Reach out and help an elder who helped others

My dear friend Marlene, lives alone in San Francisco.

This photo was taken in easier times out dining and enjoying herself-ignore the bib!!

She was diagnosed with Polycethemia Vera, a form of blood cancer, 21 years ago and now it is progessing.

Some effects of this disease are persistent fatigue, potential mini-strokes, which can impact one’s ability to make decisions, and following through on life tasks becoming more and more challenging.

Before COVID lock down began many of her closest friends had already moved away but she still had her one movie buddy, she loves those MARVEL movies; her art classes, loves painting and drawing, and before I moved away to the East coast, we met to go to the many museums in the city, including time for lunch and lively discussions filled with laughter.

That all ground to a halt in March of 2020, and although life has shifted again and opened up in many ways for most people, for a vulnerable elder with health issues going out and re-building a social network is deeply challenging. The relentless social isolation has pushed my friend into depression and inertia in addition to the ongoing challenges of her illness.

She had a fall in September while crossing the street. This has created fear of walking to the tiny grocery near her apartment, leading to inability to create decent meals and have appropriate nutrition. Ordering food is extremely expensive as we all know and that is a limited solution.

As her fatigue has increased from the PCV, negotiating simple tasks to keep her bills in order, cleaning her apartment, and taking care of her dog, all these daily tasks are no longer being tended to easily, daily living without help is overwhelming her.

Marlene’s legacy of caring for her psychotherapy clients from all walks of life made a difference in their lives. Before retirement she worked for many years with Asian and Pacific Islander immigrants at a counseling center in the Richmond district of the city, as well as years and years of service to the LGBT community; she was a psychotherapist at a maximum security prison where she counseled men who were in prison for life;- part of her work there included teaching many of these men mindfulness and meditation.

So here we are, asking for help because we needed to hire someone to guide her life and help with the daily tasks of living while she is hoping to continue living independently for as long as possible with some wrap -around services to help ease the way, bring order to the chaos that she is experiencing, and help her re-engage with the world again.

I called many social and county agencies to get help and they are so overburdened that no one returned my calls.

Two weeks ago I hired a licensed medical social worker whose team includes a nurse, to help get her life on track and to reengage in everyday activities. They will be a presence in her life for a limited amount of time due to financial constraints.

This will include connecting her with other services so that she can continue to live in her apartment and have a life with less worry, as the symptoms from her illness are increasing.

I am asking for your help so that my friend, this elder whose working life was all about helping others, can now receive help from all of us.

It takes a village doesn't it?

With deep gratitude for your generosity of heart and spirit as we help my dear friend, who is part of my chosen family, to get back on her feet so she can embrace life and have some ease in her days.