Please Help Gabe Walk Home!

My name is Deirdre Hamill. I'm originally from Northern Ireland. I emigrated to LA, California over 30 years ago, and when I was expecting my first child, I relocated to Illinois where I remain, 24 years and four children later.

I am asking for help on behalf of Gabe, my son and third child. In March 2020, Gabe was 16 years old and the day his school closed due to Covid, I took him to the ER with chest pain where I learned that Leukemia was suspected, two days later it was confirmed. My son had cancer!

A three-year and three-month treatment plan was agreed to and a regime of chemotherapy, Prednisone and spinal infusions began.

Gabe in March 2020 .

May 1, 2020, my husband, the children's dad, left without explanation.

In September 2020, Gabe suddenly started feeling unwell, so I made him a bed on the sofa, as soon as he lay down he grabbed my arm and said, "Mama, help me!" I called 911, within minutes they arrived, quickly working on Gabe who was now unconscious. The sight of the defibrillator paddles raised above their brother sent his two older siblings sprinting into the garage, crying and covering their ears.

Gabe was taken to Delnor ER then moved to Central DuPage, and after C-Diff, an infection rendering his port unusable, and failed heart surgery, Gabe's health worsened and he was transferred to Lurie Children's Hospital. The port infection meant each medication now required separate IV access. Gabe had needles from head to toe, he was almost unrecognizable, his ravaged body was a shocking sight and witnessing my child suffer like this changed me forever.

Gabe in September 2020.

Gabe was admitted to Lurie with heart failure, also present or occurring shortly thereafter, Sepsis, Septic Shock, Septicemia, Necrotic Pancreatitis, renal failure, a fungal infection in his blood and eyes, blood clots on his brain, pneumonia and a pressure sore that advanced to a gaping Stage 4 wound.

Gabe in October 2020.

After being advised against surgery, that death was imminent and that most parents would let their child pass in peace, I insisted on surgery in an attempt to save Gabe's life. I was asked if I wanted to say goodbye to him. Naked and being prepped for surgery, I held his head and spoke quietly in his ear until he was taken away, then I went home.

I poured myself a stiff drink and after I was almost done explaining to my three other children why Gabe would not be coming home, my phone rang. It was the surgeon and he sounded stunned. He told me to come back to the hospital because Gabe had somehow survived surgery. His pancreas was necrotized and a prognosis was impossible, the wound from surgery could not be closed due to bloating and infection and he had drainage tubes protruding from his sides to siphon off leaking pancreatic enzymes.

Gabe was hospitalized for a year, encountering additional serious conditions and was left unable to walk due to neurological issues, including drop foot. Despite undergoing inpatient physical therapy at The Shirley Ryan Ability Lab and Marion Joy, and outpatient physical therapy sessions at Delnor, Gabe is still unable to walk.

In spite of this, Gabe is determined to walk and decided this week that he was ready to give physical rehabilitation his all once more, so he has been measured so that new orthotics can be created for him.

I have been Gabe's caregiver since he left hospital in 2021, I was trained to care for his specific needs, converting a downstairs office into a bedroom because Gabe was bedridden, fed by a Nasogastric tube, his sacral wound was still open and far from healed as was the gigantic pancreatic surgery wound on his abdomen which measured 14in x 6in.

Due to receiving no child support or compensation as Gabe's caregiver my finances were in tatters. Every single utility and service was cut off at least once. While in Chicago, our home was damaged and I had to repair most of it myself. I soldered burst pipes, mudded and taped walls and ceilings, repaired appliances and learned to read schematics to diagnose furnace issues.

Living Room

We fought to keep our home, applying for HUD grants to fix our mortgage. But the final steps in the approval process showed that my name had been removed from the mortgage, grants were denied and the bank foreclosed and took our home on June 10, 2024, and that was the day we became homeless.

I have tried everything, we cannot be accommodated at shelters because they are unable to house me with my son due to policies separating males and females, I understand and respect this, but Gabe suffers anxiety and panic attacks and being separated and unable to assist him during an attack could lead to additional problems. Both of my sons have PTSD and have suffered depression, weight loss, back pain, digestive problems, sleep deprivation issues, suicidal thoughts and a constant feeling of dread due to the instability of our situation. The nights in my car are frightening. I stay in the driver's seat with the key in the ignition should any danger arise, and my driver's license beside me so when the police arrive, and they always arrive, I can put it up to the window immediately and as soon as they permit me to open the window, I explain our predicament in an effort to ensure that the police understand that there is no threat to them.

The worst thing about being homeless is the hopelessness. To fall through the cracks and disappear and no one has noticed makes you want to cry the way you cried as a child. When you are robbed of breath, missing the simple act of locking the front door, knowing the people you love the most are safely inside. Beds that feel just right, looking in on them when everything is quiet and their favorite blankets are bunched up around their neck and face. No hotel can offer that level of content. As a parent, ending even the worst days this way felt like a win.

My son, Jack, left a week before Christmas and moved to Ohio in search of employment. Being homeless had finally broken him, and at 6ft 4in, he could not face the back pain after another night trying to sleep in my car. I miss him so much but I had to let him go because I knew he was suffering a breakdown. He asked me not to try and stop him because he couldn't tell me no and would stay if I asked him too, I wanted him to stay with my whole heart but this young man has sacrificed years of his life without complaint staying, providing support when he wanted to leave and start living his own life. I will always owe him for his unwavering support but it was time to let him fly away, which he did, taking a piece of my heart with him.

My daughter Brenna left college not once but twice, to come home and help care for her brother. The weight of the guilt she felt attending college and knowing how difficult it was at home impacted everything. Brenna owed us no debt, she was with us and supported us when Gabe was in hospital, staying at his bedside day and night, monitoring his care and being his voice when he literally had none. In spite of this, she was unable to be fully present and attend college to the best of her ability, stress and emotional trauma caused by the events she witnessed and guilt caused by being absent left her conflicted and scarred, so she came home to see this through, and for that I will be forever in her debt. Brenna has since found her "happily ever after" in Ray, they are engaged to be married and expecting a baby girl. She will be an excellent mother because her heart is filled with love.

Every single penny raised will go to ensuring that Gabe has a roof over his head, either in a hotel or if possible, rent on an apartment. I cannot do this alone, I have tried and I need help. I honestly believed I could fix all of this by myself, and I tried, but I now understand that asking for help is in the best interests of my children, they are suffering and ending the fear and uncertainty of homelessness is imperative. Any help, no matter the amount is progress, even if you think it may not make a difference, believe me, it will make a difference and I am grateful for the opportunity to ask for help. Thank you for reading a portion of our story and I will follow up with more information about what our family has experienced and updates on how we are moving forward, facing our problems and searching for solutions. Prayers for Gabe in his efforts to walk, Brenna's wedding is spring 2026 and to see Gabe stand with his brother and sisters on such a special day would sprinkle a little extra happiness on the day two people promise to stay together forever because they love each other and want to .

Thank you so much,

Deirdre Hamill