Please Help Susan Loyacono
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Susan is going through a really hard time. Please donate if you can. And take 5 minutes to read about her struggle. Thank you.
Go fund me –
I appreciate your discretion in advance. I am telling my story, but also understand that it could be very hurtful to my husband if he found out about this from someone other than me.
I find myself in a difficult and sad situation. I have tried for years to get past it, but things have gotten worse. The time is right to act on my intuition that it is finally the right time to do something I have been dreading. I need to file for a divorce.
I married my husband in October 2004. We were a great couple. We went to 19 Springsteen shows together, we moved twice for his jobs, we bought a house and we adopted our son, Jack, in 2010. He was my best friend, my soulmate, a great father, and such a wonderful person. That began to change in July 2016.
On that 4th July weekend, he developed an extremely high fever. He suffered a day or so before visiting our doctor. They sent him directly to the ER – he had viral meningitis. At one point my sweet husband had a small seizure. We continued fighting meningitis for months – returning to the hospital once, doing home transfusions, and then transferring to a research-based hospital where weeks of treatment were successful.
What we did not know about that small seizure is that it is common for them to reoccur. And it did, exactly one year after the first. It was dramatic and scary, and it would not be the last. There would be other seizures, equally as dramatic, leading to ambulance rides and long hospital stays. Everything was scary, but we were strong during those days. We both began suffering from the side effects of brain trauma. Personality changes, volatility, and chaos.
It is impossible to face the fact that the person you love and trust more than anyone in the world has transformed. There is no one to blame, I try not to be angry, but the fact is, we are on a pretty destructive path.
2020 has delivered nearly constant blows to our already fragile homelife. After losing a writing job in 2018, I lost two more restaurant jobs to COVID. Then another bomb dropped. My husband lost his job July 1st. I had to use all my unemployment savings to ensure that we would all have healthcare during August 2020.
My unemployment has run out, and though I am frugal and resourceful, I know that it is going to be a long road back to anything that feels stable.
Meanwhile, my home life is becoming unsustainable. I am going to get my son back to school next month, I need to find a job I can do at home, in the event of school closure. I have applied for resource and have been seeking emotional support from my family and from a therapist.
I have been wondering if I could ever “do” divorce. I meant what I said, “in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer.” These words have guided me. But it’s not that kind of partnership anymore. He has brain damage and I have anxiety. Each day is unpredictable. I no longer believe I am meant to stay in this unhealthy situation. And I don’t want my son to remember his parents, who used to slow dance in the kitchen, as unhappy and unpleasant people.
My intention is to secure a future for Jack and me. And to keeping a door open for a continued relationship with Jack’s father. I am rooting for him to get well. I will never give up on healthy co-parenting.
In the meantime, I need a divorce. I have found the right attorney, who during a 30-minute free consultation, gave me more than an hour’s worth of guidance. I am grateful to my loving sister and so many friends who are going to keep me focused on my goals. I am afraid of creating one more thing for my parents to worry about when I tell them what my plans are, but I am certain this must be my path.
My marriage did not experience a failure of love. My family is the victim of a brain injury.
Moving forward is challenging. This week a particularly good friend suggested that I might put this out there and ask for help in the form of divorce funds. I estimate I will need $3500-4000 for my attorney. I know it is going to be complicated since our communication is difficult and strained. And we have a child. I want to be as thorough and responsible as I possibly can be.
This is awkward because I love to be the person helping others. Therefore, I pledge to you to continue to keep giving back wherever I can. Two things that I absolutely want to do is to give back to the school food pantry we have been blessed to use. And to help ensure that homeless people in my community have access to masks during this pandemic.
Thank you for your compassion and your consideration when you contribute whatever you can to my fund. And I am certain your generosity and friendship will help carry me through this journey. I appreciate you.
Susan Loyacono
Go fund me –
I appreciate your discretion in advance. I am telling my story, but also understand that it could be very hurtful to my husband if he found out about this from someone other than me.
I find myself in a difficult and sad situation. I have tried for years to get past it, but things have gotten worse. The time is right to act on my intuition that it is finally the right time to do something I have been dreading. I need to file for a divorce.
I married my husband in October 2004. We were a great couple. We went to 19 Springsteen shows together, we moved twice for his jobs, we bought a house and we adopted our son, Jack, in 2010. He was my best friend, my soulmate, a great father, and such a wonderful person. That began to change in July 2016.
On that 4th July weekend, he developed an extremely high fever. He suffered a day or so before visiting our doctor. They sent him directly to the ER – he had viral meningitis. At one point my sweet husband had a small seizure. We continued fighting meningitis for months – returning to the hospital once, doing home transfusions, and then transferring to a research-based hospital where weeks of treatment were successful.
What we did not know about that small seizure is that it is common for them to reoccur. And it did, exactly one year after the first. It was dramatic and scary, and it would not be the last. There would be other seizures, equally as dramatic, leading to ambulance rides and long hospital stays. Everything was scary, but we were strong during those days. We both began suffering from the side effects of brain trauma. Personality changes, volatility, and chaos.
It is impossible to face the fact that the person you love and trust more than anyone in the world has transformed. There is no one to blame, I try not to be angry, but the fact is, we are on a pretty destructive path.
2020 has delivered nearly constant blows to our already fragile homelife. After losing a writing job in 2018, I lost two more restaurant jobs to COVID. Then another bomb dropped. My husband lost his job July 1st. I had to use all my unemployment savings to ensure that we would all have healthcare during August 2020.
My unemployment has run out, and though I am frugal and resourceful, I know that it is going to be a long road back to anything that feels stable.
Meanwhile, my home life is becoming unsustainable. I am going to get my son back to school next month, I need to find a job I can do at home, in the event of school closure. I have applied for resource and have been seeking emotional support from my family and from a therapist.
I have been wondering if I could ever “do” divorce. I meant what I said, “in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer.” These words have guided me. But it’s not that kind of partnership anymore. He has brain damage and I have anxiety. Each day is unpredictable. I no longer believe I am meant to stay in this unhealthy situation. And I don’t want my son to remember his parents, who used to slow dance in the kitchen, as unhappy and unpleasant people.
My intention is to secure a future for Jack and me. And to keeping a door open for a continued relationship with Jack’s father. I am rooting for him to get well. I will never give up on healthy co-parenting.
In the meantime, I need a divorce. I have found the right attorney, who during a 30-minute free consultation, gave me more than an hour’s worth of guidance. I am grateful to my loving sister and so many friends who are going to keep me focused on my goals. I am afraid of creating one more thing for my parents to worry about when I tell them what my plans are, but I am certain this must be my path.
My marriage did not experience a failure of love. My family is the victim of a brain injury.
Moving forward is challenging. This week a particularly good friend suggested that I might put this out there and ask for help in the form of divorce funds. I estimate I will need $3500-4000 for my attorney. I know it is going to be complicated since our communication is difficult and strained. And we have a child. I want to be as thorough and responsible as I possibly can be.
This is awkward because I love to be the person helping others. Therefore, I pledge to you to continue to keep giving back wherever I can. Two things that I absolutely want to do is to give back to the school food pantry we have been blessed to use. And to help ensure that homeless people in my community have access to masks during this pandemic.
Thank you for your compassion and your consideration when you contribute whatever you can to my fund. And I am certain your generosity and friendship will help carry me through this journey. I appreciate you.
Susan Loyacono
Organizer
Jordan Simonson
Organizer
Chicago, IL