Pamella Needs a Safe Place to Live

Original Post

Before I introduce you to my newest friend and share her story, I want you to pause and think about this, especially as we head into the holiday season:

“Imagine for a moment that you have no one in this world who cares about you or loves you.”

Safe, affordable housing for our elderly is a major issue in our community. Every week, I talk to so many seniors who simply cannot afford to live on their own. Many are forced to move in with family members because it’s their only option with the limited income they receive.

Let me introduce you to Ms. Pamella. She reached out to me several weeks ago with a plea for help. When she first called, she was in the hospital and explained that she needed to sell her house. She could no longer take care of herself and hoped to find a nursing home or assisted living facility before selling her home. On the surface, this seemed like an easy situation to solve. I contacted someone I often work with who helps find and place individuals in assisted living based on their needs. But this time, things were far more complicated. Eventually, she was sent home.

Now, let me tell you about her home. Pamella has lived there since 2008, but years of financial hardship and neglect have left it unlivable. Despite the condition of the home, you can see she still takes pride in it. However, there’s only so much she can do given her circumstances. Her monthly income is just $940. Her house is full of mold from years of leaking pipes, infested with roaches and has rotted floors and structural damage caused by water issues. These are just a few of the many unsafe conditions. On top of the unsafe conditions, her food is being eaten by mice.

Pamella knew she needed to make a change. I met her, in person, for the first time last week at her home, and learned more about her story and how we might can help. I thought the solution would be as simple as finding her affordable housing. I made several calls to facilities in the Rome area, explaining her situation, but ran into roadblock after roadblock. Her ownership of her home, along with her Medicare and Medicaid situation, created challenges I or any of my network couldn’t overcome.

I spent hours on the phone trying to find answers or solutions for Pamella, never really getting anywhere. As soon as we got over one hurdle, another popped up. And if I, someone immersed in real estate with a wealth of resources, found this overwhelming, I can’t imagine how hard it would be for a 66-year-old woman battling mental illness to navigate. It’s a maze of information, applications and red tape. Thankfully, through a friend, I connected with Paula Wolfe Mathis, who was able to answer a lot of questions and was a wealth of knowledge.

Even so, more obstacles appeared with Medicare and Medicaid. After an hour-long call with the Social Security office, we learned that almost any solution could cause Pamella to lose her Medicare or drastically increase her Medicaid costs (might have those backwards). This would make it impossible for her to afford her medications and medical bills. The SSA couldn’t give her exact amounts on what to expect and said she would have to make the sale first and then they could, which is too late. Without answers about how these changes would impact her, Pamella is left unable to make an informed decision about what’s best for her.

Pamella needs an attorney who specializes in these matters, but with no money to pay for legal assistance, she’s out of options—and, honestly, so am I. I work in problem-solving, but this situation has left me frustrated.

Over the past week, I’ve spent several hours with Pamella, bringing her home-cooked meals and listening to her share stories about her family, her faith, and her struggles. She never once complained during these conversations. She told me she had five daughters and a family like most of us. However, she lost her daughter Jodi to suicide last year, and because of other circumstances that I won’t share on social media, she has lost the rest of her family too. When she spoke about her daughters, it was the first time I saw her smile. She was so excited to be able to share and tell stories of her daughters.

She has no family, no friends, and no support system. While helping her fill out forms, she stopped at the “references” section and looked at me, saying, “I don’t have anyone I can put here. What do I do?” It broke my heart to realize just how dire her situation truly is.

Pamella is completely housebound. If her electricity or heat were to fail, I’m not sure how she would survive. When I asked her if there was anything I could do today that she needs, wants or would bring her joy, she thought for a while and said, “Just safe, affordable housing. I’m not doing so good.” Then, she broke down. It was hard to watch. I told her I couldn’t fix this today, but we would find a way to get her the safe housing she needs.

Soon after, in casual conversation, she mentioned how much she liked the meal I brought her yesterday but that she struggles to eat because she doesn’t have any teeth. That’s when it hit me—dentures. I asked what it would mean for her to get dentures, and she said it would mean the world but wasn’t possible.

When I left her house, I called Jessica Bowles at Georgia Family Dental and Facial Aesthetics - Rome. I explained very little and Jessica didn’t ask many questions, and within minutes, she called back to say that Dr. Kyle Carney would take care of Pamella’s dental needs 100%—at no cost. Wow!! My jaw dropped. You can imagine what Pamellas did when I shared the news.

It’s going to take several trips and since transportation is an issue, Christie Welch Carroll with Prestige Home Brokers offered to cover all of Pamella’s transportation to and from the dental office. Meanwhile, We Are Home Buyers will continue providing her with daily warm meals she is able to eat until she gets her dentures. Stephen Walker with Walker's Tree Service has also agreed to buy her a new mattress for her new place when she finds it.

Pamella still needs help. She will need all-new clothing and furniture because her current possessions are infested with mold and bugs. She also urgently needs an attorney who can navigate the legal and financial hurdles of her situation.

If you have extra clothing or furniture to donate, or if you or someone you know can help provide legal assistance, please reach out.

I truly believe that God brings people into our lives for a reason. I don’t know why Pamella and I crossed paths yet, but I’m determined to help her. She is a part of our community, and no one deserves to feel as hopeless and forgotten as she does.

Pamella has faced unimaginable adversity, but she’s still here. Let’s come together to show her that she’s not alone.