Help Keep Harper Safe

Being a single parent is a contradiction; because it is both difficult and beautiful. 

 
It's feeling like you're drowning, but getting the sweetest hugs and kisses each time you come up for air. 
 
It's late nights of work after your baby goes to bed because you have three jobs to make ends meet, but seeing the smile on their face when you were able to finally afford a trip to the zoo. 
 
It's putting your food back at the grocery store because they got excited seeing their favorite snack on the shelf, but you don't have enough money to buy all of it, so you go without.
 
It’s constant personal sacrifice, exhausting emotions, confusion, unanswered questions and continuous heartbreak as you walk down the path toward healing. But it’s also an overwhelming abundance of love and pride, knowing God believes you’re strong enough to raise kind and caring humans all on your own. 


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Hi, I'm Lauren Schussler. If you know me personally, you know my story isn’t the easiest to share or to listen to. It comes with immense pain and heartache, but it also gave me a beautiful daughter to cherish and love. If you don’t know me personally, this is me sharing my heart with you. 
 
I have been a single mother since day one and survivor of physical, verbal, and sexual domestic violence. Though it has been a very taxing and emotionally draining few years, I am so honored to be a mother to my sweet Harper Elizabeth. She is my glorious gift from above. And as her mama, it is my divine right to protect her from anyone or anything that tries to derail the life of safety and stability that I have worked so hard to build for her with my own two hands. 
 
Even though I have three full time jobs, being a single parent is financially straining. We have never received child support, nor have I had any help from the other parent due to a vast difference in priorities. So for me, I don’t have a choice when it comes to working as much as I do. If I don’t, Harper doesn’t have clothes, shelter, food, transportation or other necessities. On top of being a working single mother, I am also trying to go back to school to finish my degree, as well as paying for Lyme Disease treatment which isn’t covered by insurance. In order to continue being healthy and fully functional, I can’t stop receiving treatment until I am in remission. Which means that is yet another thing I am paying for without monetary assistance. 
 
Though I endured abuse and hardships over the last few years, things took an even bigger negative turn in September of 2019. The uncontrollable anger and violence had gotten significantly worse from hard drug usage, things became venomous and vindictive toward Harper as she was used as a pawn and bargaining chip by the other parent, and quite honestly - I feared for our lives. After her father tried busting in our front door and threatening us with the police, Harper and I had to flee from our previous apartment and take residence where he couldn’t find us. We were running from violence, ongoing alcohol abuse, substance abuse, threats, habitual lying and so much more. 

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I know people wonder why I didn't leave as soon as I "should" have. That's the number one question women get when they're in abusive relationships.

I didn’t leave when I "should" have because I was terrified to my core. Of the continued threats, of what he would do if he couldn’t control us anymore, and especially of how the court system would rule out our case because in Texas it doesn’t protect children of abuse the way that it is supposed to. 

For a parent, one of the scariest things you can hear is that your precious child, the one you grew and gave life to, has the potential to be in the arms of their abuser and there is nothing you can do about it. Even though I’ve called the police, and even though we have a restraining order against him, that isn’t enough to keep Harper safe at this point. Our restraining order can only do so much, and it can't be enforced unless something dangerous happens to us, which is exactly what any parent hopes to avoid.

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The reason I’m telling you about such personal and painful areas of my testimony is to shed light on the court system. In order for my daughter to really have a fighting chance, I had to get a great lawyer. I was able to obtain one of the best in my state, but with that comes expensive fees that, as a single mother without consistent help, I can no longer keep up with on my own. On top of my bills, groceries, and everyday life – my lawyer fees are averaging about $5,000 per every 6 weeks. I was able to retain her and pay the first $5,000, but the trial is not over and the next payment is due. Though my parents have always been incredibly helpful whenever I’ve asked for resources, I am now needing to rely on the kindness and generosity of others while I continue contributing in whatever ways I am able. 
 
Without financial assistance, I will be unable to continue using this lawyer, and we really, really need her. If you know anything about the system, it is beyond corrupt and doesn’t actually care about the best interest of the child – it cares about keeping families together regardless of abuse and neglect. And as Harper’s only voice and active parent, I am willing to do anything and everything I can to ensure my daughter’s safety, even if it means swallowing my pride and asking for help – no matter how embarrassing it may be and how small it makes me feel. I never imagined I would be in this position at almost 27 years old. But then again, no one imagines they would ever have to deal with abuse.
 
For almost 3 years I have nurtured her innocence, I have calmed her fears and rocked away her bad days, I have shielded her from harm and silenced her nightmares, I have distracted her from fights and detrimental behavior - and I refuse to see the light leave her eyes because a court system doesn’t advocate for the safety of children. It doesn’t advocate for parents who have been traumatized by domestic violence. And I believe in my soul that one should ever have to experience or tolerate being tormented by another human being.
 

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So, here I am.  
 
Being vulnerable. Being transparent. Being honest.

Asking you for help and support and prayer. 
 
Asking you to rise with me and help my daughter gain freedom from our abuser. To allow her the chance to build a healthy relationship someday with a man who is capable of loving and protecting her, who will teach her, cherish her, and help her grow into the strong, capable young woman I know she will be.

She deserves that. She deserves to thrive in an environment that she feels comfortable in. An environment that genuinely cares for the well-being of her heart and soul, with people who know how to make sacrifices and keep her safe at all cost.

She deserves that and so much more.


 
Every dollar adds up, and I will be eternally grateful for whatever you can do to help me sleep a little easier at night knowing my baby girl is safe and home where she belongs. 
 
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. For even reading this far, for being a catalyst for change, for standing alongside me in support, for investing your precious time into our cause, and for listening to the cries of a mother who believes so deeply that our babies deserve to walk this earth feeling safe, whole, and secure. Even if that means protecting them from someone you never thought you would have to protect them from. 
 
Please share with your friends and family if you are able, and know that we genuinely appreciate you more than you could ever know. 
 
If you are unable to contribute monetarily, we would love for you to not only share with others who may be able to donate, but also follow us on social media as I continue using my voice to advocate for my daughter - and for men, women, and children who have been or are still in the midst of the tragedy that is domestic violence.

May God bless you and your family immensely. I value your graciousness, humanity, and understanding in this trying time for my daughter and myself.


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INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/lauren.schussler/ 

FACEBOOK:
https://www.facebook.com/laurenalexis1 



Forever grateful,

Lauren & Harper Schussler