On December 6th, at approximately 1:00 p.m., the Virgin Islands Water and Power Authority (WAPA) experienced yet another island-wide blackout on St. Croix. Hours later, one of our most critical pieces of infrastructure — the Henry E. Rohlsen Airport — went dark right along with the rest of the island.

In first-world countries, airports are the last facilities to lose power.

But not here. Here in the Virgin Islands, we are first-class in the Third-World business.

The St. Croix airport — already known for having the worst arrival experience in the Caribbean — lost power too. Yes, the same airport with no greeters, no AC in baggage claim, potholes on exit, taxi drivers wearing St. Thomas shirts, and a burning landfill on the horizon… was now completely dark. Visitors and residents stood in silence, waiting to hear their names called in the dark to retrieve their luggage.

Then, on Tuesday, the Virgin Islands Port Authority (VIPA) revealed the plot twist of the year: the generator ran out of fuel, and the pump required to refuel it only works when WAPA is online.

You can’t make this up.

So, we laughed.

We cried.

Then, we cried some more.

Because this is truly embarrassing.

VIPA is horribly mismanaged, losing $30 million a year, and hasn’t completed an audit in four years. Meanwhile, we all know WAPA is going to have another island-wide outage any day now.

And let’s be real:

All the federal money 'done gone'.

So nobody can pretend there’s a secret pot of cash left to fix any of this.

So the idea is simple:

Let’s start a GoFundMe to donate fuel in case VIPA ever needs it — because clearly, they need the help.

And because we as a community cannot afford unreliable power and a horrendous airport experience in total darkness.

Where Your Donation Goes:

$1 – One “Lawd, help we” whispered into the sky.

$5 – A gas can of fuel

$10 – A reminder to check the generator

$20 - A limited edition Dowe-recommended personal fan

$25 – 7 minutes of runway lighting

$50 – 14 minutes of Hope

$75 - A firm commitment to find Lord Harry, the Judge, who's name is frequently overheard at STX's airport

$100 – One brave baggage carousel revolution

$250 – Temporary AC in baggage claim (in theory)

$500 – Someone dusts off the maintenance manual

$1,000+ – Enough fuel to almost make a difference. Will confirm once audit complete

$5,000 – Help Turn the P3 into a P4 - Plans, Promises, Procrastination… and Prosecutors

What Your Donation Actually Does

Of course, THIS IS SATIRE.

Every dollar raised will go toward providing blackout kits for seniors in our community.

Because unlike VIPA,

our seniors didn’t mismanage millions.

Unlike VIPA,

our seniors didn’t skip four years of audits.

And unlike VIPA,

our seniors cannot afford to sit in darkness waiting for the next WAPA blackout to end.

And let’s be honest…

We all know the next blackout is coming.

A blackout kit may include:

Portable lights

Batteries

Shelf-stable food

Water filtration straws

First aid basics

Personal fans

Other essentials to keep our elders safe and comfortable when WAPA inevitably fails again

This fundraiser is satire aimed at highlighting a broken system.

But the help?

The help is very real.

God help the Virgin Islands.

Donate today and help protect:

Our elders. Our parents. Our grandparents.

The people who built this territory.

Let’s make sure they never sit in the dark again.

DISCLAIMER

The specific items included in each blackout kit will depend on the total amount of funds raised. While our goal is to provide essential supplies such as portable lights, batteries, fans, water filtration, first aid items, and shelf-stable food, the final contents may vary based on pricing, availability, and total contributions. All funds will be used exclusively to support seniors in preparing for future WAPA outages.