My name is Jon, most of you know me as an extremely talented artist, creative visionary, and philanthropist, but you may not know that I am also a tireless crusader against greedy corporate developers and criminal nuisances with illegal automotive businesses in my neighborhood. Although I am something of a hero to my neighbors, sometimes even heroes need help.

Recently the house behind mine was purchased by a corporate real estate investor who kicked out the long-time single mother occupant, and began building a two story ADU (accessory dwelling unit), with the intention of turning the home into a small apartment complex. After enduring over a year of loud construction 6 days a week from morning to evening, I am left to contend with a tacky, artless structure towering over my yard with a single window peering down into what was formerly a private sanctuary.

My initial idea was to erect a pair of flagpoles with a banner bearing an offensive slogan on it to block the window's view, but it turns out California has laws against such a thing. Plan B is to plant 15' tall clumping bamboo, strategically placed to protect my privacy. Since they built the window so close to the property line, not much will be able to be seen from the window besides leaves. While my aim is primarily restoring privacy, if this should happen to turn potential renters away from the property, I will consider that an added bonus. Unfortunately, the costs of this endeavor are a little more than i can justify spending to indulge my pettiness. That's where you come in.

What I am looking for from you is a small donation to help me cover the costs of purchasing the plant and having it delivered to my house. I will be digging the hole for planting myself. I know that times are tough, and there are probably a lot of people who are more deserving of financial assistance - if you have to choose between supporting this project or someone in a more dire situation, I beg you to give your money to them instead... but if not, help me fight back against this greedy, souless developer's cash-grab project.