I'm a Mother of three adorable, loving, good-hearted children. A boy and two girls. How I came to this is a bit of a tragedy, though.

Sit back and relax as I tell the story of my troubled past. Don't you want to know everything?

My upbringing gave me the stronghold I carry to this day, something I am underestimated on quite a bit... A wild spirit with a free heart, that's ME!

I raised my son on my own from 2010 until now. He's 15 years old now and his father has been absolutely NO HELP whatsoever. In fact, he tainted him. I always left the door open for my son's father to decide to be more present in our son's life but he never cared enough to step up and neither has his family. Most people don't even know we exist. I endured physical, mental, emotional, psychological abuse from this man on an almost daily basis when I allowed him in my bubble and so I eventually decided it was better to move forward with our lives (just me and my son). I had to get a PFA. I got full custody of my son and set up child support since his father was a non-participant. He never wanted a relationship with his son if he couldn't have one with me.

Then I met James in 2014/2015. We started our relationship off very slowly and really got to know each other. He was very attentive with me and he knew that I was guarded but he didn't know why. We merged our lives over time and became pregnant together in September 2015. We had a lot of trouble with the community we lived in at that time. It seemed like no one wanted to see us happy. We attended church weekly and gave our tithes. Maybe our joined light was too bright for others to cope with ... We were harassed and singled out but our love was stronger. We fixed up my mobile home that I'd been stuck with while single parenting with little to no child support. I worked my butt off those years and wasn't even present for my son because all I could do was work to try to make more money so we wouldn't have to live in a trailer park. Then my middle daughter came. She was born in 2016. The proof of the love that James and I shared for one another. We were great at co-parenting. We worked together for the better of the children. Finally, harmony. It was so nice to have a teammate. James accepted my son as his own and we were a family. It was all I ever wanted.

In 2019 James and I started growing apart a bit and we decided to start to unjoin our lives... This was sad for me but something I accepted because to me, our individual growth as people was more important. When my son's father caught wind that James and I had "broken up" he rushed in and tried to romance me in my broken and confused state. I allowed it because he was doing everything he should have been doing all along. Taking us out to dinner, putting gas in the car.. you name it. But something was still off. It was my intuition telling me he has other motives behind his kindness. One night in late 2019, we had an intimate encounter in which I was in a position of vulnerability... He ejaculated in me and then smiled and said in the coldest way possible "sorry Mamaz, Daddy came in that p*ssy". I was shocked because we had talked about how I was not on birth control. I had made an appointment to get on it again coming in two weeks... He didn't care. It was planned. He wanted to catch me before I could! And he succeeded. I became pregnant and announced that early in 2020. Covid came and James stopped coming around to see his daughter because where he was living at the time, some of the household members had gotten Covid. My relationship with my son's father dwindled because he got what he wanted. To impregnate me again. He thought that if he succeeded in getting me pregnant again, not only would that be a slap in James' face but it would make me look like a liar. Like that PFA should have never been enacted. The next several months my son's father reminded me exactly why I stopped communicating with him before. It was a nightmare.

May 2020 came and I was having a terrible pregnancy. Alone. Couldn't sleep at night. Uncomfortable. High blood pressure. Single parenting while pregnant. Everyone left me. Then I got a phone call at 11pm on May 6th, 2020... It was the hospital. James was there and I was his emergency contact so they called me. The woman on the other end made it seem urgent and asked if I could come. I declined noting that I had two sleeping children that had school in the morning so I called James' son and told him to go there instead because he was closer. That's when I learned James had been hit by a car and succumbed to his injuries. He was dead. My heart shattered at that very moment. James knew I was pregnant by someone else but he was still willing to accept me AND the new baby. The love we had for each other was stronger than all of that! So when I found out he died I was CRUSHED. Now I was really alone.

On May 11th, I went to an ultrasound appointment to determine the sex of the baby I was brewing. I hadn't told my son's father that James had passed away yet. He went with me to the ultrasound appointment. The nurse put the sex of the baby on a piece of paper and slid it in an envelope and when we got to the car we decided to open it. It was going to be a girl. I was overwhelmed with emotion (since the last time I had felt this was when I found out the sex of my middle daughter) so I decided to tell my son's father that James had passed away 4 days ago. He didn't believe me and made me show him the obituary on my phone. When I did, he then said "that's what I wanted to happen" and it was a silent car ride after that. How could he say such a thing? About the man who cared for his son when he opted out?!

I went into protection mode from there on out. I was on autopilot survival mode. I had my last baby in late summer 2020. My son's father decided he was going to be present for that birth and awarded my daughter his last name. Now I was a single mother of 3. On my own. No help. Like I was with one, only now there were three of them. And one of me.

I've been trying to get out of the hole ever since. Finances aren't there. The economic downturn hasn't helped. I have undergone some major health struggles that I dare not to talk about. And in my heart I want to be somewhere else... Somewhere I shine bright and am recognized for all I've been through... Somewhere I am appreciated for choosing to do the right things and raise these children to the best of my ability and more even as a single parent. As a domestic abuse survivor.

I need to move for many reasons...Please help me get out of the hole

I haven't been able to get out of! I don't get food stamps and I don't get child support either. My son's father moved away and stopped paying only because he knew I've always wanted to live elsewhere so all he did was do that before me so he could throw it in my face.

We deserve love. We deserve support. We deserve PEACE. We deserve Justice!

My wish is that we become pillars of light in our community. I want to set up shop somewhere new. Somewhere my past can't find me. The funds will be used to get us out of dodge. We are valuable people and we have so much to offer in the right setting. Please help us relocate.