Support a Loving, Caring Fathers Fight for his Daughter

Chris van Schalkwyk is organizing this fundraiser.

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Hi everyone! Thank you for taking the time to read this and be part of this mission for my daughter.

I’m going to try and keep this concise and brief: 2013 I was diagnosed with an illness rendering me infertile. 2019/2020 I started fertility treatment and in mid-2021 I was blessed to know my (then) Fiancée was pregnant. Our beautiful daughter was born in March 2022. I took off work for the next months after our little girl was born to support my fiancée at home, make life a little easier and bond with my daughter. My fiancée’s family opted to not be at the birth of our daughter, and only visit a few weeks after she was born for a few days.

About 2 months after the birth of our daughter, my fiancée said she wanted to visit her family, who live about 850km away. This would mark my first time being away from our daughter. My fiancée left on the Friday and was supposed to return the Monday. After receiving a chilling call from my fiancée to say they will never return home, as she (my now ex-fiancée) has decided that we aren't meant to be together as lifelong partners anymore. Sadly, 6 May 2022 would have marked the last day to see my daughter at the time.

Shortly after, I travelled to see my daughter and to speak to my ex-fiancée, to try and reconcile to save our relationship. We came to the agreement that she and our daughter would fly to stay with me for half the month in my house, all at my expense. In January 2023, she decided that she and our daughter will not be traveling to my residence anymore to enable me to spend time with and bond with our child. She insisted that if I wanted to see our daughter, I had to go to their remote town, 850km away.

I communicated with our daughter via video call on a daily basis. After a while, my ex started refusing daily video call contact, which was never a problem after she decided to separate. Our average video call time is an average of 15min daily, but my ex decided daily interaction with our child is too much. She then lessened our video call time to every second day, recently once a week and often times ignores my calls completely. Sometimes days go by before I’m offered the opportunity to speak to and interact with my child.

To visit our daughter in the remote town, costs me upwards of R12,000.00 (€630) monthly for one 4/5 day visit. She has also decided that our daughter is not allowed sleepover visits, vacations or trips with me and my family alone. This is after our daughter was 9 months old and was allowed to spend time alone with myself and my family during the day.

My ex-fiancée is making it physically and financially impossible for me and my family to build a strong and healthy relationship with my daughter. She and her new partner started traveling a lot. If their travels overlap with my visitation, her reasoning is that if I want to see my daughter, I must travel to wherever she is (whether I’m able to afford it or not). We don’t have a custody agreement, so this allows my ex to change our visit dates/locations at the drop of a hat, to whatever she sees fit. Which sometimes means that it’s impossible for me to see my child due to work commitments.

I’m at my wits end, emotionally this is taking a big toll on me and my family. I’m in the process to file for a custody agreement and a parenting plan with the high-court, as the magistrate application for assistance with a parenting plan is not going anywhere. My ex refuses to mediate out of court, even though I’ve tried on numerous occasions with the help of both private and state officials to set up a parenting plan. My only problem is, I’m struggling to follow through with everything as the costs are far greater than expected. Not only do I now have to travel additionally for court dates, but my legal team’s travel and consultation fees add up to be astronomical amounts.

My end goal is to ensure that my daughter can grow up in a loving, well-balanced and safe environment with a father that is present in all her life events and can grow up knowing her extended family that love and adore her. I am determined to fight for my daughter's right to a loving and balanced upbringing. I firmly believe that children thrive best when both parents are actively involved in their lives. I have worked tirelessly to support my daughter, often at the expense of personal time and comfort, because I only want the best for her.

I am determined to fight for my daughter's right to a loving and balanced upbringing. I firmly believe that children thrive best when both parents are actively involved in their lives. I have worked tirelessly to support my daughter, often at the expense of personal time and comfort, because I only want the best for her.

My legal fees are estimated to be approximately R250,000.00 (€13,000.00), which includes travel back and forth to court as my daughter’s permanent residence is in a different province.

All funds will be controlled by a legal entity and proof of all expenses to be provided if requested. Any support would be deeply appreciated. Your generous contributions will help with:

Legal Fees: Covering attorney costs in the high-court
Filing Costs: Filing fees with the Sherrif and other related expenses
Mediation Costs: Covering mediation preparation and related fees
Ensuring Due Process: Addressing the gaps in due process to ensure fairness in uniting families
Our Daughter’s Future: Working to get the fair process our daughter deserves

I truly thank you and appreciate every donation coming forth, no matter how big or small, as this will brighten my daughter's future and increase her bond with me, her father, and my extended family. Being able to have my daughter stay overnight on a regular basis in the home that I built for us, will truly mean the world to me. I again thank each and every one of the contributors to this great cause.

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