papaw. They are heartbroken that he left. I hope to make a happy home for them to come visit and sleep over with their favorite snacks and movies. They are amazing.

I'm OK with being alone as I grow old. I just never thought I'd have to. If you read all of this grandma's ramblings, I thank you and wish you well.