In 2012, after years of dating and waiting for the right person, Rob and Shayna FINALLY met each other in San Francisco as part of a Christian congregation of singles. Rob and I got married in 2014 in the Oakland California LDS temple. It was a beautiful day, and despite forgetting the silverware and losing the long belabored home-made sign-in book, the day went off without a hitch ;) After going to about a million weddings ourselves, we felt incredibly blessed to be surrounded by our loved ones and to finally experience our own wedding!
After the wedding, we moved to Alameda, where we settled into our routines of finishing grad school, unpaid internships and working multiple jobs. Due to our financial situation and the long commute to CSU Stanislaus, once Rob graduated, we moved to Modesto, CA and have been here ever since. We have been happily married for about four years now and are the proud aunt and uncle of more nephews and nieces than we can count! Rob is now finishing up his clinical hours as a therapist (MFTi) and I am managing our apartment complex and hoping to use my MPA degree soon!
About two and a half years ago, we realized that starting a family was something we were ready to try for. After about a year, we went in for testing. We found out that Rob has a genetic abnormality that prevents him from ever having children. No treatments will fix it, so our hands are tied completely, unless some miracle happens. The months that directly followed this disheartening news were difficult, to say the least. We were (and still are) mourning the loss of children we never had… an ambiguous loss that other couples who have had fertility problems can relate to. While we believe that miracles do happen, we also want to do our part by looking for an infant who needs us as much as we need them.
Rob is currently counseling with children at an elementary school for kids that are mostly on the Autistic Spectrum. I have a degree in Child Development as well as a master's in Public Administration and the kids in the apartment complex hang out in my office almost every day. Our two nieces, age 5 and 6, currently live with us during the week as well. We love kids, and it’s one of the many great ironies of life that we haven't been able to have children of our own. But we believe the Lord works in mysterious ways. We believe there is a reason for everything. Perhaps there is some child out there that needs us. Perhaps we are supposed to be the father and mother to the parentless, as one of Rob's amazing co-workers once said. It has been a struggle for us understanding the "Why's" behind everything, and we don't have an answer, but we do have faith and peace knowing it is in God’s hands. We work hard, we have a lot of love to give, and we have the cutest puppy in the world, so we hope we can share our home and hearts with a child that will be forever ours.
The main problem with situations like ours is that, even though we actually WANT to have kids, we can't afford the adoption process. Adoption costs between $15,000-$40,000, so its puts well-meaning people who are ready and willing at a disadvantage. We hate asking for help, but we know that by the time we are able to afford this on our own; we will be much older and may not have the physical stamina to best suit a baby. We are currently (as of 2017) in our early 30's, so we want to make this happen before we are too old to play tag and chase kids around :) While we have been drenched in experiences that have taught us to wait patiently for the Lord’s timing, we know the clock is ticking, so we are hoping to get the ball rolling within the next year.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
We appreciate any and all of you who have taken the time to read our story and hopefully the origin story of our future child. Even if you are unable to help financially, please share this on your social media or send to those who you think might have the means and interest to help. Thank you for being in our lives <3 We love you all!!!
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