Please help us get my mum home where she belongs.

Our plea for help.

I ask with the heaviest of hearts for anyone who can, to help me help my mum. My mum, Pauline Spencer, a truly beautiful, caring, selfless soul, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017. She fought with every ounce of her being and I held her hand all the way. It was my turn to look after her the way she had always looked after me. Despite our very best efforts, the battle took its toll on her. Her dementia worsened and in 2019 she was admitted to Highbury Hospital for treatment to stabilise her, after 8 agonising weeks I was allowed to have her back, where she belonged, where she felt safe, where she felt loved, at home with me.

My partner and I did everything we could for her, my mum and our children’s beloved nana. We sold our house. I cut down my hours at work to care for her. We bought a bungalow. We planned for an extension to make a home that was suitable for her. A home where we could provide her with the care and comfort she deserved. Every penny we had went into it.     

We were quoted £42500. We did everything right. We needed to get this right for my mum. We got the quote in writing, we agreed a payment plan. The builder knew what we were going through and assured us that we were a priority. That couldn’t have been further from the truth.

He began the work. He fought and argued with labourers on our property. The police had to attend on more than one occasion. There was swearing, shouting, fighting. In front of my children. In front of my mum. Then COVID hit. My mum’s day centre closed down. The stress was getting to us all. My mum had falls in the house. She was losing her ability to talk and eat. He demanded payments despite us seeing very little progress. When we said we would pay when we saw some progress he couldn’t have cared less. He packed up his tools and said he was done. He told us he would’ve been finished in four weeks, so in utter desperation and despair we agreed to pay the remaining balance over the next four weeks. My mum had an assessment and it was agreed she should go into respite for four weeks while the build was completed to be away from the fighting and to return when the house was safe enough for her. But four weeks later, when the builder had received the full £42,500 (the build far from being finished) he removed himself and his business from Facebook. My partner called to ask what was happening and the builder explained that he was folding his company and would not be completing our build. Our money was gone. The care homes were locked down. I now haven’t seen my mum for 12 weeks. She has lost so much weight. She can not string a sentence together. She will not eat. She is rapidly deteriorating. My heart is breaking more each day, my mum deserves to be home with me. Where I can look after her and love her the way she deserves.


So at my darkest hour, I ask if you can help in any way.


If you can offer any help it would be more appreciated than you could ever know. Our priority is to get the build done and get my mum home where she belongs. We will do whatever it takes but we have nothing left.

We have had another builder quote us £20,000 to get it finished. We don’t know how to go forward. 

Having had so much generosity we have now increased the limit in the hope we can get closer to completion, thank you so much for all your support so far

To read my full story, please see below.

Love always,

Debbie, Danny and family x