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Hello family and friends,
As many of you know Brandon and I have been trying to grow our family for a number of years now. We’re just celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary, and in those three years we have had many happy moments filled with so much love, but always felt something was missing. We tried for a year before we finally conceived. We were over the moon with excitement and anticipation and we couldn’t wait to welcome our baby into the world.
We went to our 20 week appointment anxiously waiting to learn the gender of our child, but our excitement turned into shock when the doctor informed us that our baby had stopped growing. We were sent home only to return that evening to induce labor and deliver our baby.
Brand Allen was born on March 7, 2018 – a perfect baby boy, who we found ourselves saying goodbye to the same day God gave him to us. He wasn't given a chance to thrive and the loss of our baby boy completely shattered our world. The hardest part of grieving the child you don’t get to keep is that the desire to love them doesn’t go away. The want of being a mother or father settles in reminding you of what you lost and what you want.
After losing our baby boy, we spent these past two years continuing to try and the result was two additional miscarriages – each one creating high hopes that resulted in more struggle for us both. Just as we were starting to feel overcome with hopelessness, we were contacted by a dear friend who knew a young woman – we’ll refer to her as “K” - who was pregnant and looking to find a family to adopt her baby. Adoption was something that Brandon and I had discussed in the past and had always viewed as a possibility for us. Adding a child to our family was something that we knew we wanted and have so much love to offer. After learning more details, we started to message each other and eventually we met this remarkable young lady. After getting to know her, I knew that this was undeniably meant to be - truly part of God's plan for us.
We started looking into what was all required with the adoption process and the more we learned, the more it felt like we were hitting one obstacle after another. We assumed that since the match was already made that we would only need to deal with the legalities (termination of rights, temporary placement and adoption). We were wrong. After researching multiple agencies, we discovered all of the requirements and associated fees. We would be required to pay an application fee followed by the $2,600 home study to get started in the process. We would spend hours filling out paper work and asking others to be references for us. We needed to obtain a lawyer to ensure both “K” and Brandon and I were taking the appropriate legal steps.
After all this, we then realized that I would not qualify for the paid time off that generally comes with maternity leave, because we are adopting and not physically birthing a baby. This realization was a difficult one, as this was an additional cost we didn't anticipate. We quickly realized that the overall costs would amount to more than we could handle ourselves. With adoption agency fees, home studies, legal fees, travel costs, loss of wages (to name a few) adoption costs add up quickly. The estimated total cost is around $18,000-$20,000.
Brandon and I both know that you all work hard for what you have and truly appreciate anything you can do to help us make this dream a reality! Whether it’s prayers, kind words, sharing this page or financial gifts, we want you to know how grateful we are for the family and friends we have supporting us as we take this next step in our journey to creating our family. We are so excited to share this journey with you!
Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. We cannot wait to bring our baby home to meet all of the wonderful people in our lives.
With Much Love,
Brandon & Ashley
As many of you know Brandon and I have been trying to grow our family for a number of years now. We’re just celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary, and in those three years we have had many happy moments filled with so much love, but always felt something was missing. We tried for a year before we finally conceived. We were over the moon with excitement and anticipation and we couldn’t wait to welcome our baby into the world.
We went to our 20 week appointment anxiously waiting to learn the gender of our child, but our excitement turned into shock when the doctor informed us that our baby had stopped growing. We were sent home only to return that evening to induce labor and deliver our baby.
Brand Allen was born on March 7, 2018 – a perfect baby boy, who we found ourselves saying goodbye to the same day God gave him to us. He wasn't given a chance to thrive and the loss of our baby boy completely shattered our world. The hardest part of grieving the child you don’t get to keep is that the desire to love them doesn’t go away. The want of being a mother or father settles in reminding you of what you lost and what you want.
After losing our baby boy, we spent these past two years continuing to try and the result was two additional miscarriages – each one creating high hopes that resulted in more struggle for us both. Just as we were starting to feel overcome with hopelessness, we were contacted by a dear friend who knew a young woman – we’ll refer to her as “K” - who was pregnant and looking to find a family to adopt her baby. Adoption was something that Brandon and I had discussed in the past and had always viewed as a possibility for us. Adding a child to our family was something that we knew we wanted and have so much love to offer. After learning more details, we started to message each other and eventually we met this remarkable young lady. After getting to know her, I knew that this was undeniably meant to be - truly part of God's plan for us.
We started looking into what was all required with the adoption process and the more we learned, the more it felt like we were hitting one obstacle after another. We assumed that since the match was already made that we would only need to deal with the legalities (termination of rights, temporary placement and adoption). We were wrong. After researching multiple agencies, we discovered all of the requirements and associated fees. We would be required to pay an application fee followed by the $2,600 home study to get started in the process. We would spend hours filling out paper work and asking others to be references for us. We needed to obtain a lawyer to ensure both “K” and Brandon and I were taking the appropriate legal steps.
After all this, we then realized that I would not qualify for the paid time off that generally comes with maternity leave, because we are adopting and not physically birthing a baby. This realization was a difficult one, as this was an additional cost we didn't anticipate. We quickly realized that the overall costs would amount to more than we could handle ourselves. With adoption agency fees, home studies, legal fees, travel costs, loss of wages (to name a few) adoption costs add up quickly. The estimated total cost is around $18,000-$20,000.
Brandon and I both know that you all work hard for what you have and truly appreciate anything you can do to help us make this dream a reality! Whether it’s prayers, kind words, sharing this page or financial gifts, we want you to know how grateful we are for the family and friends we have supporting us as we take this next step in our journey to creating our family. We are so excited to share this journey with you!
Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. We cannot wait to bring our baby home to meet all of the wonderful people in our lives.
With Much Love,
Brandon & Ashley
Organizer
Ashley Barttelt
Organizer
Athens, WI