Hope & Healing for a Mother Escaping Abuse

Aloha!

I created this GoFundMe on behalf of a dear friend I met on island. Due to the severity of her case, I am keeping her identity hidden (I will refer to her as H), but I want to share her story.

About seven months ago, H approached two of my friends and me on the beach with more bravery and vulnerability than I’ve ever witnessed in another human. She came to us shaky and alone, asking if she could share her story in hopes of finding someone who would simply listen. I had no idea I was about to hear the story of the strongest woman I would ever have the privilege of knowing.

TRIGGER WARNING:

This story involves domestic violence and abuse. Please be mindful of that before reading on.

H met her husband in 2021 and quickly fell in love. They got married and soon became pregnant with their incredible daughter. What she didn’t know was that moving to Hawaiʻi for his job would place her in the most vulnerable and dangerous situation of her life. The man she thought she knew began abusing her the moment she got pregnant. A switch flipped, and from that point on, she feared for her life every single day.

The domestic violence she endured over the next few years is unfathomable—something no human should ever have to go through.

From severe bruises, scratches, ripped-off fingernails, to a perforated ear drum resulting in hearing loss, strangulation, and countless other hospital visits—she remained silent until she realized it was likely a life-or-death situation for her and her daughter.

Outwardly, their relationship looked like any other spontaneous, romantic, and loving marriage. But behind closed doors was a pattern of cyclical abuse, love-bombing, manipulation, and countless “I’m sorry”s. The stress while pregnant led to labor five weeks early and a premature baby in the NICU. By the grace of God, H was able to bring her beautiful baby home after a few weeks. After the birth, amidst postpartum, her husband isolated her to her home so severely that she could count on her hands how many times she had been to the beach in nearly three years of living in Hawaiʻi. She never had guests over, didn’t have a community of women to walk through life with, and eventually shut down mentally.

When we met her in October 2024, she was finally at a place where she knew her only choice was to move forward with divorce and pressing charges. What’s happened since then is a heartbreaking example of how the system fails domestic violence survivors. A temporary restraining order (TRO) was granted but repeatedly broken for months before a full order was put in place. Her husband manipulated her through a court-mandated app that allowed constant contact. Despite over 30 photo-documented injuries, multiple police reports, hospital visits, and clear emotional and mental abuse—he was sentenced to only seven months. Of the 14 charges, he pled guilty to five and will walk free in just a few months.

Although he is currently incarcerated, H still has a long road ahead. She has not been granted sole custody of her daughter, and the divorce is not finalized.

H was promised financial support starting the moment he was incarcerated, but she has not received a single payment. Her patience has been spread thin and there have been no answers as to why she has not received any support. Her car is being repossessed, and her lease is up in two weeks. She’s being forced to leave the island—the place where her daughter was born and where she’s finally begun to grow a community over the past seven months.

H is single handedly the best mother and strongest person I know. She has navigated through this unimaginable time with grace and resiliency, always putting her daughter first. I have been abundantly blessed by her sweet friendship and perspective on life. She puts others before herself in every single circumstance and is the kindest, most joyful person. Earlier this year, she made the decision to be baptized and I know that the Lord is using her story in incredible ways. She embodies the Aloha Spirit and it breaks my heart knowing that her experience on this island was taken away from her.

The next few weeks are going to be incredibly hard on H and her baby girl. With no financial support, she has completely run out of money and has been relying on food banks. She also has 2 dogs that mean the world to her, but she currently doesn’t have the funds to bring them back to the mainland. H is being forced to pack her home and go back to her hometown until she can find a job and place to live. She is going to need more legal support but doesn’t know how that is going to be possible.

I have been privileged enough to walk alongside H during this time, and that is never something that I will take for granted. I’ve learned so much about the resilience of domestic violence survivors navigating the legal system. It is enraging how difficult it is for victims to receive justice, and I’ve been deeply humbled by witnessing her strength firsthand. From escaping abuse to simply trying to stay afloat, H hasn’t even had the chance to begin processing the trauma she’s endured.

I’ve been praying about how I can best support my sweet friend during this time, and now I’m asking my community and anyone who feels called to help. H would never ask for money herself, but I know any amount of support would be life-changing for her and her daughter. Whether it’s $1 or $100, you’re offering them hope. I am confident that the Lord will provide abundantly whether that is financially, emotionally, legally, or in ways we can’t yet imagine. And if you’re not in a position to give financially, I ask for your prayers: Prayers for a miracle. Prayers for hope. Prayers for peace. Prayers for justice.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read H’s story. If you feel led to give, share, or pray, please know that every single act of support makes a difference. You are a part of helping rewrite the future for an incredible mother and her little girl.

With love,

Harper Owen