Support Baby Griffin's NICU Journey

I have gone most of my adult life thinking I couldn't have children. I went 37 years without ever having a scare. I thought I was damaged until one day I felt unusual and couldn't explain why I felt so strange. I took a pregnancy test like I had done so many times before, not expecting anything from it. To my surprise, it read back to me as "pregnant". I was in complete and utter shock as I texted my boyfriend and mother telling them what I had just found out. I immediately contacted my endocrinologist, and they set me up with a high risk OBGYN at KU Med. The very next day I had an appointment which clarified that yes. I am pregnant and I was about a month and a half along. I was in a daze and thought I was dreaming. The following months consisted of numerous appointments and ultrasounds. I was making sure to take as good care of myself as I could, but I just kept getting sick and had complication after complication. We got through Halloween and Thanksgiving. As we approached Christmas, my body had just completely failed me and my boy. I was admitted December 19th with pre-mature birth. I was lucky enough they were able to stop it and I was dilated 3 cm. They were afraid I would give birth any moment, so I was unable to eat as they kept a close eye on Griffin. That Sunday I found out I had COVID 19 and pneumonia. It was utterly terrifying. The only thing that helped me sleep was to listen to my baby's heartbeat. I wondered how my body could fil me and my child so horribly. I was beside myself. Christmas Eve morning, my doctor came in and told me that they had to get him out of me or else the unimaginable would transpire. I said yes immediately because I wanted my baby to be saved. I didn't care about me; I only cared about him. I was absolutely terrified and alone. At 11:08 the doctors successfully retrieved my baby boy and he was immediately intubated. Ever since then, he has been at the NICU at KU Med and now at the MICU in Children's Mercy. I never thought I would go through this, and I never thought my child would be in the NICU for 4 months and counting. I have never been as stressed, sad, scared, happy, anything like this. With my added-on health issues, I assume due to the stress from all of this, I don't know how I have made it this far and have still worked full-time (but have been in the hospital numerous times the past few months). I am struggling mentally, physically, emotionally and financially/ Asking for help is something I don't do. I usually wait until I am in such desperate need I am embarrassed to ask. Anything helps.