Help Ra'miyah, Ra’mone jr and Ra’moni Boyd

This is about how two lives were forever changed: Me and my CASA kid, Ramone Boyd

In 2007 I uprooted and moved from Birmingham Al to Louisville KY to get married. Within 18 months, I had married, had a miscarriage got divorced, was in a near fatal car accident, lost my job of 12 years, lost my dog of 15 years and then my Westie my Hannah of 18 years. It was one of the lowest points of my life. I was as depressed as one could get. I wanted to die.

I KNOW that when you are in that situation, helping others helps yourself. Bringing comfort and joy to others can heal one’s own pain. I signed up to become a CASA volunteer ( a court appointed special advocate) for others. I completed the training and all I knew was that my birthing years had passed, I had not had a child, which had always been such a deep desire and I wanted to help secure a better life for a little baby. I am speaking from my heart here and it is what it was. I envisioned holding , cradling a little newborn baby, what I had lost. I wanted to fulfill my hearts desire of loving and helping secure a precious child into a healthy environment.

After successfully completing my training I was given a book to look through and pick “the child” I would get to help. Whether it is saving a child from drug addicted parents or out of bad home environment or simply providing the extra assistance a child may need. I was ready for a change.

As I went through the book of kids in need I came across a story that stopped me dead in my tracks. I knew what I wanted, but make plans and G-D laughs. I came across a young boy (16) in high school who lived in the projects in Louisville, KY. He didn’t know his dad, his mother was in prison for drug use, she had abused him and his grandmother had been raising him since he was 6. I felt struck by a lightening bolt. This didn’t just speak to me it screamed out to me. He was a smart kid but not thriving in school. He was being bussed from the projects into a high school into East Louisville where I was living. He had to get up extremely early to catch a 5:00am bus to make it to school in time and his grandmother was already out of the apt. working for MANY years as a custodian at the U of L.

I was confused. I thought a custodian was a vice president or an executive ( as my amazing husband likes to say to me “ thank G-D for that fine fine Lee Academy education you received”. I can honestly say he is a Stanford graduate w a loving sense of humor. But I digress……….

The day my CASA trainer took me to meet Ramone on MLK Blvd in the projects I was honestly scared. I entered his grandmothers’s apt and there he sat, staring angrily at me. He didn’t want my help, he didn’t feel he needed any help and he sure didn’t want me interfering with his life or lifestyle. I could feel it from where I sat. We had to both agree to this situation and I didn’t feel it was going to happen. After a few moments of uncomfortable attempts at conversation and silence, I finally said “Ramone, I would like to tell you a little about me and why I chose YOU.

I shared with him that I too had had an extremely unhealthy abusive childhood with my mother. That I had never felt loved in their home and that finally my grandmother took me into her home and raised me. That for the first time in my life I woke up and there was breakfast on the table for me. That after school I walked into her apt and was asked about my day and was fed a fresh healthy meal. That I mattered and was important. Here in front of me was a child who had been hurt by the one person who was suppose to love him no matter what, and I felt so connected to him. I wanted so badly to help him in any way I could.

When I was growing up and would cry to Jennie (my grandmother/angel) about why why me, why was I treated so differently compared to my three siblings she always told me to “ be grateful instead of sad. To think about how many other people there were out there in similar situations that didn’t have someone else to step in and help them.” I can honestly say that the compassion and charity that I carry in my heart today was taught to me by my grandparents, whom every year had gifts set aside, something for their customers at their drug store in Friars Point MS who had NOTHING. They would have underwear, socks, clothes set aside for these folks who were all living on welfare. Whose walls were covered with the newspaper comic sections to keep the wind or cold out. Just last night I learned of two different people whose college education was paid in full by my grandfather and when they came to pay him back he wouldn’t take it. He said I am old now and have enough. He was humble. He never told anyone he did this. They ran into my brother years later and told him and he just shared it with us. My grandparents believed it is our duty to help others. It is why I majored in social work.

ANYWAY, I shared it all with him. How it had taken me so many years of working on myself, years of therapy, making mistakes, and learning to forgive myself and pick back up again and that when I read his story I felt G-D was saying “here you go-put your money where your mouth is.” I told him how helpless I felt through high school, how much of a loser I felt I was while my siblings had Izods and nice clothes and mine were from Walmart. That I never felt “good enough” and without the help from my dear grade and high school friends, my grandmother, my aunt Goldie and my guidance counselor I wouldn’t have been sitting on his couch that day. I shared how difficult school was ( I honestly should have been held back a year) that I cheated my way through school beginning in 3rd grade and that the ONLY thing I knew in my heart for sure was that I had compassion for others and I felt a connection to him and his story.

When I finished with tears rolling down my face, he stood up and had tears coming out of his eyes and said “dude, we will be good together.” And we were.

I was SO BLESSED to get to know him and his angel/grandmother Alice. I met with his teachers, I picked him up when when he missed his bus to get him to school. We went to lunch at least once a week to discuss everything that was going on with him in his life.

He saved my life one day and I will never forget it. I was at his grandmothers apt getting ready to take him to lunch to discuss his classes. As we were going to exit his building he turned around and shoved me backwards really hard and quickly and I fell back onto the floor. It was so instantaneous and I felt confusion and then anger. Like WTF?? He looked at me and said a gang leader had just walked by, if he had seen me, a white woman in that building he would have shot me. He SAVED MY life that day.

This was in 2008. I became very attached to him and his grandmother Alice. She was his angel and heaven sent. A beautiful woman with a gigantic heart.

The three of us have stayed close over the years. BK and I had him come stay with us in Charlotte a few years ago and we were like little children swimming at night, playing and laughing. He truly filled both of our hearts with love. He shared with us how difficult life was in the hood. How people would shoot you up for your shoes, just senseless killing. He NEVER joined a gang. He NEVER got involved with drugs other than smoking pot. He loved making music and was good at it.

We FaceTimed every time we spoke whether from a Super Bowl, a Bama game, the beach or just on the couch.

He had three young children and he ADORED them. He was an amazing father. He would FaceTime me and when his son or daughter would walk in he would stop whatever he was doing to attend to them with a smile. He was always bragging on them and always telling me about how well they were doing in school and sports. I was so proud of the type of attentive loving parent he was.

About 10 years ago when walking to the store to get milk for one of his new born babies he was shot. It was by someone as a gang initiation. After that BK and I pleaded with him to leave Louisville. We told him we would help him but he didn’t want to leave his kids.

A couple of years ago I received this text from him on Mother’s Day. This tells you the kind of person he was:

Last week someone knocked on his door, it was someone he knew. He opened his door and was shot point blank in the chest 3 times and died instantly. Another senseless killing. When I woke up and saw the text from his grandmother Alice, shock is an understatement.

I have questioned myself with what I could do for him in his memory. I have never been comfortable reaching out publicly for help but this is not for me. I have seen first hand how help can change someone’s life. I decided I would start a savings account/trust fund for each child until they turn 18, add to it every Christmas then gift it to them to begin a life with.

We are all so blessed in so many ways. The chances these 3 young children who were born into the projects, born into poverty and to be able to get out and have a fresh start are slim. I want to help. I WILL help them and I am reaching out to ask you please for your help as I start a go fund me to be divided into three accounts for Ra’Miyah, Ramone jr and Ra’moni Boyd.