$7,663 raised
·166 donations
2 Teachers Want a Baby of Their Own
Donation protected
Hello.
My name is Sanjit, and I am writing this letter on behalf of my wife Ginger and myself. It's difficult to write this letter asking for a self-serving donation, but I've been really touched by the outpouring of support we have gotten from total strangers on our journey to have a baby.
When Ginger and I first got married in 2006, I put aside any thoughts of having my own biological child. (Ginger had a complete hysterectomy in her twenties due to health complications, and I knew that before I ever decided to marry her.) I decided to devote myself to her three children from her previous marriage and, as much as possible, to treat them as if they were my own children. About eighteen months ago, we started discussing the option of surrogacy. The kids are either in college or soon-to-be in college, and we are not too old to be parents to a newborn. The only concern seemed to be if we could afford to pay for the surrogacy. We still help to support Ginger's children, and as high school teachers, we earn modest incomes. Because my desire to have a child never faded over the years, we decided to find a way to make it work. You can read a more eloquent and detailed account of our history at my wife’s blog: https://ataleoftwomothers.wordpress.com/2015/01/22/surviving-is-important-thriving-is-elegant-maya-angelou/
When we decided to sign up with a surrogacy agency and have a child of our own, I felt rejuvenated. We planned to reduce costs by using a traditional surrogate, which is not the recommended way to go because the surrogate carries her own biological child, and it is not as legally sound. However, we saw it as the only option we could afford, so we decided to take a leap of faith.
We could get a few interest-free balance transfer loans and work during the summers. We also both work lunch duty during our lunch break almost every day and take on all extra duties that we can--supervising Saturday schools and after-school detentions, mentoring new teachers, serving on committees at school, etc. We have always been committed to working hard ourselves to achieve our dream and to pay for it, but so much has happened on this journey that has been completely outside of our plans and control that it has left us in a difficult place.
In spite of all our plans to make surrogacy work for us, things have not gone as smoothly as we anticipated. Initially, we estimated that the total cost of the surrogacy would be $50,000-$60,000. Well, our first surrogate quit after two attempts for medical and personal reasons--after we paid for legal and medical costs for her. Disheartened but determined, we decided to use a gestational surrogate (not biologically related to the child) and a separate egg donor, a process that would be safer but substantially more expensive.
So, we found an egg donor, a nurse, someone we thought was perfect. We spent thousands of dollars on medical testing for her--only to learn that she had cocaine in her system. We then selected a new egg donor and incurred more expenses for medical screening. She missed a key appointment right after she got her period, and then she didn't have a period for over two months--and wouldn't get checked out on her own. In the meantime, we also found a new surrogate who told us she was from Oregon. We paid to have medical testing performed on and flew her and her husband and son to our clinic in LA--only to find out she had an STD that she refused to be treated for. She also lied to us about where she lived, which was really in a state that is not surrogate-friendly. Obviously, she didn't work out.
Today, I'm happy to say that we are finally on the road to having a beautiful baby. We finally have a reliable, honest, like-minded surrogate, an amazing woman named Laney, and a wonderful egg donor, and we are just a few days away from our first embryo transfer attempt. However, because of unfortunate circumstances, our projected costs for this surrogacy have doubled.
This brings us to you and to this very uncomfortable place where we are asking for your financial support. Any amount you feel compelled to contribute would be appreciated. When I saw the thousands of readers my wife’s blog attracted, I thought it would be amazing if all of these supporters could just pitch in a few dollars to help. It seems so odd to ask for donations to have a baby, but this life and this dream of ours have never been easy or "normal." Thank you for your interest and your support, whether that support is in the form of dollars or positive thoughts sent out into the universe for us in the coming weeks as we attempt to finally have our dream baby, who will truly be a child of the universe.
Blessings,
Sanjit & Ginger
P.S. If you would like to read more about our journey, you are welcome to follow our co-blog with our surrogate at www.ataleoftwomothers.wordpress.com.
