Operation: Christmas Miracle

This is our truth. My ex husband, of course, has his own narrative, but here is my story: After 7 years of extreme abuse from my now ex husband, (one example was an evening where I scooped up my children, ran and hid terrified in the master bathroom where we locked ourselves in just as he fired his gun, bullets narrowly missing my head and tearing through 4 walls before finally embedding in the siding of the house) After 7 years of extreme abuse, I took my children ages 4, 7 and 10 and hid in a safe house with Marion County Mid-Valley women’s crisis center, and filed a restraining order. Every interaction with him since has been a living nightmare. His family has bottomless pockets and only care about power, control and their public image. They have done everything in their power to smear my name, including making calls to cps claiming that I was mental, resulting in the removal of my children and placed in his care minus Ethan because he was not blood. The kids were just 4, 7 and 10. The CPS ordered psych eval resulted in finding that I suffered from anxiety and required no further compliance on my part. (Slow clap ... .... to cps for removing children from their safe place and giving them to a violent man who couldn’t stay clean off of drugs AND for separating them from their big brother and placing Ethan in foster care) After it was all over with and my evaluation proved that I was not in fact mentally incapable of caring for my children, a lead supervisor came to my home and very humbly apologized for what happened to me and my kids, stating none of it made any sense to anyone in their office and that I should know the case worker in charge of my kids’ case had been discharged because of it. She then offered to pay my rent and bills for a month on behalf of their office because they felt so bad about seeing my family destroyed like that. Those months, without my babies, were hands down the darkest days of my life to date. Up until then, I had been their only parent, as their father would disappear for long periods of time, and Holidays without him were the norm. When he did come home, it was nothing but angry, violent outbursts and severe physical abuse along with me finding him passed from his opioid addiction. All of this to say, up until my children were WRONGFULLY removed from me, I was their only safe, loving and nurturing parent and continue to be until this day. Once I finally left him, he and his family made false allegations with cps regarding my mental health, took my 4 and 7 year old children and sent my 10 yr old to Foster care because he wasn’t blood. After returning to my care, it took Colton a long time before he would hold my hand or show any kind of affection towards me again due to months of psychological abuse. This is also the time when Victoria’s bed wetting began. I chalked it up to the trauma from being ripped away from her mom and brother, but I would find out much later it was a way worse cause than that. I went FOUR months without contact with Colton and Victoria. (Two without Ethan, because at the end of it all I was only diagnosed with anxiety and deemed “safe” to be around my kids again,) but 4 months without Colton and Victoria because their dad refused to let me see them for an additional two months past the cps case closing. My lawyer at the time said “don’t rock the boat. Be patient. This looks bad on him in court.” Worst season of my life!!! This was the beginning of a 4 year long custody battle, which I finally won thanks to a 2 year long, in depth custody study of both he and I by a court appointed custody evaluator which included psych evals for both of us. I left him in 2012 and finally won custody in 2016. He had every other weekend with the kids. Just about every weekend he has them, he would send Colton away to his friend’s house and would then be alone with Victoria. She would beg not to go to her dad’s. She told me how she hated how he would save up two weeks worth of moldy dishes and two weeks of his dirty laundry for her to do. I would sympathize, but told her she had to go. It was only a few days. Fast forward to April 2020, where Victoria had been participating in trauma therapy, and during this therapy, some horrific abuse was discovered at the hands of her dad and other family members. While trying to process what was discovered in her session, everything started to “click” for and make sense to Victoria as she opened up about other stuff that she had never mentioned to me before. I called abuse hotlines asking for direction, especially since we did not have physical proof of the abuse. After a week of trying to figure out how to move forward and best protect my daughter and of course after getting her input on what she wanted, we decided to call and make a police report and met with a CPS worker, some kid who didn’t understand the type of trauma therapy she was in and determined in his report that I emotionally abused her by subjecting her to this therapy! Before receiving his report back, I also took her to Liberty House, a child advocacy center where three women took Victoria into a room for a forensic interview and video recorded her testimony while I waited in a lobby for 3 hours. They ushered her out stating how very impressed they were with her strength and bravery to share all that she did. I asked what to expect next, and they said the video would be forwarded on to investigators. Weeks later, I received a letter in the mail from the Oregon department of justice with their findings stating Victoria was in fact a crime victim and all of her therapy would be paid for until she was 21 years of age. I naively believed her dad would never be able to touch her again! Fall of 2020, her dad takes me to court for being in contempt of court by withholding the kids from him for his weekends. Victoria came with me to my lawyers office, ready to bravely give her testimony, but he and his lawyer ran the clock out! The judge kept reminding them that she didn’t have much time... and poof! He “accidentally” disconnects