My baby girl and custody, you can help!

Hi, my name is Ben, and I have a 20-month-old baby girl. I know, 20 months is not exactly a baby anymore. But she'll always be my baby girl. I need your help to preserve my right and role as father to my baby girl. My wife, Jan (J) Forte, has decided to leave me and has taken my baby, our baby and refuses to allow me to see her until a signed child custody agreement is in place. J is seeking full custody and has told me she wants nothing from me. Well, except for the proceeds from the sale of our home.

I lack the financial resources to hire competent, capable legal representation. J does not have financial constraints. Her wealthy father, whom she had intentionally avoided for over 20+ years, suddenly entered into her life mere days before she informed me she wanted a divorce; she was taking our baby girl, moving and changing our daughter's school.

Your donation will enable me to hire a qualified family law attorney so I can stay in my daughter's life. So I can continue to contribute to my baby girl's growth and development. To continue being an active participant in her life. To

My baby girl is my life. As my wife recently wrote to a court 5-days before deciding to leave me and take our daughter:

"Neither Ben nor I have extended family or a local support system, all we have is the family we made together. And all our daughter has is us. He loves her dearly, and she could not be more attached or adoring of him. All we want and work for is for her to have a safe, secure, and loving environment. He is tireless in his willingness to investigate every leaf and bug with her, spend hours singing the same song over and over, wait for her to get home to water the garden together and pick cucumbers and tomatoes. Their worlds revolve around each other."

My daughter is my world. I've dealt with stalking, harassment, threats, and more for almost a decade. So, I'm reluctant to share about my current situation. However, my love for my daughter is greater than my pride. And without your help, I am uncertain if she will be a part of my life and I a part of hers.

Since 2018, I've dealt with the legal fallout from a terrible divorce. All divorces are complicated; however, this divorce played out on social media and ultimately resulted in almost four years of legal battles and the closure of my former successful and award-winning self-defense business, District Combatives. Recently, in August 2022, I was found guilty of a violating a protective order; my alleged crime was that self-defense training videos from 2017 existed on Facebook. That's not a typo. During the proceedings, it was discovered that the prosecutor created the evidence used against me, violating my constitutional rights and likely engaged in prosecutorial misconduct. The prosecutor is under investigation for misconduct in this matter and the verdict is under appeal.

Unfortunately, the presiding judge was not swayed by the misconduct nor the constitutional issues and on August 24, 2022, I was sentenced to 60-days of incarceration. This result devasted my wife (I remarried in 2020 and welcomed my baby girl that same year). From December 2019 to August 2022, almost 3-years, my wife and I spent considerable money and time dealing with the allegation that self-defense training videos existed somewhere on Facebook and that was somehow criminal. That the proceedings occurred during COVID meant even more significant court delays, which increased costs for representation. The stress on our marriage was tremendous, given the potential legal consequences I faced, and the monthly hearings and continuances. While we faced significant challenges, the one bright spot was my ability to be present for all but one of my wife and daughter's medical appointments, to be with them every day except for two days when I was away for search and rescue training. It is and was those days that have kept me going. Knowing my baby girl needs a father. All kids do. In jail, you witness first-hand what happens to kids raised without a father. Or mother for that matter.

During my initial days in jail, I had never felt more supported by my wife. She was everything I could have hoped for. On day 5, that all changed. She told me she was divorcing me and taking our baby girl. Particularly cruel, she stated that my daughter had not been whining since I was incarcerated. A couple of days later, she told me she was selling our house. And then a few days after this, after much pressing, she reluctantly told me my dog, Raptor, had escaped our yard and was missing. Hesitatingly she told me he had been gone almost 7-days, and with the rural area in which we live, it is a death sentence considering she did nothing to find him. She spoke to no neighbors, did not report him missing to the humane society, nor did she post on our community's Facebook page. Those who know me know how much Raptor meant to me, even more so after I had re-homed my other beloved companion, Koda because he was too whiny for my wife.

I asked my wife to contact our friend and neighbor so he could alert our small local community. Days later, when I checked to see if she had done this, she claimed to have been too busy. When I asked her to contact my sister so she could post to the community Facebook page, I learned later, after my release on October 14th, she claimed not to know the password to my Facebook and that she could not find a photo of Raptor. She had unrestricted access to all my electronic devices and did nothing to save Raptor. That my wife spent 5-years as an emergency veterinary technician and knew she was leaving me, taking my daughter, and selling our home, all while failing to care for Raptor, has been challenging to reconcile.

Prior to my incarceration, I anticipated a potential sentence of 10-to 30-days and so I wrote a note to my daughter for the first 10-days, telling my wife that she could repeat reading them to her if the sentence was longer. While incarcerated, I wrote to my daughter every day. I was fortunate to find a working pen in the trash. When I learned of Raptor, I simply could not write and keep my letters positive and uplifting. So I had to stop writing. Incarceration in one of the worse jails in the country, DC, where I was locked in a cell for 23-hours a day five days a week, and not out over the weekend (resulting in 60-81 hours of alone time with nothing to read, nothing to occupy your thoughts, only time to think or try to avoid thinking is a challenge for anyone; it's worse when dealing with additional stress as I was forced to deal with).

My wife refused to send me photos of my daughter, refused to provide me phone numbers, and became my ex-wife 2.0. As much as I enjoyed calling my wife to hear my baby girl talking in the background, I had to stop calling because I could not take being berated and then returning to my cell for 17 to 21 hours with nothing but time to stew. That phone calls were not easy to make, jail gangs each had their own phone, and early on, I had a run-in with one "leader" who attempted to prevent me from using the phone. The issue was resolved when I refused to walk away, and another rival leader told me to use his phone. After this, I never had a problem using any phone. Being the only white guy in a cell block with over 90 inmates could have made for a potential disaster with the phone. But no one was going to prevent me from hearing my baby girl, even if it was only in the background.

When I was released, my good friend picked me up and drove me almost 70 miles home to gather my belongings. My wife refused to pick me up. And refused to provide my belongings to my friends, stating that "I'm not holding your stuff hostage."

I'm writing this the day after my release, after having spent the morning speaking with neighbors about Raptor, reporting him missing to the humane society, posting about his disappearance on our community Facebook page, and walking miles along the back roads calling his name and searching in ditches.

Now I am turning my attention to my baby girl. My attention has never left her. I spent all night watching the countless videos I took of us at the local park going down the slide together, of her going down the slide by herself for the first time, and of taking her to the local creek to play in the water. And so much more.

Any donation you can give is appreciated. And if you cannot contribute financially, please consider sharing this with those you know who have experienced similar situations. I've been told and I'm sure many are aware that custody courts tend to favor the mother. While I do not want to disparage my wife, I married her for a reason and we share a beautiful baby girl who I want to be a part of both of our lives whether we are together or apart, I do want to present an accurate reflection of what has transpired in days. How my and my daughter's life's have been turned upside down.

Any help you can provide is appreciated.

Thank you,

Ben