Once upon a time, there was a beautiful mother Elizabeth who loved her three children very much. Elizabeth had the misfortune of becoming very ill when she was only 30 years old, and she was unable to care for herself or her kids anymore. So, Elizabeth was forced to survive in and out of facilities most of her life, doing her best to keep moving forward but never losing her love for her family. Now 40 years later, Elizabeth’s dream is to finally be reunited with her children once again.
In this realm of bureaucracy, moving a disabled person between states is an epic quest - a quest that requires the determination of a Queen, the bravery of a Warrior and the gold equivalent of a Dragon’s den (for housing, caregiver, basic needs and medical needs while she establishes residency). Your donations combined with our hearts and focus will help make this a happily-ever-after for Elizabeth and her kids. Every little bit counts, and may your kindness be returned to you many many times over.
Read on for more of Elizabeth’s story.
Hi. I’m Terri and I am Elizabeth’s daughter. When I was 10 years old, my mother was afflicted by the disease known as schizophrenia. The disease shattered our reality as a family. One minute, myself and my brothers were living with Mom. The next, we were living with foster families or extended family while our Mom was hospitalized. While this was hard on us as kids, it was even harder on Mom. She missed us terribly, and we missed her too, but we all knew she was no longer able to care for us. So, we all did our best to adjust as a family.
Mom was a resident of Montana at the time, and became a patient at the Montana State Hospital for several years. Eventually, she was able to reside with our grandmother Eleanor peacefully until Eleanor passed away. At that time, none of us were in a position to be able to care for Mom and so she became a ward of the state again, and has been ever since.
The day I visited my Nana Eleanor right before she died in 2005, I promised my Nana - on her deathbed - that I would look out for Mom. One does not take this kind of promise lightly. I have done my best to keep that promise over the years, calling and visiting as much as I could. It was never enough. I haven’t lived in Montana since 1980 and California was too big and scary for Mom. I knew that trying to bring her to California would result in too much stress and potentially cause more trauma for her. I finally relocated to Portland, Oregon 5 years ago and I am finally in a position to be able to keep my promise to my Nana.
Consequently, the Covid epidemic has made it very clear to me that it’s not ok to be separated from our loved ones who need our support. Because Mom is in a care facility, she is not allowed to visit with her family due to the current visitation restrictions. This has impacted her mental health immensely. In October 2020 Mom was put in isolation for several days due to having been exposed to someone with Covid positive test. This was too much strain on her fragile mental state and she ended up going into a catatonic psychosis and was brought to hospital ER for tests and observations. I was unable to see her. I was unable to even speak to her. I had no options but to just pray that my mom would be OK. When Mom emerged from her break, I felt immense relief but also resolve. No longer was I going to just “hope” that Mom would be ok. I decided that bright October day, I would find a way to bring Mom home.
But, I cannot do this alone.
Moving a disabled relative between states is a daunting task. It requires large amounts of resources (in the thousands) as the family is temporarily responsible for the medical care, needs and nursing requirements of the disabled relative until the Medicare and Medicaid is approved in the new state. (The process is currently taking about two months.) There is even a risk that the person does not get approved - being approved in one state does not automatically mean approval in another - even someone like Mom. The cost of having a caregiver runs approximately $5000 per month. And that is a base rate. With transportation for Mom to get safely to Oregon, her medical visits and prescriptions and her housing all being covered out-of-pocket, one month will cost a minimum of $7500 and two months will cost $15,000. This has been a major block for us as a family. I have raised $4000 separately but still need at least $11,000 to make this work. I’ll keep going until I get there, because my heart won’t rest until my Mom is safely and finally by my side.
Thank you for reading our story, and if you have ever had the horror of mental illness strike any of your loved ones without mercy, please consider helping our cause. We are all in this together.
- Terri