from the internet, and the rest of the time is gone. He reconnects and with the fakest voice ever and apologizes, claiming he’s not “tech savvy”. My lawyer then pleads with the judge to hear Victoria’s testimony, and the judge refuses, stating time is up and orders REUNIFICATION therapy!! ummm, excuse me.... what?! Reunite her with this sicko?! No way! We leave in tears and go home. It’s been a rough year anyways for everyone not having school or friends and just sitting in our apartment crying, isolated from the rest of the world because...covid. So fast forward to thanksgiving 2020, my friend comes to me and says, “we’ve GOT to get the heck out of Oregon! It’s getting worse and worse every day! I’m moving to Texas next weekend, come with me.” And there it is: my way out. The best solution I could see to protect my kids was right there in front of me, begging to take action! The state of Oregon certainly wasn’t going to protect them. The judge wouldn’t even hear my child’s testimony or review the 3 hr long interview and testimony of extensive sexual abuse!!! We were also in a completely shut down state, unable to work, unable to go to school or connect with others in any way. Victoria was crying everyday depressed over the isolation from her friends and classmates. I was having problems with the unemployment process and not receiving any financial assistance in that capacity or any other way. I had zero income whatsoever. Every month that went by was another month I couldn’t pay rent. What would happen when the eviction freeze lifted?? Yes. Yes, take us with you. I called Ethan who had recently reunited with his biological dad and was living a few hours away near Eugene. (such an amazing God story there) Ethan had been living with his dad, reconnecting and building a relationship with him for the first time ever! I did want to offer an opportunity for Ethan to come with us if he wanted to, and he did! We have LOVED living in an open and free state, where southern hospitality is definitely a thing! I have never met such a readily welcoming and warm community of people who just accepted us and loved on us from day one! and it breaks my heart knowing my kids will be ripped away from all of this love, connection and safety in just a few more days and placed with people who care NOTHING about the kids well-being. Tears are flowing now as I text this out on my phone, lying in bed next to my sleeping daughter and her little dog, Charlie who has been her companion for almost 4 years now and whom she will also have to say goodbye to on Thursday. I’m extra quiet, careful not to wake her, because I know as soon as she wakes, the tears will flow and explode from her shaking body as she weeps. This is absolutely HORRIBLE and so unjust! God, we need you! Come through and rescue my children! Seeing the fear in Colton and Victoria’s eyes two days ago when they heard the judge strike my evidence from the record, swing her gavel down and order the children immediately be removed from their home here in Tyler, Texas where they have been thriving with me and everything and everyone they know and love and to be placed with a relative of his that they’ve had minimal contact with over the course of their lives, until he is deemed safe by a court appointed reunification therapist who is 100% biased, was completely earth shattering and gut wrenching!!! This change of custody was granted to him on December 16th, 2021 at 11:30am after only 30 minutes of his lawyer speaking a bunch of legal jargon, which I now understand as his request for the judge to strike our evidence and testimony because I had (unknowingly) failed to respond to his request for discovery. I had no choice but to represent my kids in this custody battle. We fully believed that God would go before us and fight for us, ensuring victory. I did my very best, gathered and submitted to both his lawyer and the judge an impressive collection of letters and statements from multiple sources: friends, teachers, therapists, church leaders, etc... with the expectation my kids ages 16 and 13 would also be giving their testimony to the judge. So you can imagine, how devastating it has been the last few days to process the fact that mine and my children’s voices were silenced and told they would be forced to fly 2,200 miles away to live with a stranger before going into custody of a father who maintains a serious history of abuse and neglect. This gross misuse of justice is 100% destroying my children’s stability, sense of peace and safety and is directly placing them in harms way. If you know me and my kids, you know we are super tight knit crew. Our life together has been filled with adventure, compassion, kindness love and now an excess of tears and suffering and fear. I know we will get through this, but I need your help. It’s an extremely humbling place to be—posting on social media begging for financial assistance from friends and strangers alike, but my pride is of no concern to me. I need to fight. My kids need to know I’m fighting and the best way I can do so is with proper representation. I will be moving out of our beautiful home, selling everything I own, which is not much, and I will be working my ass off night and day between scattered bouts of tears and worship sessions to garner strength to keep going moment by moment. I will be sharing some of the documents and letters here with you all, so that they do not go to waste. It is clear that these children have been thriving in my care, and our story—our voices need to be heard! If not for us, for the countless other children and families who have fallen victim to the distructive, life-altering malpractice and abuse of judicial power within the family court system. Children should be protected, and at the very least, their voices should be heard loud and clear! Please help us. We need money and lots of it! The only way to fight this is with the biggest, baddest attorney I can find! They have to be on a plane to Oregon on Dec. 23rd, unless I can find a lawyer in time who can help us!