Support Evan's Fight for His Dad's Freedom

My name is Evan Rees, and I want to share some personal thoughts about my dad’s current situation. My mom made the decision to place my dad in a facility for Alzheimer’s care. While I respect her role and the responsibility she has, I believe my dad may not yet be at a point where this type of care is necessary. He is understandably upset about being there and feels that the decision was made without sufficient consultation with the family. Growing up, I was fortunate to have a loving and supportive father who was always present for my sister and me, attending every event and giving us unconditional love. Recently, however, I’ve been struggling to understand some of the decisions my mom has made regarding his care. For example, when my mom took my dad’s keys away, I voiced my concerns, and in turn, our relationship became more strained. Since then, I’ve had difficulty communicating with my mom about his well-being, and I feel that I have been kept out of the loop regarding key decisions related to his care. Five months ago, my mom placed my dad in a care facility without consulting me or other family members who live nearby. I only learned about it after the fact, and I’ve been trying to understand the situation better. When I first visited the facility, I had a few questions, and one of the staff members told me that my dad’s wife (my mom) had not been visiting him as often as expected. My wife and I have made a point to visit him regularly, but after a few visits, we were informed by staff that my mom had requested that our visits be supervised. I’m concerned that my mom’s actions may be preventing me from spending quality time with my dad, and I worry about the impact this might have on him emotionally. I understand that my dad’s condition, which includes some short-term memory issues, might not yet require the level of care he’s receiving. He still has the ability to communicate with us and talk about his feelings and memories. While I understand that more intensive care may be necessary as his condition progresses, I believe that he could be receiving more appropriate support at home with the right assistance. My wife and I, both long-standing educators in our community, are trying to find a way to provide a better environment for my dad’s well-being. However, since my mom has power of attorney, I’m encountering obstacles in getting my dad evaluated by a third party to assess whether home care might be a viable option at this time. We are beginning to look into legal avenues, including potentially seeking power of attorney ourselves to ensure that my dad’s wishes are honored. My wife and I are committed to doing everything we can to help him, just as he has always done for us. This letter is part of that effort, and we are also looking for advice or shared experiences from others who have navigated similar challenges. Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any advice you may be able to share.