My name is Sanjit, and I am writing this letter on behalf of my wife Ginger and myself. It's difficult to write this letter asking for a self-serving donation, but I've been really touched by the outpouring of support we have gotten from total strangers on our journey to have a baby.
When Ginger and I first got married in 2006, I put aside any thoughts of having my own biological child. (Ginger had a complete hysterectomy in her twenties due to health complications, and I knew that before I ever decided to marry her.) I decided to devote myself to her three children from her previous marriage and, as much as possible, to treat them as if they were my own children. About eighteen months ago, we started discussing the option of surrogacy. The kids are either in college or soon-to-be in college, and we are not too old to be parents to a newborn. The only concern seemed to be if we could afford to pay for the surrogacy. We still help to support Ginger's children, and as high school teachers, we earn modest incomes. Because my desire to have a child never faded over the years, we decided to find a way to make it work. You can read a more eloquent and detailed account of our history at my wife’s blog: https://ataleoftwomothers.wordpress.com/2015/01/22/surviving-is-important-thriving-is-elegant-maya-angelou/
When we decided to sign up with a surrogacy agency and have a child of our own, I felt rejuvenated. We planned to reduce costs by using a traditional surrogate, which is not the recommended way to go because the surrogate carries her own biological child, and it is not as legally sound. However, we saw it as the only option we could afford, so we decided to take a leap of faith.
We could get a few interest-free balance transfer loans and work during the summers. We also both work lunch duty during our lunch break almost every day and take on all extra duties that we can--supervising Saturday schools and after-school detentions, mentoring new teachers, serving on committees at school, etc. We have always been committed to working hard ourselves to achieve our dream and to pay for it, but so much has happened on this journey that has been completely outside of our plans and control that it has left us in a difficult place.
In spite of all our plans to make surrogacy work for us, things have not gone as smoothly as we anticipated. Initially, we estimated that the total cost of the surrogacy would be $50,000-$60,000. Well, our first surrogate quit after two attempts for medical and personal reasons--after we paid for legal and medical costs for her. Disheartened but determined, we decided to use a gestational surrogate (not biologically related to the child) and a separate egg donor, a process that would be safer but substantially more expensive.
So, we found an egg donor, a nurse, someone we thought was perfect. We spent thousands of dollars on medical testing for her--only to learn that she had cocaine in her system. We then selected a new egg donor and incurred more expenses for medical screening. She missed a key appointment right after she got her period, and then she didn't have a period for over two months--and wouldn't get checked out on her own. In the meantime, we also found a new surrogate who told us she was from Oregon. We paid to have medical testing performed on and flew her and her husband and son to our clinic in LA--only to find out she had an STD that she refused to be treated for. She also lied to us about where she lived, which was really in a state that is not surrogate-friendly. Obviously, she didn't work out.
Today, I'm happy to say that we are finally on the road to having a beautiful baby. We finally have a reliable, honest, like-minded surrogate, an amazing woman named Laney, and a wonderful egg donor, and we are just a few days away from our first embryo transfer attempt. However, because of unfortunate circumstances, our projected costs for this surrogacy have doubled.
This brings us to you and to this very uncomfortable place where we are asking for your financial support. Any amount you feel compelled to contribute would be appreciated. When I saw the thousands of readers my wife’s blog attracted, I thought it would be amazing if all of these supporters could just pitch in a few dollars to help. It seems so odd to ask for donations to have a baby, but this life and this dream of ours have never been easy or "normal." Thank you for your interest and your support, whether that support is in the form of dollars or positive thoughts sent out into the universe for us in the coming weeks as we attempt to finally have our dream baby, who will truly be a child of the universe.
Blessings,
Sanjit & Ginger
P.S. If you would like to read more about our journey, you are welcome to follow our co-blog with our surrogate at www.ataleoftwomothers.wordpress.com.
Donations
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Sanjit Roy
Organizer
San Jose, CA